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Run 2366 – 7 December 2014

Barbie at German Club/AGM

The inaugural Canberra Hash AGPU convened at the German Club, Narrabundah. After an obligatory libation, the pack took off for one of the most gruelling Hash runs ever. A run not marked out in kilometres, but in years.

Making their way across Hindmarsh Drive, which included a ‘Fonzie Moment’ with the pedestrian crossing button, the pack headed for a journey Back-in-Time. From there, the run spanned over 4800 million years. Through all of the periods they ran, including the Ungracious, Prozac and Monthly, while checking out all of the rocks, yes rocks, along the way. Navigating through space and time the pack re-emerged in the year 2014 and headed back the German Club.

Ordering dinner after the arduous journey, where the cook threatened all of us with indebted servitude in his kitchen if we didn’t eat it all, the New Hashittee was elected. If your name appears on the New Hashittee, you have my deepest sympathies.

Barbie

Run Report: 19 January – Carpark at the Intersection of Iron Knob and Tom Price Streets, Fyshwick

Hare: Barbie Tools

The Hash convened on the cold wind-swept plains of Fyshwick.

Not one but two Hashworthy events. First: The return of Jesus. That’s right, Dingles is back from his grey-nomad tour and is more Jesus than ever. Second goes to Cheeky and her one-eyed dog, for choosing to come out of retirement to extend a visit to the Hash.

Pointing us in the wrong direction, Barbie set us off. Correcting the error, off we went... again. Not mentioning the need for machetes, stil outdoor power tools, or MacGyver skills, the pack struggled on as they tried to navigate through overgrown vegetation, left-behind building materials, steep-sideways slopes and blackberry bushes. Getting to firmer, levelish ground, the pack took off... except when they had trouble finding the trail. The trail did have some lovely vistas like, the ornamental railway tracks in the grass; the wild fenced off petrol station; and, the landscaped scrap yards. After an arduous effort the pack finally managed to find the On-In. Off they raced passed DFO, but try as they might they could not beat the Power of Oldness of Dingles who managed to walk back to the tubs by the same time.

Incongruously, Barbie Tools served cold meat and salad, for the evening meal. Having nothing else, all dug in. After some food, drinks and chat the hash tolerated the cold wind as long as they could and departed into the night.

On On Handover

Run Report: 2 February – BBQs, Charleston Street, Monash

Hare: Dingles

Dingle’s Run, where the BBQs are ornamental.

The highlight was the Return of Walkwalker, The Ghost Who Walks, The Man Who Never Dies. Tired from a hard day hanging with Tony Abbot all day, he decided the Hash was the lesser of two evils. Off went the pack getting a grand tour of the many pathways and alleyways of Monash. Whiteout proved she will take crap from anyone, when her dogs showed what they thought of the run. Scaring the locals as we yelled out “On On”, the pack continued. In no time at all, we found ourselves back at the ornamental BBQs.

Proving once again that he really is Jesus, Dingles managed to feed the masses with 2 sausages and a loaf of bread. While we were feeding our faces, we must have been an intimidating sight, as not 1 but 2 cars changes changed their minds about coming to the park. As the weather was becoming colder and colder, we decided to beat a hash retreat.

On On Handover

Run Report: 9 February – Acton Ferry Terminal, Kuttabul Place, Acton

Hare: Handover

It was a great day for running. The hash enjoyed the stunning vistas on offer. There was also the view of the lake, with trees and mountains to look at.

Confused by the stacked up shipping containers, the hash set off eager to show the amateur joggers, what an elite pack could do. Huffing and puffing, the pack headed over the Commonwealth Bridge and along the lake. Running around the Hyatt, the pack discovered the sculptured, sludgy water feature that must have cost a fortune. Crossing the road through the tunnel with some very loud On-Ons, the trail continued on heading towards Parliament House. The trail went through the Magna Carta Gardens at Old Parliament House, and then took a large detour around the Large Tent Embassy. Rex the dog was very unsure of the dalek-looking fire hydrants around. Running past Questacon the pack suddenly lost the trail. Could not find it anywhere. Thinking it could have been one of Questacon’s illusions, the pack decided to head back via the lake. Getting back to the bridge, the pack picked up the trail again and headed back to the ferry terminal.

For food was some snags and out-of-date sauces, which seemed to have more flavour than usual. After having their fill the hash disappeared into the sunset.

On On Handover

Run Report: 16 February – Corner of Aspinall and Antill Streets, Watson

Hare: Missing Bits

If the storm clouds and Mount Majura looming over us weren’t daunting, it was the thought of a Missing Bits run.

It didn’t take long. The trail went up and up, then down, then up, then up again. A continuing pattern I will say. The pack, however, was determined. Until suddenly, the pack started grabbing at faces and hair, or falling to the ground, speaking in tongues. The only coherent words were ‘f%#*en spider webs’. From then on, whoever was the front running bastard would be waving a stick around in front of them. If anybody was watching, I am sure they would have thought the Hash were escaped from some loony asylum, performing like a demented marching band. Escaping the webs, the pack surged on. A few startled runners suddenly found themselves running with the Hash. They didn’t know what to make of the ‘On Ons’ or the ‘On Left’. They breathed a sigh of relief when the pack changed direction. The trail took us through a few War Time Memorials in Valour Park. The pack paused to pay respects. As a Missing Bits run will do, the pack finally saw the finish, only to have the trail go in another direction. Finally, the pack made it back safe and sound.

