Rekindled

  It was perhaps 5 p.m. by the time the last Ashford sibling stumbled through the cabin threshold. Kieran looked like a grumpy bear roused from hibernation, his brow furrowed and his cheeks flushed a bright pink from the cold. His hair was also soaking wet, as though he’d been caught in a snowstorm. Which, as it turned out, was exactly what had happened.

A blast of freezing winter air surged into the living room as he struggled with the door for a few moments, his  fingers fumbling comically with the lock. Once secured, he slumped against it, breathless, and began peeling off his scarf. 

Jude glanced up from his phone where he was lounging on the sofa.

“Well, well, well. The workaholic has finally decided to grace us with his presence,” Jude smirked, not hiding his amusement.

At that moment, Isolde appeared from the kitchen, her face alight with a bright smile. Without hesitation, she rushed over to Kieran and enveloped him in a tight hug. Jude stifled a laugh as he watched Kieran awkwardly pat his mother’s back, his frown the perfect contrast to her beaming face.

“Hello to you too, Jude,” Kieran shot a glare at him from across the room as Isolde pulled away from the embrace.

“Oh, enough, you two.” Isolde’s voice softened, but there was a little line between her brows. “It’s the holiday season and we’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves, not bickering like children. You’re both grown adults, so please, act like it.” She gave her apron a little tug, smoothing out the wrinkles before announcing that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes. Then, she disappeared back into the kitchen. 

Kieran hung his coat on the rack, his movements sluggish, as if every action took twice the effort. He then padded across the room with a yawn, and Jude noticed how truly exhausted he looked - even more so than the last time they’d seen each other. And really, who could blame him? The man ran three full-time businesses back home, and lately, it seemed the stress was getting to him.

“Where are Dad and Seraphina? Aren’t they here yet?” Kieran asked, plopping himself on the couch with an audible sigh.

Jude lifted a dark brow but didn’t look up from his phone. “They arrived yesterday afternoon with Mom.” He paused, glancing up. “I came this morning. But it seems out of all of us, you’re the only one who can’t seem to get away. Is it work? I can tell when someone’s been running on fumes.” He opened his mouth to answer, but the sudden ringing of his phone cut him off. Kieran’s expression immediately turned to annoyance, his jaw clenching as he rolled his eyes. Without another word, he walked out of the room to take the call.

A few minutes passed when Jude heard Seraphina’s light footsteps coming down the stairs. She was wearing an oversized jumper and black leggings fitted with her signature fuzzy penguin socks that she only wore for the holidays. 

“Did I imagine hearing Kieran come in?” She snickered to herself. “Dad held me hostage trying to fix the Wi-Fi, since apparently I’m the only one who can do it. So yeah, I’ve been stuck listening to his bad Christmas music all day... and my idle thoughts.” She grinned at Jude, the corner of her lips curling as she flopped into the armchair next to the fire. “On another note, how’s your day been?”

Jude let out a chuckle, stretching out his long legs across the sofa.

“Mom’s been nagging me to cook the turkey, to which I suggested I dress the tree instead.”

Seraphina smirked. “You’re so right for that. I know I wouldn’t want to deal with another walking, talking fire hazard running rampant in my kitchen, especially if it became a repeat of last year’s holidays.” She laughed, and Jude joined in, shaking his head in agreement.

Then without warning, his expression turned more serious - the smile from earlier fading a little as he shifted in his seat. “Speaking of... how’s Damian? Last time we spoke, you two were having a rough patch and you haven’t mentioned him since. Is everything okay?” 

Seraphina’s eyes briefly softened, but the hint of a frown tugged at the corners of her lips at the mention of her ex. She shrugged, looking away from her brother as her face closed off.

“I called in October to talk about him, but no one bothered to pick up. Though I guess it doesn’t really matter. I know we’re all too busy with our own lives, and I shouldn’t be surprised. No one has time for me anymore. But I won’t bring it up... my problems just ruin the holiday spirit.” Then more quietly, as though this were an afterthought, she muttered to herself, “When do they not?” just as Kieran walked back into the room and their mother called that dinner was ready.

-*-

The Ashfords settled around the massive wood table, the clink of silverware filling the air of the dining room. The spread was grand - roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce - all set out in abundance. Though it was the plump roast turkey at the center, almost unnervingly perfect, that sat like a king on its throne. 

“Wow, Mom, this looks incredible - just like every year!” Seraphina remarked, taking a generous bite of turkey. The rest of the table “mmd” in agreement as Isolde smiled with quiet pride.

“I’m glad you all feel this way, even if some-” She shot a look at her youngest, sitting at the opposite end “-of you decided they didn’t want to help me cook the turkey.” 

Jude looked like a deer caught in headlights, his fork suspended halfway to his mouth as his eyes darted around the table.

“In my defence, ‘Phina and I agreed that I’m a danger in the kitchen.” Isolde merely shrugged, casting a brief glance at her husband.

