YWC 2025 - Presley Shellhase

YWC 2025

Presley Shellhase

Presley Shellhase is an incoming junior for both the Lincoln Northeast High School and Arts and Humanities Focus Program slam poetry teams. She has placed second twice in the Lincoln all ages poetry slam. As well as going to the semi finals with the A&H slam team. A thrift store hates to see her coming and she lives in bandanas so religiously there is much speculation about the ongoings underneath. Presley participates in many extracurriculars including slam, marching band, pangea, DnD, and more. Much to the dismay of any friends who wish to hang out without booking two weeks in advance. This year is the first of several at the YWC.

A day without time

I woke up. Not to an alarm. But my favorite song was playing. I'm the first one awake. I remember to brush my teeth before I'm on my way out the door. Cause I'm not leaving. I have nowhere to be. I make myself breakfast. I eat my cereal one fruitloop at a time and watch some videos. I don't know how long they were or how long it took. But it doesn’t matter. I have time. My parents and sister are out of the house. My friends come over, and we do whatever we want for a long time. I don't know what we did, or for how long. But that's ok. We have time. It's lunch now. Not because it’s lunch time, it’s just lunch now. I pick at my food. Use the small fork, sip at my baja blast. We watch my favorite show. I don't know for how long, just until we were done. We have time. We hung out for a long while longer. I think we had dinner at some point. But it doesn’t matter. Either way, I'm full. We do nothing for a long time. For as long as it takes. Together. And when we’re done, everyone takes off. Not because it's time to go, we’re just done. My family comes home. And I take a moment to tell them I love them. And we hug forever. Or just a second. Until it was over. It's sunset now. Not because it's evening, it's just sunset. I sit on my roof and watch it for a while. Not until it sets, just, until I'm done. I stay awake, and just exist for a while. For as long as I want. As long as it takes. I have all the time in the world.

Common cold

My sweat against ice cold sheets

Tongue on a lightpole

I dare not move

I fear my skin would leave me behind

My stomach runs laps round my heart

Keeping pace with its unfamiliar beat

The tick of a clock with no hands

The click of a metronome with no song

My organs find themselves tangled

Strangling every artery at the slightest sign of struggle

The dying rat king

I try to pick a spot to focus on

My sight drifts off any given point

My ceiling taunts me

Haunts me

Hunts me

Swirling patterns of an off white ghost

He he plays shepard

Or butcher

Beaconing me to follow him

I will not let him

I've switched to manual

Every blink

Intentional

A strain on my limited energy

I finally let go

Allowing my lids to fall

Hot tears run down my cheeks

Into my ears

It drowns the noise

Not quiet

Just muddy

Time moves on.

The piercing brightness of my bedroom light

A reddish glow from beyond the curtain

A muffled sonnet grounding me

But it fades

As all things do

As I am in this moment

I am consumed

The uncanny darkness separates me from the nothing

It begins to become

I will not let it

I wait

I wait for the pain to start

Or stop

I wait for anything but this

Anything but this

A stubbed toe waiting for the ache

A star waiting to supernova

Teeth ground to dust

Ligaments tightened to tears

I bite my tongue

I dare not scream

It’s all I have left

My alarm sounds

She prays at the altar of my bedside table

Begging for a sign

She manifests my resurrection from within the grave

I will not let her

I will not hear her

I will not wake

To be awake is to be somewhere

Someone

I will not let it

THE LIQUID ™

Sitting on a light brown carpet. The mad scientists gather round to concoct the perfect monster. The perfect drink. The perfect amalgamation of the cursed nature of a middle school sleepover. It starts with the gigantic bottle of mountain dew you opened 6 hours ago. 3/4ths empty until forgotten. Be sure to let the carbonation escape so it becomes more of just a syrupy green goo. Very science. Next take the parmesan from the empty pizza boxes and not so carefully pour them into the mountain dew bottle. Be sure to spill at least half of it all over your bedroom carpet. You will notice at this point that it is 2:36 in the morning and the parmesan is slightly hydrophobic. This is normal. Pop in a few jolly ranchers one of your friends found in their overnight bag. As well as the leftover sugar from the air heads extremes you all shared. Cause you got half way to the gas station before realizing only one of you had a singular 5 dollar bill. Be sure to spill this on the carpet as well. Then just kind of throw a bunch of other stuff in there. Some koolaid, cereal, and other drinks that have been open for at least 4 hours. Just kind of anything you can find strown about the floor your mom begged you to vacuum 9 hours ago. Our first batch even included a full pizza crust. The ingenuity of sleep deprived overly caffeinated 7th grade afabs sitting on a bedroom floor is truly remarkable. Once you've added all of your ingredients and finished drawing on your sleeping friend's face, you can mix. Assuming you lost the cap, which you did, take your hand and place it over the opening. Shake thoroughly. Then set it on your desk and let it rest for as long as you forget about it. Likely until the next morning. And there you have it. THE LIQUID ™. The physical realization of the diabolical nature of a 5 person, closeted, highly chaotic, 7th grade sleepover. I love STEM!

I wish I was a worm

I wish I was a worm. I wish I could burrow into the ground. Hiding from the rising sun. The cool wet soil surrounding me in a tender embrace. I wish I was a worm. I wish I could break things down. Turn what was, into what will be. I wish I could create the solid in which I burrow. A home of my own making. I wish I was a worm. I wish I could split in two. Live in the multitude I expect of myself. Separate into two equal parts with no regard of which one was the original. Because they are both me. I wish I was a worm. Something for a child to discover wiggling on the sidewalk after a particularly stormy night. Something for someone to wonder at. Something to pick up, and hold, and protect, and comfort, and set free. I wish I was a worm. Something for someone to walk by, or step on. Something to dry up on the sun singed pavement. Something to turn to dust and join all that once was, and all that will be. I wish I was something. And it might as well be a worm.

Side Effect

Apple, popsicle, 2 cans of mountain dew, sleep. Apple, cheese stick, sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I have to eat something. I have to eat something. Soup. I like soup. But with each second the microwave counts down the hollow remains of my appetite withers away. The bowl spins circles round and round. Sickening me. Dizzying me. That may be the malnutrition. The kneeling pain of hunger gnaws at my organs. But her cries fall on deaf ears. I don't want to eat on an upset stomach. The microwave beeps. And I once again scrape the unworthy meal into the plastic lined mass grave of safe foods before him. I have to eat something. My parents are growing concerned. I can understand why. Their teenage daughter isn't eating. She isn’t eating. I'm trying. I know I'm hungry. But I don't know what hunger is anymore. It just hurts. She isn't finishing her plate. I'm so hungry. She’s refusing meals. I'm so hungry. I know she’s hungry, she hasn’t eaten a full meal in 3 days. I need to eat something. Something. Something. Sleep. I slept in. Far too long. Far too late to take my meds. I lay in bed. Defeated. Tired. Hungry. I feel hungry. I could go for some soup.

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