Anger

Here you will learn all about anger and why we feel it.

Anger Management Techniques

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What is Anger?

Anger is an emotion that we have all felt. But how do we actually explain what it is?

It is not wrong to feel angry. Anger is like an unpleasant feeling of negativity, frustration and tension. This is often caused by feeling threatened, or high levels of worry, stress and anxiety. It's actually healthy to feel anger because it is a natural response to something that we feel is unfair. It's a bit like a warning alarm when things are not going to plan.

But there is a big difference between anger and aggression. Anger is an emotion, but aggression is a behaviour.

When is Anger a Problem?

Being aggressive is unhelpful and can get us into trouble
Aggression can make it hard for us to keep our friendships
Anger affects our concentration and ability to communicate properly
Anger can make feelings of anxiety or sadness worse, and affect our immune system.
If you become aggressive you can get into trouble at school, home or in your community

The Anger Iceberg

Anger is an easy emotion to recognise in ourselves and others. But often, the feeling of anger is just 'the tip of the iceberg'.

There could be other emotions hidden beneath the surface (called primary emotions). Anger is the secondary emotion that comes out - the 'tip of the iceberg'.

A person might express anger in order to mask emotions that cause them to feel vulnerable, such as hurt or shame.

They might not do this by choice; it just happens automatically.

Task: The Anger Iceberg

Read through the emotions below the surface of the anger iceberg (shown above). Think of a time when you felt angry. What other feelings might have been hidden under the reason you expressed the anger?

Learning to recognise our primary emotions is one of the first steps at being able to manage our anger. We have to name it to tame it!

So why is anger the 'biggest' emotion when there’s a whole other bunch of feelings going on underneath?

It is not wrong to feel angry. We know that anger is an unpleasant feeling of negativity, frustration and tension. This is often caused by feeling threatened, or high levels of worry, stress and anxiety.

It's actually healthy to feel anger because it is a natural response to something that we feel is unfair. It's a bit like a warning alarm when things are not going to plan.

Fight, Flight or Freeze

As human beings, we are born with the ability to sense danger. Therefore, when we perceive a threat, our body automatically responds. This is known as our Fight, Flight or Freeze response. Our bodies are preparing to respond in one of three ways to the (potential) danger we are about to face:

Fight

Our bodies have good blood circulation ready to attack the danger with our arms and legs, and our lungs are taking in plenty of oxygen to be able to breath through this fight.

Flight

Our bodies are prepared to run away (take flight) from the danger we face because of that increase of oxygen and our muscles are pumped.

Freeze

We don't fight or run away, because we are frozen in fear. We have to simply wait for the danger to pass.

If we feel angry a lot, then we will probably automatically react via the fight response. True, we might not physically fight someone every time we are angry, but our body makes the chemicals it needs to do so.

'Neuroscience' tells us when our brain thinks we are in danger it makes extra hormones to help. These hormones are Adrenaline and Cortisol.

Adrenaline

Makes our hearts beat faster
Makes our lungs breathe harder and faster
Sends more blood to our muscles, especially our arms and legs

Cortisol

Increasing our blood sugars so we have a lot of energy
Sends this energy to the circulatory system and the muscular system

Flipping Our Lid!

Sometimes we get so angry that we ‘flip our lid.’ ‘Flipping your lid,’ is an expression that means we have become so angry that we lose control of our actions…it’s like our heads have exploded!

What type of things cause you to flip your lid? Spend a moment thinking about some of the things. The more we learn about ourselves, the more we are able to manage ourselves.

Hand Model of the Brain

We can use the hand model of the brain to help us understand what is happening in our brain when we 'flip our lid.'

In the Hand-Brain Model, our thumb represents the part of our brain that handles our emotions. We can call this our 'Emotion Brain'.

Our fingers that close around our thumb is the part of our brain that is responsible for thinking and reasoning. We can call this our 'Thinking Brain.'

When something triggers us, our Emotion Brain gets overstimulated and cannot be contained by our Thinking Brain any more. In the example of the Hand-Brain Model, our thumb (emotion brain) causes our fingers (thinking brain) to flip open. In other words, we've flipped our lid!

When we've flipped our lid, we are no longer in control of our thinking and reasoning, our emotions have taken over.

Watch this video for more understanding on Flipping Our Lid:

The Cycle of Anger

The Cycle of Anger shows the different things going on when we get angry, including thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

Remember we can start anywhere in the anger cycle, and we might not experience all of them, or in the order shown.