It was Christmas Eve. Santa and his elves were running around their workshop, putting the finishing touching on various toys. Little children around the world were tucked in their beds, trying (and failing) to fall asleep. These details you've heard before. One person's left out of the classic Christmas story, though. Where was Mrs. Claus?
"Katey, how long does it take to craft a large Peppermint Mocha? There's no way the Starbucks’ employees are still working on that," The statuesque goddess of a grandmother called across her throne room. Mrs. Claus sat perched upon her glittering red throne that Christmas night. Her frosty white hair was cascading down her shoulders. She was wearing a stunning, long-sleeved red velvet gown, with strips of fluffy arctic fox skin at the edges. (This piece, titled Christmas Miracle, was a retro gown designed by the Coco Chanel. Mrs. Claus acquired it a couple of years ago, and was wearing it for the first time that day.)
Mrs. Claus' personal elf, Katey, responded swiftly. "Your Festivity, I have no doubt that the Peppermint Mocha has already been made. However, we've been over this before. The closest Starbucks is on another continent! It takes a little while to travel there."
"I knew Jordan should have taken the sleigh to pick up my mocha. I don't care if 'Santa will need the sleigh soon!' This mocha is a time sensitive matter. " Mrs. Claus rolled her eyes at no one in particular. Katey sighed, and scurried off to the gingerbread chambers for some snacks.
A few minutes later, Santa Claus came bumbling into her throne room. "Hello, my delicate snowflake! How's your night going?" He asked his wife sweetly.
If Mrs. Claus was acting harsh and cold earlier, her manner now was suddenly alike to a soft snow flurry. "Hello, cookie. It's been perfectly shimmery! How about you? Are my latest toy designs holding up well?" Her tone sharpened a little at this last sentence. Yes, that's right. Mrs. Claus was the head toy designer for Santa's workshop– and she always had been.
"Oh, they're doing perfectly shimmery as well, my dear." Santa chuckled warmly. "You really are such a creative soul... we received longer Christmas wish lists than ever this year! The children are really begging for these new toys this year."
"Perfect." Mrs. Claus smiled, her bright grin glittering almost as ferociously as the Christmas light's downtown where the elves lived. After a passionate farewell, Santa headed out of her throne room. It was time for him to go deliver presents to children all around the world!
This was Mrs.'s Claus's favorite part of Christmas– when the fun really got started. She slipped out of her throne, and strutted to the living room where she could sit in front of the fire and relax. "Katey, any updates on my Peppermint Mocha?" She asked the elf as they entered the room.
"Actually, yes! Jordan says that his ETA's just a few minutes away."
"Finally!" Mrs. Claus exclaimed in irritation. She paced about the workshop's kitchen, pulling newly baked goods out of dozens of ovens. Her gown remained perfectly clean. Just as she was coating some triple-chocolate cookies with powdered sugar, a spindly male elf stumbled into the room.
"Your Festivity, the large Peppermint Mocha! Here it is!" Jacob, the elf who had gone to get the beverage, stopped to catch his breath.
"Oh, it looks delicious." She snatched the mocha and took a sip. "Perfection!"
A little while later, an angelic chorus of bells rang out throughout the workshop. This was the building's doorbell. "Ooh, our guests must be arriving!" She jumped up, dashing to the vanity that had just materialized across the room. She reapplied her candy-red lipstick, and freshened her frost-bitten blush. Finally, Katey dusted a few glittering snowflakes over her. The party was about to begin.
Mrs. Claus strutted over to the front door. A small group of festively dressed immortal women entered, nearly as fabulous as herself. "Hello, Gertrude!" A woman named Holly greeted her friend. (And yes, Gertrude was Mrs. Claus.'s first name. It suited her at some point in her long life.) "Happy Christmas." Holly, a short, skinny woman wearing a dark green jumpsuit stepped forward. She had a smooth, posh European accent.
"That's Merry Christmas, Holly. Don't use that wretched language in front of me." Mrs. Claus responded. She was joking, but her tone was slightly too harsh. "Ooh, Carrie, don't you look fabulous! Give us a twirl."
