I'm Jealous of People With Perfect Skin

Justin Pello

I am super jealous of people who have perfect skin. 

I started getting acne when I was sixteen years old. The most typical thing I heard was that all I had to do was wash my face. I forced my parents to buy me a Cerave Hydrating Cleanser with Cerave Daily Moisturizing Lotion. I continued this process for a whole year and nothing worked. 

One day, my sister came up to me mentioning a prescription acne medication which is offered over the counter called Differin Adapalene Gel. Typically, you are meant to only put a pea-sized amount on for your entire face. After reading the directions I was surprised. I probably used four pea-sized amounts for my whole face—which led to irritation to my skin leading me to visit a dermatologist. The symptoms were painful! I experienced redness and irritation and it was burning for two days straight. My dermatologist immediately recommended topical hydrocortisone which helped my skin heal up. 

A week later, I went back to the dermatologist asking about my acne issues. He prescribed me Tretinoin and I was using that for a good two years. While I was on Tretinoin, I upped the dosage every six months because it did not seem like it was working for me. And I was still using the Cerave products as well. 

Back in December of 2022, I went back to my dermatologist once again asking if I could do anything different since I was still getting acne. The acne was not necessarily bad, I just wanted to switch things up since I didn’t see any improvement whatsoever. He prescribed me a benzoyl peroxide adapalene mix formula. I was excited to try it because my high school best friend back home had success with it. However, after only two days of using the formula, I woke up in excruciating pain. Imagine the symptoms I got with the adapalene gel but five times worse. Yeah… it was not fun. I immediately went back to the dermatologist to get more topical hydrocortisone and my skin barrier finally recovered once again. 

I think we can understand the cycle here. Before starting my spring semester of college at Pitt, I asked my dermatologist for any recommendations and he told me to try the Differin Adapalene Gel once again. Weirdly enough, my acne started getting worse, so I scheduled another appointment during spring break. He recommended I go on a higher dosage of adapalene gel—but even that was not working. I was getting a little suspicious at this point but I went with it. My mindset was that he was the person who had to go to medical school and do all of this research, trust the man. 

While I was in college, a few people recommended isotretinoin, also known as Accutane, and they said they had so much success with it. It also didn’t seem too bad especially with them telling me that they only experienced dry skin and dry lips. I wanted to give it a shot so I convinced my dermatologist to let me go on Accutane, since none of his other recommendations were working. I know I was being super aggressive, but I gave this man too many tries. He prescribed me Accutane but failed to mention the important details about it. 

After being on it for about a week, I started to get the dry skin and lips I had heard about. A week later, I started to experience super bad joint pain and could feel myself becoming more depressed. All I had to do was just search “Accutane symptoms”, and I found a whole list. Possible Accutane symptoms include dry skin, dry lips, blurred vision, nosebleeds, acne purging,

headaches, joint and muscle pain, and mental health problems. Typically, not everyone experiences these symptoms—I just had the luck of being the guy to experience all of it. It was super hard for me to work out, but the most unfortunate symptom was how severely depressed I had become because of Accutane. I was super rude to my family, coworkers, and even customers working at my local McDonald’s. 

After over two months on Accutane, I randomly woke up with the biggest flair-up ever. Do you remember when I said the benzoyl peroxide adapalene formula was five times worse than the typical adapalene gel? Imagine that, but double. I saw myself in the mirror and immediately cried; I looked atrocious. I went to my mom and told her that I was no longer continuing the process. While I was in so much pain, I did some research on the dermatologist and realized that he had a two out of five-star rating. Apparently, this dermatologist was known for giving a lack of information and not even diagnosing the patients correctly. 

I immediately scheduled an appointment with a new dermatologist that was well-rated online. This new dermatologist gave me more natural ingredients to help my skin like sunflower oil, fish oil, and Cerave PM lotion. Even though it took a little over a week for my skin barrier to fully recover, I was happy that this dermatologist used more natural non-comedogenic products. He prescribed me doxycycline hyclate and niacinamide pills which are meant to be effective with the least amount of irritation. My acne, however, was still coming back. 

Even though these dermatologists went through a minimum of twelve years of training and education just to get to where they are—they do not know me personally. They can’t feel how my skin reacts to different things. So I did some research and reading about what's best for my oily, sensitive skin. 

I was able to get rid of my acne using Cerave Acne Foaming Cleanser and Differin Adapalene Gel. After getting rid of all of my acne, I had numerous dark and red spots from Accutane purging. Even now, they are not even close to being gone. I keep my high hopes with patience using things like Vichy Liftactiv Vitamin C Serum, Paula’s Choice Azelaic Acid, and Hero Cosmetics Rescue Balm. I still use the acne products and Cerave cleanser and moisturizer as well. 

Now that I finally understand how my skin works, it’s something I truly cherish. As a Chinese American growing up with a Chinese mother who believed in using incense on the full moon to elevate the spiritual connection between the full moon and my emotions, I never believed that wishing something could actually make it come true. I cried internally asking for help with my skin at this point. My skin eventually healed up, but I still personally do not believe in burning incense on the full moon. Yet, I truly feel great affection from my mother for making me do this every full moon. I think it is a good way to practice what you want in life and work for it no matter how long it takes. For half a decade, I was struggling with inflammatory acne. To finally say that it is gone, is so relieving. 

To anyone who is currently struggling with acne, I just want to say that you are not alone. It is a struggle and I am still to this day jealous of people who have perfect skin. The biggest advice I can give to you is to treat acne like getting your first pet. Do your own research and see what is best for you. Do you need to exfoliate? Do I have rough or smooth skin? Patience is key and I promise you, you will see progression. My heart goes out to all of you who are currently struggling with acne.

i'm jealous of people with perfect skin

Edited by Meagan Meyer