Missing Bits served up some bacon and egg rolls. Great hearty food after such a demanding run.

On On Handover

Run Report: 23 February – 1 Braund Place, Kambah

Hare: Whiteout

Such a run it was, with the Hare leading the way.

The Hare hadn’t set a run. Didn’t even try. However, after a few comments of being soft, she threw down a gauntlet and cried, “Let’s go then!” Off she went with a willing pack coming after. Through the streets and footpaths of Kambah she took us. Past the hoarders, wild beasts and a tempting bar fridge on wheels we went. The Hare suddenly changed course when not one but two canine runners laid some cables. Of course she went up. And up. And Up. At first we thought it a mirage. The damn had no water. As we got closer, we still thought we could see that the damn had no water. We passed the drought stricken damn, with the rusty exercise bike and sinking children and once again negotiated the streets and pathways of Kambah. After a number of twists and turns, we finally found ourselves back at the start.

Hoi Sin and Satay sticks were enthusiastically gobbled down, with the Hash dogs waiting impatiently for their share. In a rarely witnessed full Canberra Hash Ceremony, Damien was officially baptised “Washed Out”.

On On Handover

Run Report: 2 March – Run Site 1

Hare: Live

The hash gathered at the place where it all began.

The ghosts of hashers and dogs past were present as we prepared for an epic run. As were the 2 guys fishing and the lady, perving on us as we changed into something more comfortable. With that on their minds, off went the pack, dodging kamikaze, out of control cyclists. The trail followed the bike path and straight towards the arboretum, of course, where the pack zigged, then zagged, then zigged and zagged, trying in vain to catch the people walking a straight line, all the way to the top. Continuing up, the pack ran to the very peak of the arboretum, where a really weird metallic species of bird nested. There the pack paused to enjoy the Hash Vista of trees and the not quite trees. Moving on the pack went down, finally, with renewed gusto. Around the damn and through the tunnel until the pack found the zoo. Warily watching the wild cars the pack headed for home.

The OnSec unveiled the 3 dish banquet he had laboriously prepared. Pizza, Supreme Nachos and Barbeque with dipping sauces. Disappearing into the night, the Hash payed their respects once again.

On On Handover

Run Report: 9 March – Carpark at Parliament House

Hare: Handover

Canberra Hash convened at Parliament House, the home of Tony Abbot and his crew. The Hash stuck out like a pimple on the end of a nose.

Shout out to Crazy German, whose goal is run with as many hash groups as he can. Everyone needs a goal.

Off charged the pack... on the shortest run in history, when the On In was discovered at the first check. The Hare had to point the way and off went the pack... again. Around the House went the trail, with a security vehicle driving past. The trail led down the ramp towards the Old House, seeing the security vehicle again. Crazy German soon became a cloud in the distance as he surged ahead. He couldn’t afford to take it easy; he had an appointment with more Hash groups. The trail took a nice tour through the Senate Garden, and the Representative Garden, which seemed to have a party going on. Coming out of the gardens the pack headed back up the ramp back towards the House, seeing the security vehicle again and a brief glimpse of Crazy German. Reaching the top the pack headed around the House on the other side, seeing the security vehicle again, and back to the cars.

The Hare served up delicious food that even had the dogs begging.

On On Handover

Run Report: 16 March – Under the power lines on Bindubi Street, Aranda

Hare: Missing Bits

We were in a panic. We wrote notes for our loved-ones; we had all our affairs in order; we had the SES on standby; we had another Missing Bits run.

To ward off getting lost, we decided to head off in not one, but three packs, One walking, two running. If one got lost the others might have a chance of finding us. The walking pack and the 1st running pack set off at the same time. The 2nd running pack set off 10 minutes after. That was the last each pack saw each other. The run went well to start with, we were finding the trail, as we realised that the only way was up. Once there was no more up, then the challenge began. We ran this way and that, sometimes even finding trail. I think we managed to cover every square inch of the Aranda Bushlands, without running into the other packs. As the sun waned, it seemed unlikely we would even find our way out. There was supposed to be a drink stop. By the time everyone finally made their way back to the cars, it was as fully stocked as it was at the start, as no one managed to find the drink stop. We were thinking ourselves fortunate we found our way back.

Missing Bits served up some commiserating hamburgers as we drowned our sorrows in the dark.

On On Handover

Run Report: 23 March – BBQs on Charleston Street, Monash

Hare: Dingles

It had been brewing all day. Building up and building up until it seemed like it would drench us all in torrents. But enough about Barbie Tools habits.

With grey clouds taunting us the pack took off and a gruelling, challenging run it was. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with D. On every path and road the trail went, there they were. We had to dodge, we had to duck and we had to weave, there was no avoiding them. The trail lead us around the many good streets and pathways of Monash, with its well kept gardens and a strange absence of power lines. The trail eventually led us into Oxley, which somehow seemed darker than Monash. It might have had something to do with sun going down, I’m not entirely certain. Just when we thought we were heading into Tuggeranong, the trail took an abrupt left and mercifully back into Monash. With the light failing and not a torch between us, we began to get worried. Our mere presence was enough to scare children back into their homes as we franticly searched out the trail. Realising we were close, the pace quickened, until we were sprinting to get back to the BBQs.