Carrie, a surprisingly tan blonde woman, shrugged off her coat to reveal a stunning red and white dress. The skirt was relatively thin, but when she twirled, the dress unfurled to reveal a candy cane pattern. The fabric was almost as sparkly as her heels, which must have been half a foot tall. "Merry Christmas, Gertrude. I love your gown– Chanel, is it not?" Carrie complimented.
"You're correct! Oh, Gretel, step forward. I must get a look at that necklace." Gretel, a sweet, short woman walked up to Mrs. Claus, smiling faintly. Her mid-length silver party dress was covered in layers of different sequins. New shades seemed to unearth themselves by the second. Her silver necklace was simple and smooth. It was practically covered by her poofy pale brown hair, which sat comfortable on her shoulders.
"Merry Christmas, Gertrude. How are you?" Gretel asked. Instead of answering the question, Mrs. Claus grabbed the necklace and gently spun Gretel across the foyer. Although Gretel recovered her footing quickly, the moment was sudden and awkward.
"Oh, look at that dress! It's even glittery-er when twirling." Mrs. Claus twirled her perfect hair innocently.
"Yes, I suppose so. But Gertrude, please don't grab me without asking. That really caught me off guard." Gretel said coolly. This strange dynamic was not new. She had always been the underdog in Mrs. Claus's social circle, and it was no secret that Mrs. Claus loved the power she had over Gretel.
Two more women were a part of this small party. A woman of average height named Lacey was wearing a thin, deep blue dress that exploded into bright pink fabric at the knees. A short lady named Angel had on a glittery golden sweater with pastel blue pants and creamy white chunky high heels. She made a not-so-subtle entrance with her new haircut– a shimmery, pale gray bob with blunt yet swooping bangs. Only so much happens when you've been alive for centuries, so a new hairstyle was a pretty big deal in this friend group.
The six women meandered into the kitchen, where they sipped eggnog and chatted about the North Pole's latest gossip. A Christmas cookie bakery downtown was being sued for using the same Christmas Tree Cookie design as another Christmas cookie bakery.
"So, A Crumbly Christmas™ 's store owner, Jesse, said that the recipe was the grandma's, meaning that Caroler's Cookies™ might not even have the rights to the recipe!" Carrie whispered the scandalous news. Everyone gasped, taken aback by this information.
"Which cookie store is A Crumbly Christmas™ again– the good or the bad one?" Gretel asked.
"Oh, A Crumbly Christmas™ isn't involved in the scandal. That's just what Jesse told me." Carrie explained.
"Wait, now that I think about that– how many Christmas cookie bakeries do we have around here?" Lacey remarked. The group laughed, a twinkling, delicate sound. After chatting for a little while longer, Mrs. Claus led her friends to the living room. It was time for their annual Christmas Eve game of Holiday Charades!
You might think that it is foolish to play a game of Charades with only six people, but Mrs. Claus and her friends had mastered the game of Charades together. Every year, they organized into two teams. Mrs. Claus transferred teams halfway throughout the game, so everyone got to spend time with her. After that, they played Holiday Charades long into the night! The game was split into five rounds per team, totaling ten rounds altogether. Each round, each person on one team got to try a charade. The rounds had different themes. Some popular themes in the past include Trending Presents, Christmas Desserts, and Carols.
This year, Mrs. Claus put a twist on the game, though. "Ladies, I have an announcement." The women in the room turned to look at her. "This year, I will only play on one team throughout the entire game. I've decided who I want to spend this time with, and my decision is final." She announced, a chilly smile spreading across her face, expecting the obvious drama that was destined to ensue.
"Eghuhuhuhuahu... what?" A strange sound came out of Angel when she heard those words. "You're going to choose... us?"
"Well, I guess that's one way to say it. But, of course, I'm not choosing you for my team, Angel," Mrs. Claus responded casually, chuckling lightly. Angel's jaw dropped promptly, and she turned bright red, settling her self down on the red carpeted floor. The rest of the women tensed, clearly terrified by the scenario.
"My charades team will be with Lacey..." Mrs. Claus began. Lacey exhaled, grinning brightly. This was to be expected; Mrs. Claus had always been impressed by Lacey. Lacey was "cool", and that was akin to royalty in Mrs. Claus's eyes. "And with Gretel."