“So is Alistair, and you don’t see him making excuses.”

“Please, do not bring me into a conversation about cooking,” Alistair muttered, slightly disgruntled. At this, Isolde leaned into his side, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes and batted her eyelashes.

“You know I’d still love you, even if you burned my whole house down.” She cooed, planting a kiss on his cheek before returning to her meal as though she hadn’t just roasted her husband in front of the whole family. The kids all laughed at their parents’ banter until it slowly fizzled into a cold silence. Alistair broke the moment.

“Well, I suppose we should shift gears, then,” Alistair began, his tone changing to something more formal as he glanced around the table. “Kieran, how are the businesses doing? I heard you increased profits by five percent, is that true?” Kieran’s smile dropped immediately as he turned his eyes toward his father.

“The businesses are fine, Dad, no need to worry yourself. And yes, I increased profits. Though it was actually by seven percent, not five.” Alistair nodded, apparently pleased with Kieran’s answer.

“Good. I’ve been hearing good things about your expansion efforts too. How’s the new partnership looking? Is it paying off?”

Kieran's jaw tightened as he set his fork down, clearly getting annoyed.

“It’s going well,” he started slowly. “But there’s still a lot of work to be done.” Before he could continue, Isolde chimed in with a comment of her own.

“I have to say it’s impressive how well you’re doing. Very few manage as much success as you have in just one year. Judie, are you listening? This is very important - there’s much to be learned from your brother.” Kieran shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Jude’s eyes flicked to Isolde, then back to his plate. He said nothing, but his grip tightened around his fork.

“That’s an excellent point. Listen to your mother, Jude. If you just applied yourself a little more, you could be just as good.” 

Jude lowered his brows, grumbling: “That’s great” under his breath. Kieran and Seraphina glanced at him before sharing a look as Alistair continued nonchalantly.

“It’s not about talent, Jude. It’s about effort. Discipline. Kieran’s been working at this for years - he knows what it takes. You... don’t.”

Jude stood up abruptly, knocking his chair back with a loud scrape, his face flushed with irritation.

“Enough! You guys are always on me. I swear, it’s like I’m a kid again. You act like I’m invisible until it’s time to lecture me. I’m done with this.” With that, he stormed out of the room.

Everyone settled into a heavy silence after that. Seraphina’s gaze flicked from Jude’s empty chair to her parents, then to Kieran. The air felt thick, stifling.

She swallowed hard, her lips tightening. Same old thing, year after year. The family couldn’t help but praise Kieran’s success or criticize Jude’s failures - but their neglect stung every time.

“He’s right.” Her voice cut through the silence, sharp with resentment. The family turned to her, a hint of guilt spreading across their faces. “You keep praising the golden child and forgetting the rest even exist - unless of course it’s to bring up their faults. What’s new? It’s like we’re stuck having the same conversation play out year after year. The only thing that changes is the date.”

She stood suddenly, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. She shook her head, a hollow laugh escaping her lips. 

“You all keep doing this. You keep acting like you care about everyone, but the reality is, you don’t. All that matters is Kieran’s flashy success. God forbid any of us get to struggle. Like, when was the last time you bothered to ask about failures? When did you care enough to help us through those?”

Her hands were shaking as she gripped the edge of the table for support. “I called in October.” A pause as her voice dropped a beat. “Remember that? I needed to talk about what happened with Damian. I was a mess, but no one picked up the phone. Not one of you. But then, who cares? I’m the one who doesn’t have problems. I’m the one who gets over things. Who always handles everything. But you know what? I’m not okay.”

Her voice wavered, cracking as she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. A tear streaked down her cheek. “I needed someone to listen, but you were too busy fawning over Kieran’s business and his ability to ‘measure up.’” She paused, her chest rising and falling with the weight of it. “It’s always about him…” She whispered the last words, barely audible, before turning and walking out of the room. Kieran opened his mouth as though to say something, but thought better of it, hearing the front door click softly as it closed behind her - a sound that seemed to echo in the heavy silence left behind. 

-*-

The three remaining Ashfords were gathered around the fire, the warm glow flickering in the room and bringing light to the beautiful Christmas tree in the corner. It was adorned with red and gold ornaments, buttery pixie lights, and crowned with a bright star. The night should have felt peaceful, though the tension from earlier still lingered like the faint echo of a storm. 

 Isolde and Alistair sat together on the sofa, though it seemed there was still a slight distance between them. Kieran, meanwhile, was sprawled in an armchair across from them, his heavy gaze fixed on the flames with sorrow.

A slight creak at the door had them turning their heads. 

Jude and Seraphina stepped through the door, flushed and breathless from the nightly chill. They seemed more relaxed, their tension from dinner melting away like snowflakes in the warmth of the room. They also carried with them a quiet calm, a sense of stability that hadn’t been there just hours ago. 

Isolde was the first to speak, her voice low but sincere.