Whiteout gets a special mention and is awarded a Dingle Dangle for finding a clear majority of the On Ons. Dingles fed us his sausage, as the rain started to fall, which we chomped down on, giving the leftovers to the dogs.

On On Handover

Run Report: 30 March – BBQs on Don Dunstan Drive, Bonython

Hare: Washed Out

Although clouds were everywhere, with the RA on his side, rain was not a problem for Washed Out’s second run.

The Hash met at the familiar Bonython at an unfamiliar location. With the New Bonython wetlands and the setting sun turning the sky pink as the backdrop, the only thing missing on the run was singing angels, rainbows and a broken-down abandoned beer truck. Stopping to take photos, the pack were giddy as school girls by the amount of Hash-Vista there were as the trail took them through the woods and around the ponds. The run took us down to Pine Island and back, bush bashing through the woods and the dirt pathways. It was almost pitch black when we arrived back at the BBQs.

Learning fast, Washed Out served up his first Hash sausage, which were eagerly gobbled down.

On On Handover

Run Report: 5 April – Change Over Campout, Woods Reserve

Hare: Whiteout

The 27th, one-off, biannual, once a year, every-now-and-then Change Over weekend campout was a hoot. Action packed and full of hijinks and debauchery. If you weren’t there, you should have been.

The Hash gathered at 10.00am, no one forgetting to switch their clocks, with the sun bursting through the clouds. The run had many features. Water crossings, rock hopping, bush bashing, and pigmy guides. Occasionally we actually ran, most of the time we were carefully, but not successfully, negotiating tiny sharp pricks, or crawling through dense foliage. When we reached a wide open road, it was such a luxury. The trail took us up to the Hash Vista at Gibraltar Falls, where we paused to take in the view and assess injuries. Taking a deep breath, we braved the rest of the course, following the creek. Although the trail ran alongside the creek, somehow we kept losing it. We lost count of the number of times we crossed the creek, and scurried over rocks to find the trial again. I don’t know what we looked like when we finally made it back to the campground, but the Rangers did a double-take.

The Hash enjoyed a well deserved drink and some awesome food cooked by Junior Masterchef John.

On On Handover

Run Report: 12 April – Carpark, ½ way up Black Mountain Drive, Black Mountain

Hare: Handover

The Hash reached new heights on Black Mountain, with some Hash coming out of their summer hibernation.

The Hare announced the run was only 2.5km. It started off well enough, the trail started down. The going wasn’t easy, with slippery, loose rocks all over the path. The down just seemed to keep going and as every good Hasher knows, every down has an equal and opposite up. Finally the trail stopped going down and the pack managed a nice leisurely run. Then came the two-way. One direction was inviting, the other was the stuff out of nightmares. The inevitable up. Up it went and up and up and up. Then came the prick-tease check. The choices were, back down, level left, more up, level right. Up it went and up and up and up. Finally the pack reached the top, there was no more up, unless the trail went up the tower. Thankfully a Hash Vista waited to help recovery. A quick check of devices revealed the up was a 200metre ascent, going forward just over ½ a kilometre. From there the pack was able to actually run again as the trail followed the road down the mountain all the way back to the carpark.

The Hare apologised as he announced he had not packed one of the key ingredients for making hamburgers, bread. Saving the day was Barbie Tools, who produced a loaf of bread and various sauces saying, ‘They have been in the fridge for a while.’

On On Handover

P.S. A Canberra Hash Salute goes out to Queen Latrine from Capital Hash, who completed the ANZAC Ultra just after midnight Sunday morning, 450km run/walk in 6 days.

Run Report: 19 April – Beaver Park, Gilmore Place, QBN

Hare: Barbie

Beaver Park QBN certainly lived up to its name. Bushy, damp, amenities for people to play and eat and popular with the local drunks.

With the Hare missing in action to attend his sick father [Insert Joke Here] and selfishly not setting the run first, the Hash were without trail. Banding together the Hash decided, ‘let’s run around the streets of Queanbeyan for a while. What’s the worst that can happen?’ Off went the pack, taking a leisurely tour of the artistic looking scenery, if the artist is Jackson Pollock or Salvador Dalí. With On Ons here and On Ons there, the pack found themselves back at the welcoming Beaver Park.

We managed to startle the early morning drunks when we all pulled out our own drinks. ‘We like to blend in’ we said. If you didn’t notice the different standard in hygiene and the number of teeth we would have. Another reason Barbie should have been there.

On On Handover

We all wish Dubbo Dad a swift recovery.

Run Report: 26 April – Eddison Park, Woden

Hare: Whiteout

The Hash met at Eddison Park, named after the Eddison Family that once owned the area, who lost all three sons during WWII.

Off went the eager pack... to be stopped by a check. Finding the On, off went the eager pack... to be stopped by a check. Finding the On, off went the eager pack... to be stopped by a check. The pack sensed a pattern. And yes, it continued, more checks than a bank. At least it gave us time to look at all the views that the Woden area had to offer. Such as, the one blue terrace house amongst all the identical cream ones. The fresh, sparkling athletic track. That’s about it. After more stop-starting, the pack found themselves back at Eddison Park and nearly ran into the Yoga group, who also tried to get out of the way, but much slower.

The Hare cooked up ‘gourmet’ hamburgers, including cheese with holes in them. Fancy.