"Me?" Gretel was genuinely surprised. The women looked at each other, also confused. Why would Mrs. Claus choose Gretel to be on her team? It had become apparent over the years that Gretel's job was to be Mrs. Claus's clown. She was constantly embarrassed, and made Mrs. Claus feel better by failing. The two didn't exactly get along.
"Yes, you, Gretel. Why wouldn't I want you on my team?" Mrs. Claus smiled innocently.
"Well... okay, thanks for picking me." Gretel raised her eyebrows and walked over to stand with her teammates.
"Of course. Now, this means that Angel, Carrie, and Holly are on their own team. Alright, let's get started!"
Charades got off to a slow start. Angel, Carrie, and Holly's team was pretty offended at being left out by Mrs. Claus. They put their full effort into trying to destroy their opponents, but were so riled up that they were not playing very well. As for Mrs. Claus's team, they settled into a smooth pattern of Mrs. Claus and Lacey giggling together, and Gretel actually trying to win the game.
Around 10 p.m., Holly pranced up to the "stage", which was actually just the humongous fireplace. The category was Stocking Stuffers. Her item was two words long, and the first word was two syllables. When miming the first syllable, she kicked the floor, and then pointed the spot she had kicked.
"Is the word... kick? Foot? Agh Holly WHAT IS IT?!" Angel wrung her hands in panic.
Holly kicked the floor again, harder this time. "Ouch!" She exclaimed.
"Holly, you can't talk, remember?" Mrs. Claus rolled her eyes cruelly before laughing with Lacey. Angel glared at the two of them, holding her foot in pain. She limped across the stage, about to take a break to recover. Angel was not aware of this, however, and misunderstood the hobbling as part of Charades.
"What's she doing? Miming walking with a cane?..." Angel mumbled, watching Holly limp. Recognizing the opportunity, Holly looked up, nodding vigorously at the last word Angel had said. "What's that? Is the word walking? No? OH! CANE!"
"CANDY CANE!" Carrie chimed in.
"That's it!" Holly exclaimed, unapologetically ecstatic. The team jumped around, high-fiving merrily. Mrs. Claus's team scowled. It was now their turn to go up.
First, Gretel did a Charade for the category Christmas Carols. The Christmas carol was Silent Night, which isn't that hard to guess. However, her teammates feigned not understanding for a long time, simply to annoy her. When they finally guessed correctly, Mrs. Claus ruined the moment. "Gosh, Gretel, you really could have made that easier for Lacey and I to guess. Maybe just don't act so out-of-context when you're up there next time." The comment had two meanings, and they both stung.
Next, Mrs. Claus was up. Her category was Christmas Decorations. She smiled sweetly, skipping around the stage– slowly, of course, so as not to trip on her gown. Lacey shouted out a constant stream of idiotic guesses for what the charade was. "Candy? Butterfly? Heart? It's something sweet, I know it!"
"Maybe the word is–" Gretel started speaking, but was quickly interrupted.
"What is she performing?? Flowers! Sugar! Lollipops, ooh, that could be it!" Lacey continued, but none of her ideas were correct. Mrs. Claus continued dancing.
"What if it's– Oh My Christmas, Lacey, please let me speak!" Gretel snapped. The room got quiet. Lacey paused, sneering.
"Fine, whatever. I need a break from this game anyways; you're exhausting." Lacey rolled her eyes. If this comment hurt Gretel, she didn't let on.
"Thank you. Gertrude, would you mind doing your action again?" Gretel asked calmly. Mrs. Claus nodded, suppressing a smile as she watched Lacey grumble in the corner. She tossed her hair carefully before resuming her prancing.
"What could Gertrude be... ooh, how about the grinch!" Both teams gasped. Gretel's oddly festive insult lingered in the stunned quiet. Sure, Mrs. Claus got into arguments with people often, but never Gretel. Their feud was normally silent on one end, and it had been for centuries.
"The grinch isn't even a Christmas decoration..." Carrie said to herself, breaking the silence . She sounded personally offended by the comment Gretel had made. However, nobody responded to her. Mrs. Claus's charade had been paused since the insult, her eyes fixated on Gretel expectantly. She wanted to know what Gretel would say next. So, Gretel kept talking.
