THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING NOTES

Dear Yappy Hour, 

There comes a time in every girl's life when everything stands at a standstill. You’re standing in your room, and it feels as if the world has conspired to render you invisible. Around you lies a battlefield of clothes—an overwhelming array of options, yet nothing to wear (we’ve all been there). The fabric is clinging to your skin in the most uncomfortable and unflattering of ways, and you find yourself in the suffocating embrace of your luteal phase, overstimulated and feeling Ugly with a capital U. Your makeup is scattered across the vanity, bathroom counter, and desk, taunting you and daring you to TRY and look more put together, more womanly. But alas, luteal phase: 1, you: 0. To make matters worse, you’re most trusted mascara - too faced better than sex - that you just applied, clumps messily on your freshly curled eyelashes, a small betrayal adding to the layers of disappointments. So you remove it. You were getting ready for a celebratory dinner with your parents to honor a promotion that never came. Instead, the promotion went to a less experienced male colleague, deemed “more suited” by those in power. The sting of this injustice burns deep, a reminder that we live in a patriarchy that perpetuates vertical segregation in the workforce, favoring men in positions of authority. 

You pause and breathe. You feel the weight of this moment - a moment collectively shared by the female sex - and you still. It's easy to get wrapped up in this dissonance that drowns out the good that came before it, easily believing that the universe is conniving against you. But moments pass, a small blip in the grand narrative of our existence. However, there is a strength to a collective moment shared by sisterhood. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone, and there is comfort in knowing what may come next. We all go through crucibles, but what a blessing it is to have the experiences of those that came before you as solid ground in which you can now stand. But you are frustrated, angry and sad and rightfully so. You cancel the dinner and wallow in self pity.

In your hour of wallowing, your mom texts you a message; “This too shall pass, I’ve been there”. You sit up straight with a clear and strong realization of what a waste of time this wallowing was.  As a newly viral saying goes,“You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you”. So why wallow in self pity when you can wallow in the experiences of the women who came before you? To revel in the lives of those who’ve walked the path you currently tread, who’ve braced the rough waters of womanhood before you, and who have faced the same plaguing contexts that determine our lives. That is why I compiled for you the best advice from the women in me and Noushka’s lives who have inspired us the most. I hope you use their wisdom as a lighthouse guiding you through those waters, propelling you forward and gifting you with the knowledge they wish they had as younger women starting their tread. Specifically, what they wish they knew in their 20s. After all, we are all woven into the fabric of the sisterhood of the traveling notes, passing on wisdom and strength to the sisters that will come after us, the ones that precede us, and even the ones who live parallel to us:

• “Make yourself a priority, don't take any shit from anyone, and prioritize self love. Then love yourself deeply, and understand that looks and sense of humor aren't the most important qualities in a partner. Love can be beautiful if you decide to make it so and ensure your own happiness. Choose wisely who you go out of your way for, and remember that time is precious, so manage it carefully and be selective about who you spend it with, and Baba was always right”.  - Dalia 

• “Don't feel pressured to do what your parents or society think is the "right thing" to do. Trust yourself and your decisions, and don't be scared of the future.” - Alya 

• “What people think of you doesn’t matter. Do whatever makes your heart happy because that’s what actually matters. Be open to change: don’t fear it, embrace it. Everything is energy; what you put out there is what you will receive. Find a job you are passionate about so it won’t feel like a job. Travel as much as you can and visit as many faraway places as possible. Don’t rush or hurry things; take your sweet time and be present in everything you do.” - Dina El W

• “Love and butterflies fade, but personality and compatibility endure. At 30, I'll have different interests, and at 40, even more so. Each decade brings new evolution” - Manal 

• “I wish I had known that what’s for me will come to me. If it doesn’t, then it was never mine. I wish I had known that worrying doesn’t fix anything; it only makes me ill and unable to enjoy every moment of being alive. But I couldn’t have known this because I had to go through everything I did to become who I am. So all of it is beautiful”. - Deana

• “Listen more than you talk, for wisdom often comes in silence. Laugh with everyone, but be mindful of where you place your trust. Remember, you always have a choice—always. And when you’re wrong, have the humility to apologize” - Dina El S

• “Do one thing every day that scares you and trust your gut along the way. Remember, you don’t have to fit in—embrace your uniqueness. Spend time getting to know and loving yourself, for that relationship is the foundation of everything else” - Karima

• “Have faith in yourself and trust your journey. Don’t look back in regret—learn from the past and keep moving forward. Be more accepting and tolerant, resisting the urge to judge too harshly. And above all, don’t take life too seriously; find joy in the little things along the way”. - Sherifa 

• “Believe in yourself and take more risks, trusting that you are capable of more than you know. Don’t be too harsh on yourself—show yourself the same kindness you offer others. And never let anyone have the power to affect your life more than you do” - Rawya 

• “What may seem like the end of the world today will soon pass—just give it time. Life is short, and everyone makes mistakes, so be more forgiving. True friends who have your back no matter what are rare; if you find even one or two you can call family, consider yourself lucky” - Nouna 

• “Invest in self-care, self-love, and healing early on—don't wait until your 30s to embrace health and wellness. Live fully in the present moment, with no expectations, and embrace your uniqueness—so what if you're different! Collect art and vintage treasures, trust your gut, and never let anyone distract you from your dreams. Make exercise a priority, and remember not to judge others, for you’ve never walked in their shoes. And most importantly, make the best out of every experience, because there is always a positive outcome waiting to be discovered” - Shewekar 

• “Nobody on earth loves you the way your mom does—trust her. Make mistakes, as you learn so much from fucking up royally. Play; you’re never too old to play. Embrace being real, because real is rare. Always listen to your gut instincts; they are the best guide. Remember, being the smartest, coolest, or prettiest doesn’t matter. Cry, laugh, and scream OUT LOUD. Regret is a waste of energy, so fight for what you believe in. Your parents will always have your back, no matter what. The darkest point is right before the sun comes out. Manifest, then work for it. You become what you believe, so dream big. Be honest, be true, and be the you-est you that you can be. Read the classics, over and over again. Remember, you always have a choice—to give up or to try again. Cherish your old friends; they are gold, even as you make new ones. Dance like nobody’s watching and remember that you are magic. Change is inevitable and beautiful, and nobody is perfect at life—we're all just learning. When faced with a crappy situation, take a moment to reflect before reacting. The present moment is incredibly special” - Amina

With love, 

Noushka, Malika and the women who exist in the context. 

By Malika Elshorbagy

Published August 19, 2024