On On Handover

Run Report: 3 May – BBQs, John Knight Memorial Park, Emu Bank

Hare: Spaceman Africa

It was a great day for running!

Belconnen, the land of Belconnians. Out they were, soaking up the sunshine and enjoying a jaunt around Lake Ginninderra. Run features were, a Virgin Hare, a Virgin Runner and no-longer-Virgin uni students. The trail took a nice tour around John Knight Park, before heading up to the university. There, we went up steps, then down steps, then up steps, then down steps, with uni students looking on as if we were the weirdos. The trail took us past a very tempting Zierholz, but as we didn’t even have 5c between us, we regrettably moved on. Bloody Hare didn’t mention a drink stop. The trail eventually took us past the skate park and back to the bbqs.

The Hare put on a good spread with some hamburgers. Must have had something in it, as before we knew it, it was nearly midday.

On On Handover

Run Report: 10 May – Corner of Phillip and Madigan in Hackett

Hare: Missing Bits

Ever been blown at a Hash run? Anything is possible at a Missing Bits run.

Missing Bits added an extra challenge to his runs. Find the actual start. Some of us managed to find the illusive location, only to face the daunting prospect of a Missing Bits run in cold, extreme windy conditions. With the collective thinking that the only way to possibly warm up was by running, off went the pack. Bits must be getting soft, as checks and trail were not too difficult, but still as twisted as ever, as we tackled the course with the ever-bloody present gustily winds. Just as we had had about enough, along comes a mini version of a Missing Bits run. Someone just a diabolical as Bits made themselves a labyrinth, with the same twisted mind. Just when you think you know where you are and think you are nearing the end, it turns the other way and takes forever to get to the end. But what was at the end of this labyrinth? We were all secretly hoping for a golden pot of beer, but it turned out to be a box with random bits of junk in it. Cool. Off we went, eager to get the run over with and out of the bloody wind.

Finally we made our way back to the cars to find the Bits family busy trying to keep the flames ignited. They also managed to feed us, before we all decided we had had enough of the bloody wind.

On On Handover

Run Report: 17 May – Bottom of Mount Ainslie Drive, Mt. Ainslie

Hare: Chris

Nothing beats spending time amongst nature. Surrounded by forest, with birds fluttering about and kangaroos doing what kangaroos do, with the calming, tranquil sound of gun fire.

The Hash gathered at the bottom of Mt. Ainslie. Proving that Old Timers know how to do it better, Chris even provided the best running weather. Pointing us in the direction where the gun fire was coming from, the Pack nervously headed out. Luckily, the trail didn’t go through the shooting range (this time), but took us around, with the pack moving at a steady pace. It wasn’t good enough. After a surging 10 minute jog, the short-cutting walking bastards, managed to meet up with us. The checks were a challenge. Just recognising one to start with was the challenge. They turned out to be an old fashioned, archaic version of a check. Apparently in the old days, they used toilet paper to mark their checks (in case you are wondering, no one was game to get close enough to find out). Also ‘False Trails’, which clearly not being a check, the pack didn’t understand, until they realised there was no more trail. Once we translated the markers, the pack moved off confidently once more, able to take in more of the nice scenery. The trail ended with a run down Mount Ainslie Drive, dodging all the traffic of cyclists and cars.

The Hash were then treated to pre-cooked sausages. They might have been sun warmed, it was hard to tell. Beggar’s can’t chooses, so we all dug in. With magpies, peewees and native miners swarming us, we decided to exit into the almost noon sunrise.

On On Handover

Run Report: 24 May – BBQs, Telopea Park, Barton

Hare: Handover

Cold, bloody cold, freezing cold. So cold that only 1 body part was not stiff and sore.

With a very frosty -3°C, it seems people were wussing by their heaters and electric blankets, as there was a very small attendance. The few shivering, brave souls were eager to get on with it, we wanted to warm up. Off went the very small pack. The saying, “Straight is Great, Curvy is Purvy”, must have been what they were thinking when they made the streets of Kingston. If there are curves in Kingston, we didn’t see them. The trail did have some interesting features on the other side of Wentworth Avenue. Kingston Foreshore seems to be where the other half likes to play. The dress code seems to be whatever makes you look like you exercise and a dog. There also seems to be an attempt to look like Woolloomooloo Bay in Sydney. There is a bay with a wharf that has no boats and no way of getting anything taller than a standing kayak in. Moving on the trail took us along the lake and back towards Telopea park.

Handover had great stew waiting, perfect for a chilly morning. It was attracting all sorts, including the ice-girl walking a dog bigger than she was.

On On Handover

Run Report: 31 May – Rond Terraces in Commonwealth Park

Hare: MS Society

The best Hash turn out ever. More than 100 generous people turned up for the Canberra Hash MS Fun Run.

After a well needed pre-run warm up, off went the pack. There was no waiting-for-the-pack on this run. It got a bit tricky trying to fit so many people on the Kings Avenue Bridge foot path. Somehow no one ended up trampled or being shoved over the rails, even though people were eager to pass the slower people who always seem to get ahead and people who were just out for a leisurely walk. With the help of traffic control, for once we didn’t have to negotiate traffic as we crossed the road to the other side of the lake. After that, it was pretty good running. The run across Commonwealth Bridge was much less dramatic, but still quite challenging. After that it was easie-peasie to get back to the Start/Finish line. Some were crazy enough to brave a second lap.