"Gertrude, I know you're the Queen of Christmas or something. You've got more power in this world than I could comprehend. But you've always acted like such a grinch; I can't stand it anymore!" She spoke faster at the end of this sentence, clearly emotional. "I used to look up to you, like everyone else does here. But all you do is seek more attention from others while you try to ruin things for them! I mean, your entire job is to make people beg for what you can give. Children need that sense that your toys are so out of reach, yet so necessary. But it's gone so far that you've intertwined it with your friendships with us. From what it looks like, you all," she gestured to the women around her, "Love fighting over her. You've gone to such great length's to get this old lady's attention. I don't want to speak for anyone else, but Gertrude...When you pull back from me and act so cruelly, I don't really want to be your friend anymore." At this last sentence, a hushed gasp rumbled among the group. Those words were harsh, and they may have been building up for centuries. Gretel had said what nobody else had the intuition and guts to point out.
"Get out." Mrs. Claus said sternly. This was an understandable response, but it felt somewhat unjust as Gretel silently left the living room. The group watched her walk out the door confidently. There was another awkward pause. Finally, Mrs. Claus attempted to break the silence. "Let's get back to charades!"
"No. I don't want to continue charades." Holly spoke up. "I hate to say it, but Gretel's kind of right. You've been in a mood lately, and by lately, I mean for hundreds of years. You're certainly powerful, Gertrude, but I don't even think I could call you charismatic anymore." Holly's eyes were shiny, on the brink of tears. "I don't think its worth the pain to spend time with you when you act like this." She took a deep breath, before finishing, "I'm going to go see how Gretel is doing."
Now, the only people left in that living room were Angel, Lacey, Carrie, and Mrs. Claus herself. Carrie impulsively assured Mrs. Claus, of course. "Hey, there is no way you're gonna listen to the two of them. You are, like, the coolest person I know."
"Oh shut up, Carrie. You're such a suck-up," Mrs. Claus glared at her friend. "I don't need your attention. I don't need you. You know what? You can get out too. Join them out there in the snow. I don't care." Her chin quivered.
Carrie looks absolutely shocked. She turned bright red and stomped out of the room, her magnificent platform heels clunking on the carpeted floor. Angel glanced at Lacey, who remained composed and unfazed. The three sat in silence for a couple minutes, not knowing how to move on. Suddenly, though, Mrs. Claus stood up. She strutted elegantly out of the workshop and into the snow.
Outside, snow was falling lightly from the pitch black sky. The colorful downtown was alight in the distance, and endlessly deep banks of snow covered the ground. Mrs. Claus' stunning red-velvet gown was instantly ruined, the snow soaking into the fabric and matting it down. Yet she walked on. She could see Gretel, Holly, and Carrie in the distance. They were sitting on a licorice bench under an orange gumdrop lamppost. The three of them had wet, glittery mascara smudged around their eyes. They didn't look upset, though. In fact, the three were laughing together. Mrs. Claus almost turned around at the sight of them, but walked up to the bench instead.
"Hi ladies. I wanted to talk to you," She said to her old friends shakily. Angel and Lacey ran up behind her, and she spun around. "Oh, good, you're here too. I should say this to everyone, actually." The group stood up in a semi-circle around her. Everyone was lined up: Holly, Carrie, Angel, Lacey, and even Gretel were ready to listen to whatever Mrs. Claus had to say.
"I'm sorry that I haven't treated you all very well over the past few centuries. Gretel's right. I've left people out, and often say things that are pretty bluntly hurtful. I've enjoyed taking all sorts of things from people, and that's not okay. It's really not in the spirit of Christmas, and I of all people should be able to understand that. It'll be hard, but I'm gonna try to change my behavior, and I hope you'll all forgive me." Mrs. Claus apolagized sincerly.
The snow continued falling softly, a tender shhhh humming in the air. Then, Gretel spoke. "Well, it's a good thing it's almost New Years, because you're right– you've got a lot of work to do. But I forgive you, Gertrude. Thank you so much."