What are you wearing?

A thong.

Which Weener are you?

I'm Gene Ween.

Are you the one that Tyler sent a skateboard to?

Yes.

Are you the one that Tyler is in love with?

I don't know.

I think the answer is yes.

Oh, boy.

I think he hearts you.

Yeah, well, it was a nice skateboard.

So maybe you reciprocate the love?

All right, next question.

Have you ever made love to by a male art director before?

No, what is BIG BROTHER Magazine anyway?

It's a skateboard magazine with absolutely no point.

Okay.

On your second album, third song, two minutes in, there was a sound that went "GRR-ARGHH." How did you make that sound?

Second song, I don't know, what song is it?

I don't know. The second song.

I don't know what the second song is.

Well, I don't know either. I just made it up.

Oh, all right. I don't know what that is. Electricity, man.

How's it going through life having a pseudonym? Like, doesn't that joke get old after a while?

No, it's all right. It gets weird on tour, but at home it's not really anything.

What's your mom call you?

She calls me by my name.

Your real name or your code name?

My real name. That you don't even know.

Do you feel like you're like a member of GI Joe because you have a code name?

Yeah, it makes me feel like GI Joe.,

What's your favorite disease and/or plague?

I guess SARS, right? That would be the new one. Although it's not that exciting.

You're just into it because everyone else is into it. You're on the disease bandwagon.

Monkey pox or something? Something like that. Is that better?

Hey, remember that album you did that had the girl's tits on the cover?

Yeah.

That cover was awesome, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I liked it. Hey, are your last names the same because you guys are married?

No. Our last names aren't the same because we're married. That is so fucking retarded.

Do you ever wish you were the Butthole Surfers?

Ah, God. Um, I used to, yeah. The Buttholes were probably like 70% of the reason why Ween started in the first place.

Oh, well, I just wanted to let you know that you're not gonna be.

Yeah, you're right.

Did you ever chew on a Jew?

Yes. I have chewed on a Jew. I chewed on a Jew a few days ago.

What part?

Maybe her arm.

I knew it. I knew you were going to say arm. What did it taste like?

It tasted pretty fucking good.

Like chicken?

No, nothing.

Like nothing?

No, I think she was wearing a moisturizer.

Chicks are into that shit, huh?

I know, totally.

Why don't you guys use more wah-wah?

Why don't we use more wah-wah? Actually Mickey just got a really stupid wah-wah pedal, so we are using more wah-wah. It looks like a foot, like you're stepping on a foot.

Whoa, that's cool because you have to like use your foot to use it, right?

Totally, so it like fits your foot, so like you know where to put your foot.

Dude, that's cool.

Totally, and it makes you want to use more wah-wah.

Fuck, yeah, you guys are smart.

Yeah, I know. The developers of the shit, they're smart too. Thinking about like putting a foot on the wah-wah pedal, you know. It's like a foot.

Hey, you remember when you guys were going to do stuff for Pizza Hut?

Yeah.

Did you guys get any free pizza?

No. We got fired.

I know, but kinda like a little star in school, like know, just for a good effort?

Yeah, no

Nothing?

Nothing.

No bread sticks?

No, not even any cheese-stuffed bread sticks

Fuck Pizza Hut, man.

Oh, that's what I say.

Like they don't have extra pizzas?

Dude, they fucking suck.

Man, if I was Pizza Hut, I'd give you a pizza. I'd give you two pizzas. One for each of you guys.

Totally, totally. Me too.

This morning a publicist tried regulating telling me I can't interview her artist because don't know enough about them. So my question for you is, does it bother you that I really don't know anything about you and have never even heard one of your songs?

No, not at all.

That's what I'm fucking talking about, man. I don't need to know shit about shit.

I don't give a fucking flying ass motherfucking shit.

Exactly.

Bitch.

You know what?

What?

You don't know shit about me.

I don't know anything about you.

Yeah, like, fuck.

No, no, fuck it.

Dude, I could stab you, and you could die, and no one would even blame me because they'd be like, "Those guys don't even know each other."

I have no fucking idea. But you know I'm watching Court TV, so you never know,

You should watch Cop TV, that's the only way you're going to outsmart me.

Yeah, well, we'll see about that, buddy.

You better watch your ass, bitch.

Fucking fight. You better watch my fucking-oh, I won't even go into it.