After indulging in some free fruit and water, we splurged and bought some hot soup. The pumpkin soup was good, but whatever they put in the chicken vegetable soup smelled like crap, literally.

On On Handover

Run Report: 8 June – Frith Road, Acton – behind the CSIRO

Hare: Missing Bits

Something Old Something Borrowed, Something Less Old Something Something.

A very monumental turnout. Chris’s first Hash run in 20 years, Polly Waffler’s first Canberra run in 18ish months, and Greasy’s return and an intrigued, random 30ish guy. There has never been a more apt location for a Missing Bits run. The CSIRO, home of science. We were determined; we were going to science the hell out of it. Off went the pack, up hill... there was no other direction. The trail went longitudinal and latitudinal and ascentitudinal with some downitudinal. The pack made it back to the cars without too much trouble; Bits must have been off his game or feeling generous.

Missing and Mrs Bits served up some delicious bos taurus on triticum aestivum, as we chatted into the evening.

On On Handover

Run Report: 14 June – BBQs at Printers Way, Kingston

Hare: Live Hare

Kingston Foreshore, where half the population are dogs.

The Hash met at the only piece of lawn on the foreshore. We were all feeling overdressed when everyone else seemed to be wearing tight fitness clothing. Wanting to show them what real athletes looked like, off went the pack. The live trail followed the lake towards Kings Avenue, where it was like we had joined a colony of ants, with everyone going the same way. With an ‘On Left’, we left them all behind and crossed into Parkes. The live trail took us through the business streets of Parkes and then through the residential streets of Forrest. Running through Manuka caused a bit of a stir, some well-to-dos having to quickly jumping out of the way for us. After a quick run through Griffith, we made our way back to Kingston.

The Hash dined on not 1 but 2 excellently prepared chips.

On On Handover

Run Report: 21 June – Himalayan Cedar Forest picnic area, National Arboretum

Hare: Live Hare

It may not have been the actual Himalayas, but it was almost cold enough.

We all had something in common, we were all late. 10.10, 10.15, 10.30, 11.00am, in dribs and drabs we arrived, but not all at the same location. Apparently Dairy Farmers Hill sounds just like Himalayan Cedar Forest. Lucky for them, we found them while following the live trail. The trial we chose was challenging. We willingly went down, knowing we would have to go up again, to stop for a H.V. at Dairy Farmers Hill. On our way back to the Himalayas, we thought we would shake up the locals by running through the main building. We managed to startle what we thought were some wild animals that had made it inside, but turned out to be a couple of young ladies wearing animal ears on their head. Getting back to the Himalayas, we discovered more late arrivals.

Heading down to the BBQs, we found ourselves part of a children’s party treasure hunt. The treasure was the food and the kids were not getting anything to eat unless they found it. The food we discovered was pancakes, popcorn and Doritos, which is always the best food when in the Himalayas.

On On Handover

Run Report: 5 July – Where You Were

Hare: Hash Halt

Hashers were all over the place. The Kimberley’s; The Winter Walk; The lock up; under a warm doona, a good Hash Halt was had by all.

On On Handover

Run Report: 28 June – 11 Carolyn Jackson Drive, Jerrabomberra

Hare: Barbie Tools

It was the return to Jerrabomberra, Casa de Sfacciato, with dogs and chickens everywhere.

With Barbie Tools warning to not just look at the ground for arrows, off went the pack. What a run it was. Jerrabomberra has never before seen like it before. If we didn’t look ridiculous enough with our hobbling run, we certainly did while searching for the arrows. Trees, posts, pavement, the back of moving vehicles, they could have been anywhere. We eventually made our way back to the tubs, with rather saw necks.

Barbie served up his world famous pancakes, which everyone gobbled down with delight. Apparently they taste better with Hot chilli on them.

On On Handover

Run Report: 12 July – Apex Park, 22 Campbell St, Queanbeyan

Hare: Handover

Wet and cold, sums it up. Apparently the only thing Hashers dislike more than wet and cold, is wet and cold in Queanbeyan. Giving up on running, the group decided to see if the sausages would fry or boil on the bbq. It was taking so long, we gave up, all of us wanting to get inside where it was warm and dry.

On On Handover

Run Report: 19 July – Run Site 1, Lady Denman Drive, Yarralumla

Hare: Live Hare

Run Site 1. The place where it all began.

A site that is notorious for bad weather, for once, the sun was warm, with no hint of rain or wind. Although, occasionally some wind could be heard. The pack took off, determined that they could make it all the way to the top of the Arboretum and back again. The pack did not factor in all of the speeding cyclists, who seemed to think of runners as an obstacle to go through. Finding ourselves at the gates of the Arboretum, we stopped to survey the track we would take, like a check but not. Choosing a path on went the pack again. After attempting the rock wall steeple chase, we noticed someone standing at the lookout, who seemed to be watching us. Once we finally reached the summit, the guy, we think he worked there, informed us that pets needed to be on leads. ‘If you want to get a collar on Kandoo, then we will get a lead on him,’ we replied. Whatever questions the pack asked him, about trees, he would always answer that pets needed to be on leads. It was all downhill from there, literally. Dodging a few more cyclists along the way, we made our way back to the bbqs.

The Hash ate a few traditional sausages, before disappearing into the noonday sun.

