Where the Fuck is Tim?

Who the Fuck is Tim?

Ahoy!

I'm Tim, and I'm fucking tired of explaining how to find my goddamn house.

I had this house custom-built in a new development, on a street that kinda doesn't exist yet. Also there's a shitload of construction that unnecessarily blocks you from reaching my house by the obvious route. If you enter my address into Apple, or Bing Maps (lol, who uses Bing?), it may take you through some weird route which wouldn't work. So don't do that.

Where the Fuck is This Guy?

My address is 12307 NE 59th Ct Vancouver, WA, 98686, but if you can't find the place on the first attempt, read on.

My actual GPS coordinates are: 45°42'39.0"N 122°36'41.7"W.

Don't worry, you don't have to copy-and-paste that into your GPS; there's a Google map below. If you're on mobile, clicking View Larger Map (or clicking here) will open your Google Maps application so you can navigate straight to me. If you don't use Google Maps, then you're probably a dillhole, but I included directions for you below the map anyway. Peasant.

And since some people seem incapable of understanding or even using technology, here are some peasant-instructions for losers who just don't at technology.

If you're coming from the East

• Get to NE 72nd Ave and turn down NE 123rd St.
• NE 123rd will become NE 124th St, after which you should turn left onto NE 58th Ave.
• Then you take two quick lefts: First, onto NE 123rd St. (I know, you just turned down NE 123rd St. from NE 72nd earlier. It's fucking weird.) - Then pretty much immediately make another left onto NE 59th Ct. My house will then be at the end of that short road.

You can see a visual representation of these directions by following the red arrows on the map below.

If you're coming from the West

• Get to NE 50th Ave and turn down NE 134th St.
• Make (probably) the third right onto NE 57th Ave
• NE 57th will turn left as it ends, just follow it left.
• After NE 57th turns left, take your first right onto NE 58th Ave.
• Turn left as NE 58th terminates into NE 127th, followed by a near-immediate right onto NE 59th Ave.
• At the end of NE 59th Ave, turn right onto NE 124th
• Take your left onto NE 123rd St, then another immediate left onto NE 59th Ct.
• Catch your breath, cause you're here. I'm at the end of NE 59th Ct. Fuck, what an ordeal.

You can see a visual representation of these directions by following the blue arrows on the map below.

What the Fuck am I Looking For?

Here are some pictures of my house as you approach it, that should help you find the place.

Ignore the construction crap, these pictures were taken before the driveway was finished.