The Squirrem
The Squirrem
The Woodland Mandate
The Squirrem
The Nutbound Territories
The Acorn Council
“The Nation of the Chosen Squirrel”
The Squirrem spans lush woodlands, towering ancient trees, and dense mossy undergrowth. It is a land that grows in every direction—upward into the canopy, outward through the groves, and downward into the winding root caverns beneath. The seasons are vivid and revered: every falling leaf is noted, every solstice celebrated.
Glades shift subtly over time as the forests reassert control. Squirrem towns are built into the trees, around massive trunks, or burrowed beneath root systems. Roads are mostly natural trails, marked by colorful moss, hanging shells, or squirrel-shaped carvings.
It is not a wild place—it is a watched one.
The Squirrem originated as a druidic commune, but evolved into a diverse society built around a single guiding belief: nature knows best. The people revere balance, whimsy, and humility, placing their trust not in rulers—but in the squirrels.
Yes, actual squirrels.
Every town has an honored squirrel who makes decisions on their behalf. Whether it's legal rulings or national law, the people of The Squirrem prepare acorns that represent each option. These are placed equally spaced in front of the squirrel. Whichever acorn the squirrel chooses determines the outcome. It is believed that this act connects the natural world with mortal law.
There is no supreme ruler—only the Nation Squirrel, whose decisions shape law on the national scale. All squirrels hold their positions for life, and are replaced through a special choosing process involving neighboring towns and certified squirrel breeders.
Most citizens take deep comfort in this system. It frees them from the crushing weight of political responsibility, and allows life to be lived more intuitively. A small minority advocate for a return to structured druidic rule—but their influence is minimal.
The Squirrem is not ruled so much as observed. Power flows through tradition, trust, and a kind of quiet reverence. The squirrel-based government is seen as both literal and symbolic—proof that not all decisions must be filtered through ambition and ego.
Squirrel-choosing festivals are among the most celebrated events in the land. They are not planned in advance, but occur suddenly when a new squirrel must be chosen. Entire towns transform overnight, preparing offerings, decorations, and performances to mark the event.
Certified squirrel breeders ensure fair training and testing, and are forbidden from influencing the acorn placements. Corruption is rare—and punished socially, not legally.
While chaotic to outsiders, the system works because the people believe in it. It’s not just governance—it’s faith by nature.
A vocal minority quietly questions whether the squirrels are being manipulated.
Some druids feel their authority has been replaced, and seek to return the land to their stewardship.
As divine influence grows, some squirrels have begun to act... strangely.
The national sport is Nutball, a chaotic and deeply strategic game where teams compete to score points before the squirrels become too aggressive. Yes, squirrels are part of the arena environment, and their behavior escalates over time. Players must avoid harming them at all costs—doing so results in an automatic forfeit.
The sport is both a physical and philosophical exercise in restraint, patience, and adaptability. It’s also hilarious.
Most other nations treat The Squirrem with cautious amusement. Their policies are unpredictable, but rarely hostile. Many underestimate them—and often regret doing so.
Tolerated:
Carnithal – The two nations share a love for absurdity-as-governance. They exchange performers, herbalists, and political cartoons.
Orvayn – Appreciates The Squirrem’s nontraditional structure and belief in freedom through oddity.
Allied or Friendly:
None officially. But The Squirrem often provides safe haven to those rejected by more structured nations. Their aid is usually quiet, natural, and hard to trace.
At Odds With:
Kaelvira – Views The Squirrem as soft and sentimental. The feeling is mutual—The Squirrem sees Kaelvira as needlessly cruel.
Drakhalm (The Pirates) – Piracy is seen as ecological and moral disruption. Known pirates are unwelcome, and ships linked to them are often denied entry to harbors.
Tarsendral – The silence of Tarsendral is seen as unnatural. The Squirrem finds their psychic boundaries invasive and uncomfortable.