On On Handover

Run Report: 26 July – 1 Braund Place, Kambah

Hare: Whiteout

With dark clouds and chilly winds, it did not look like good conditions for a Hash run. However, with the RA setting the run, Whiteout had everything under control.

Meeting at Kambah, the Pack, featuring a visiting Tree Router, were eager to get going to try and avoid the looming weather. But they were distracted by the first recorded Hash Cat to attend a run. Off went the pack, charging at a pretty slow pace. Down the paths we went, running between the rows of houses. We soon discovered the 1st of many water crossings, which the Hare forgot to mention. Quite deep and wide puddles covering the footpaths. We should have worn gumboots. Running past the Burns Club and around the ovals, the pack soon lost trail. We checked everywhere, but could find no hide, nor hare of it. Taking matters into our own hands, the pack chose our own path and found the trail, only to lose it again. Sticking to our chosen trail, once again we found the trail, which continued to go our way. Over the Yellow Bridge Road we went, some going the long way round on the other side, where we found the biggest On In arrow we had ever seen.

Getting back to the start, we feasted on tiny party pies and sausage rolls as the drizzling rain began. The RA planned it very well.

On On Handover

Run Report: 2 August – 5/49 Pinkerton Cct, Kambah

Hare: Handover

Handover’s Hash warming run was wet and wild.

As the Hash arrived at the new Handover mansion, the weather suddenly went from cold and wet, to cold, wet and sunny. With the assurance of many shortcutting opportunities if the rain started up again, off went the pack. If the trail wasn’t covered in pools of water, it was slippery and muddy. The trail took us onto Urambi Hill behind all the nice, warm, cozy and dry houses. After we all gained another 2 inches in height due to the mud stuck to our shoes, we finally ran off the hill and through the streets of Kambah. We’ve all seen them before, including the empty, non-adventurous play ground. Letting us enter through his back door, miraculously, we all made it back to Handover’s without any more rain falling, not that we weren’t wet.

Handover had cooked up some Yum Cha treats, which were nice and warm and everyone gobbled down eagerly.

On On Handover

Run Report: 9 August – Hyde Park, Sydney

Hare: City2Surf

There were over 80,000! Somehow we all managed to cram ourselves into the streets surrounding Hyde Park.

With a cool, clear morning, it was perfect weather. With a big mad dash, the city to surf began. As usual, there were walls of slow moving walkers who always seem to be ahead. There was heaps of entertainment along the way, with Where’s Wally’s and Wallyette’s; Elvis impersonators; Beatle Impersonators; duf-duf impersonators; and, tai-chi impersonators. The run finished, as it always does, at Bondi Surf Club.

The Hash met afterwards to celebrate or drown their sorrows. We should have partied harder though, as we were kicked out of The Bondi Hotel for behaving ourselves.

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Run Report: 16 August – Frith Road, Acton – behind the CSIRO

Hare: Missing Bits

The Hash met at the bottom of Black Mountain for a Missing Bits run. Yes, the bottom.

The day was delightfully warm for still being in Winter, so everyone was in the mood for some running. We were also honoured by visiting Hasher Rimmer, who came all the way from China to run with the infamous Canberra Hash. Off went the Pack, Rimmer gleefully leading the way. The trail was not going up, so the pack became more enthusiastic, believing that Bits was getting soft. Then with a sudden sharp right, found themselves facing directly at Black Mountain. With many muttered oaths, up went the pack, then up some more, than still up and up and up and up. It even slowed down the irrepressible Rimmer. Eventually, thank the Hash Gods, up finally ran out. The pack was rewarded with some really awesome views of Canberra surrounding the mountain, before heading back down. A few poor souls lost trail. It was suspected that it might have been deliberate, since someone up ahead kept rubbing out the arrows. In dribs and drabs everyone eventually made it back to the tubs.

Missing Bits and Junior Bits cooked up some hamburgers that were heartily received.

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Run Report: 23 August – 33 Paquita Street, Forde

Hare: Kandoo

I don’t think anyone was on time, so far away is Forde.

The Hash met up at Casa de Kandoo, in Gungahlin. Gungahlin is full of very friendly people, so friendly they make sure their houses are as close together as possible. The Hash were eager to see this very friendly neighbourhood for themselves. With an extremely late On-On, off went the pack. “Bendy is Trendy”, seems to be Kandoo’s favourite phrase. No path was too big or too small, if it took us somewhere indirectly, that was the way we went. The pack was privileged with 2 Hash Vistas, although one of them was in a kid’s playground. The pack was so disoriented, we took a wrong turn even after the On In.

Successfully making it back to the Kandoo Castle, we all enjoyed an awesome sausage fest.

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Run Report: 30 August – BBQs, Don Dunstan Drive, Bonython

Hare: Washed Out

Bonython is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.

The Hash drove past slum worthy houses to arrive at the very picturesque Bonython Wetlands. With an ominous sounding ‘I might be here when you get back’ from Washed Out, off went the pack. We did not care that we were running just faster than a turbo charged snail, we had plenty to look at and enjoy the sight of. We even stopped to admire some of the views, even thought the Hare didn’t mark any H.V.’s.

The pack made it back after a slow paced majestic run and feasted on some awesomely cooked food.

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Run Report: 6 September

Hare: The Canberra Times Fun Run

Did you come to the run?

To the run did you come?

I had fun, we had fun.

We all had fun,

Everyone.