“Come sit with us - both of you. It’s… better if we’re all together.” She gave a small smile. “We need to just… talk.”

There was a pause in time, a shared glance between them as they considered her request. It wasn’t a refusal, more of a moment of hesitation as if the heat of the room might undo a kind of fragility they’d built between each other during their time outside. Then, with surety, the siblings moved toward the unoccupied chairs near the fire. Kieran’s gaze flicked to them briefly, but immediately returned to the dancing flames in the hearth.

Alistair initiated the conversation, his tone uncharacteristically gentle for once. 

“I know we’ve been through a lot tonight, and I think you’re all deserving of an apology.” He looked at his wife, becoming regretful. “We haven’t been the parents we should have been, not fully. And for that, we’re truly sorry.” Then Isolde, who had been looking out the window at the pale snow drifting through the dark, nodded softly.

“I know we’ve been really focused on Kieran, but we never meant to make any of you feel pressured to be perfect or even lesser than because of it. That’s our fault, and we’re deeply sorry to have caused you all so much pain.”

Seraphina spoke up from her seat next to Jude, her eyes fixed on her parents as she said: 

“It wasn’t just about success, though, was it? It’s always been about Kieran. Where he’s been the pride and joy of this family for so long, Jude and I were left to amount to his achievements from the moment we were born.”

Jude crossed his arms, leaning back in the chair as he considered Seraphina’s words.

“It’s not just that, though. It’s that we’ve never been enough. No matter how hard we try and no matter how hard we work, it’s never enough.” He took a deep breath. “It took me a long time to come to terms with that fact - that I’m not Kieran, and I never will be. This was hard for me to accept - but I think it was even harder to accept that you would never feel the same.” Jude’s eyes shone with unshed tears in the light of the fire and Seraphina squeezed his hand in support.

Across the room, a silent tear streaked down Isolde’s cheek at her son’s confession. Without thinking, she got up and embraced him tightly, planting a kiss to the top of his head.

“Jude…” She whispered. “You are enough. I need you to know that I’m happy you’re not Kieran, and I would never want you to be. You’ve all grown into such beautiful and unique individuals I can’t express how proud I am to be your mother.” With her eyes still brimming with emotion, she hugged Seraphina, squeezing her daughter so hard a snort-laugh bubbled out of her. At that, Isolde chuckled too.

Kieran, who had remained quiet through all of it, spoke now with a note of sadness filling his voice that none of them had heard in years.

“You know… I never wanted to be the center of attention. I never wanted everyone to rely on me, and I certainly never wanted to be perfect… You all expected me to be great to the point I would lie just to keep my flaws from showing.” He swallowed and looked away, as though the judgement would be too much to handle. “I just wanted to be seen as I am without all the pressures to achieve. And honestly? I used to think I was worthless if things didn’t go as I needed them to…” His admission brought another wave of hurt rippling through the room. And for the first time that night, Jude looked at Kieran with shared understanding.

“Sometimes, I don’t think anyone sees me at all,” Jude murmured.

Seraphina, her voice breaking slightly at the thought, added, “And when we do get acknowledged, it’s because we screwed up - as though we’re just here to be the lessons learned, the failures to be corrected.”

A new bout of tears was brought to Isolde’s face as she padded over to Kieran and hugged him as well - her actions a reflection of all the words she couldn’t express.

Alistair’s eyes too were filled with regret as he said:

“We never knew how much you were all struggling, and we should have paid more attention. As much as we talk about success, this is our biggest failure… From the bottom of our hearts, we’re so sorry for letting you down.” A beat passed in silence.

“The truth is,” began Seraphina, “We’ve all hurt each other. We’ve been doing this - acting like it’s all about what’s next, what’s to be achieved, when the reality is that that’s not everything. It’s never been everything.”

A comfortable quiet descended over the room, where watery smiles and gentle touches were exchanged - every Ashford feeling it at least once. After a long moment, Alistair stood and stretched, announcing he’d be back in a minute. The siblings exchanged looks, surprised at their father’s uncharacteristic decision to leave. It was a rare moment of him stepping away from his usual responsibilities, as though the warmth of the fire and their shared reconnection had softened something inside him.

Isolde smiled wide, her cheeks still wet from crying as she brought over a stack of thick, cozy blankets to the trio lounging in the corner. One after the other, she tossed them onto her kids’ heads as they in turn protested against her teasing from beneath the coverlets. She chuckled at their muffled groans as Alistair returned with a tray of hot chocolate. 

He had just finished placing it on the coffee table when Kieran, Seraphina, and Jude rushed for a seat on the couch. They settled close together, blankets draped over their laps as they sipped the hot cocoa.

Isolde and Alistair shared a knowing glance, watching as the three adults cuddled up the way they did when they were young. Following this, laughter broke out among the room - the kind that felt easy and unforced and brought people together. It wasn’t about success or failure anymore. It was about being there for each other, as a family. And for the first time in a long time, they were all exactly where they needed to be.