There Wasn't Time for More

I dreamt of a rainfall

like a fading heartbeat

softening to static

as the women who raised me

stood silently by

and the boys who made me

danced in the drive

And then you were there

hand laid heavy

"Sometimes, I look over your shoulder

just to see if they're okay."

And then there I was

words wearing down my heart

"I love you."

There wasn't time for more.

I'm sorry I didn't cry when you told us;

didn't cry at your funeral;

I'm sorry people made excuses for me;

they said I just grieve differently.

I pretended you away.

You must be in the garage.

You must be sipping coffee somewhere.

You must be watching Gunsmoke.

"Get the hell outta Dodge!"

I want to shout

How dare you?

You are not just not here right now.

You are not here now.

You are not here.

You are not.