You must have finished if you’d come.

We all finished,

Everyone.

We all drank some,

After the run.

Without any sun,

We drank to have fun.

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Run Report: 13 September - BBQs at Lennox Gardens, Yarralumla

Hare: Live Hare

Spring finally arrived! The sun was out, the carp were singing! What a day it was!

The Hash arrived at Lennox Gardens, finding other people were also out enjoying the sun and warmth. Enthusiastically, the Hash were off. The very busy Live trail took the pack over Commonwealth Bridge and continued onto the Museum, with the lovely Hash Vista and Aromatic Blue-Green water. Circumventing the Museum the pack headed back across Commonwealth Bridge, but on the other side this time. Who said we were predictable? With a loop under the bridge the pack were back where they started.

The Hash enjoyed the BBQ. Chips are always welcome after a run. Enjoying being out in the sun, the Hash were slow to depart, but of course we eventually did.

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Run Report: 20 September - Bottom of Mount Ainslie Drive, Mt. Ainslie

Hare: Heychris

The Hash met at the bottom of Mount Ainslie, eager and raring to go.

Off went the pack and immediately lost trail. Back tracking, we looked and looked. The Hare had to rescue us and show the way. Getting on again, the pack were off and lost trail again. The amused Hare, pointed. Off we went, twice bitten thrice shy, we were now on the lookout for when the arrows stopped. As with most mountains, all roads lead up and this mountain is no exception. We really felt more like bumbling mountain goats than elite athletes, the trail being quite loose and slippery underfoot. Eventually we were the entertainment of a school excursion, who were at the top of the mountain wondering what they were supposed to be looking at, and there we were. Knowing that the only way was down, onward we went, criss-crossing the Kokoda Memorial Track. But someone stopped and wanted us to watch their pick-up technique on a couple of ladies. Didn’t take long before off were off again. After a very, very long On-In we were back to where we started.

With some really good food, we watched the same rider go back and forth very frequently. Someone mentioned they saw ice cream at the top, which prompted a mass migration back up the mountain.

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Run Report: 27 September - 1 Wybalena Grove, Cook – Change-Over Run

Hare: Missing Bits

The Traditional, Yearly, Inaugural, Biannual Change-Over Run! What a glorious day it was.

The Hashers were confused when they found themselves in a townhouse carpark. However, following the HHH signs, we eventually found we were in the right place. Greeting us all was Little Bits, who informed us that Missing Bits was ‘still out there’. This did not bode well, but following the direction to the start, off went the pack. The going was good and strong, for about a kilometre when the first ‘I think I’ve run enough’ came up. Startled the pack kept going. The trail was very picturesque, running through the farm paddocks, with the weird circular chicken wire structures, and the bushlands that extends all the way to Black Mountain. We know it does. We went there. At times we were forced to slow down to a walk. Although at the pace Polly Waffler was going we were all running just to keep up. We were at least 10kms in, with no sign of heading back when the call ‘On Home’ was heard. I think I have seen documentaries showing animal stampedes. Thinking about a nice cold beer, the packs reaction looked something like that. Winding their way through the labyrinthine streets of Belconnen, that pack eventually made it back to the tubs.

The Hash partied on like it was the last Sunday run of the year, with some cold drinks and heaps upon heaps of food and snacks.

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Run Report: 5 October - National Carillon, Aspen Island

Hare: Live Hare

The Carillon was going strong to mark the start of the 2709th Run.

The Pack’s run around the lake had the usual features and a few unusual ones as well. Such as, the guy who was really stretching his groin out, wearing his short-shorts. The 3 bikies riding right up onto one of the jetties to have a photo shoot. The fella who came out to fish and with his first cast, caught a high branch of a tree. Eventually we managed to circumvent around the lake and make our way back to the peals of the Carillon.

Relaxing in the shade, the Hash feasted with some food and drinks, until realising it was almost 7pm. Obviously our clocks needed more adjusting.

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Run Report: 12 October - Canberra Nature Park, off Heysen Street, Lyons

Hare: Handover

The Hare was missing. The Hash arrived, including the out-of-hibernation Dingles, and could not see him anywhere.

Noticing traces of flour on the ground, the pack decided not to wait. Seeing the first arrow on the other side of the horse gate, off went the pack. The trail took the pack along the ridge behind Curtin, slowing down often due to the busy traffic of dog walkers. The pack took a winding tour through the footpaths of Curtin as the sun was going down below the horizon. The pack gave a thought to Whiskers (may he rest in style), as the trail took them past his old house. After heading back up and around the ridge, the pack made it back to the horse paddocks just as the sun was disappearing.

They finally found the Hare sitting under a tree, at a kids table and chairs set, cooking sausages on a portable camp stove.

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Run Report: 19 October - BBQs on Charleston Street, Monash

Hare: Dingles

The Hash met at Monash, for the first time since the last time, for the first Dingles run of the season.

The Hash slowly arrived to be met be Brother of Dingles. Dingles pointed the way and off went the pack. The trail was pretty straight forward, but then suddenly, there was a back check that caught everyone off guard. Being more vigilant, the pack continued on. There was a brief incident with a roller derby chick, who barrelled through the pack, only to be cleverly outwitted by one of the dogs. As the pack turned a corner, they came across the Monash Wetlands. Dingles had spared no expense to add this new addition, which featured ducks and old people. With a few more twists and turns from the pack, they returned to the ornamental bbqs.

Dingles served up the obligatory sausages, making sure to give the onions to the dogs to fuel the furnace.

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Run Report: 26 October - Top end of Canning Street, Ainslie

Hare: Missing Bits

As the Hash started to arrive, the first challenge was parking on the narrowest road, ever. They then realised that once parked, getting out again would prove more of a challenge.

As Missing Bits pointed the way, the pack checked that they had their torches, gps, maps, compasses, food, drink, epirbs, life jackets, last will and testaments, and then off they went. At the checks, the pack didn’t even pause before they all chose the path heading up. The pack would call out ‘On-On’ as hundreds of kangaroos would scatter in all directions. Eventually, the trail ended up on the Mount Ainslie Express Way, which was chock-a-block full of walkers and runners going both up and down. At one check, the trail was so far away the ‘on-on’ was phoned in. Eventually, the pack made it back to the tubs, only to discover that a second pack had arrived and was still out there.

Well, while the beer is still there; the hash feasted on party pies and sausage rolls, as the second pack arrived. The hash lingered as we all strategised how the hell they were going to get our cars out of there.

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Run Report: 2 November - Colquhoun Cct, Kambah

Hare: Whiteout

What a day for a run.

The Hash arrived at the bottom of Mount Taylor. When the run starts from the bottom of a mountain, there is only one way to go. Not as high as some, the pack charged. Damn, damn, damn. We saw them all. Enough that some were wishing they had brought yabbie traps. If you don’t like yabbies, then you had your choice of kangaroo. Mobs and mobs of them. Typically the trail went all the way up, there was nowhere else to go, except down. Yipee! Off we went eagerly, passed the kangaroos, hares and goats, yes, goats. Eventually we found our way to the bottom.

The Hare had prepared some fine smoked food, which the Hash gobbled down eagerly.

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Run Report: 9 November - End of Bushfire Memorial Access Road, Stromlo

Hare: Handover

The Hash met at the bottom of Mount Stromlo. We were the only ones without bikes.

With the Hare pointing the way, off went the pack. The trail inevitably went up. The trail was fun on the narrow, winding bike trails, it was like being on a slow moving rollercoaster. Managing to avoid a collision with an out of control cyclist, the pack found themselves at a place called The Playgound. The trail took us over 3 see-saws, a bloody thing called the ‘container rollover’ and another thing called ‘north shore’. The pack continued on, while playing chicken with cyclists. Thankfully the pack made it all the way back without injury.

The Hare had food waiting. Having forgotten his pans to cook in, all he had to offer was cheese sandwiches!

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Run Report: 16 November - Hake Street, Kambah

Hare: Washed Out

Everyone was keen.

The Hare pointed and off went the pack, in dribs and drabs. It was noted early on, we were at the bottom of another bloody mountain. Sure enough, the trail went up, until up ran out. The H.V. on top was nice with its view of more mountains. Before anyone got any more ideas of mountains, the pack took off. The trail would only go down from here. The low strung power lines almost got us, but we would not be daunted.

Back at the tubs the Hare had cooked up a storm of sausages.

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Run Report: 23 November - Barbie Q's, corner of Halloran and Carolyn Jackson Drives, Jerrabomberra

Hare: Barbie Tools

The Hash gathered in Jerrabomberra. It had been a while, but it looked exactly the same. We were blessed with a visit from Ménages à trios, all the way from Queensland.

Telling us it was 8.5km to Beaver Park and back (remember Beaver Park?), the Hare pointed the way and off went the Pack. Through the pathways and alleyways went the trail. There was even a Cheeky Stop, who was standing out the front of her “FOR SALE” house. We think it was the house. After paying homage and genuflecting, the pack moved on. Twisting and turning we did eventually make it to Beaver Park. Not as moist as the last time. As promised the trail went back from there. We did a ‘Rocky’ re-enactment on the steps of the memorial and even stopped to take selfies. The trail had to go through the cemetery, of course, but we did make it back to the park.

Barbie’s reputation with a barbecue did not diminish. An outstanding affair of big sausage with big buns, multi-coloured cheese, sour cream and special sauce.

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Run Report: 30 November - Junction of Cobby & Ferdinand Streets, Campbell

Hare: Missing Bits

The Hash met at the bottom of another mountain.

“Don’t worry” the Hare said, “It doesn’t go all the way to the top.” Pointing out the start, off went the pack. The trail started off ok, we were actually running. Then we were climbing down steep rock faces, then heading up and up and up and up. There was a Hash Vista that was stunning and allowed us to catch our breath. And then we went up and up and up. The Hare told the truth, the run did not go all the way to the top. The top was at least 4 metres away. With the trail going down, the pack was off again. After more down, downs we made our way back to the tubs.

Food was magic mushrooms on toast, while the mozzies feasted on magic hashers.

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Run Report: 7 December – 9 Trenerry Place, Weston

Hare: Handover

The Hash met at Weston eager to AGPU.

The Hare pointed the way saying, “It’s the longest run I have ever set!” Off went the pack, eager to get back and start the festivities. What a gruelling run it was. I think it took us 20 minutes. We were greeted by the back of the outgoing OnSec’s car full of beer. There we held gathering and voted in the new Hashittee.

A fabulous night was had by all at the River Kwai. Heaps of food and heaps of beer, what more do you need?

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