"WEEN"

What is a ween?

It's a cross between wuss and teen.

Have you ever been to jail?

No. Never been to jail. Not once.

So are you Gene or Dean?

I'm Gene. I'm the singer.

Okay. Got it. Has Gene ever been to jail, Dean?

Dean's the other one. I'm Gene.

Okay.

I know. It's very confusing. No, neither of us has been to jail.

Cool.

Yeah, it is cool.

Have you ever been on stage and then all of a sudden had to take a crap?

No. No, but beforehand, it's always good. People disagree, but I think it's always good to have to kind of take a shit before you go on stage. Kind of keeps you up.

You can't play a good show unless you got a good turd in you.

Right.

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you guys on stage?

Well, actually, the beginning of this tour something really sucked. We were playing in Maine and there was this girl, she must have been on PCP or something, but she came up on stage and I thought she was going to kiss me on the cheek. Instead she starts screaming and then bit me as hard as she could on the cheek.

Shit. Did she draw blood?

No. she didn't puncture skin, but I had teeth marks for a couple weeks. And then our drummer got a bloody tampon thrown at him at the same show.

Not a good night.

No. It was spring time in Maine. People get a little pent up, I think.

Which one of you has the stinkier farts?

Uh, stinkier farts? Probably me.

Have you ever been ass fucking a pig and then pulled out a knife and started stabbing it in the back of the neck?

How'd you know that? How'd you know that happened? Who knew about that? I thought I kept that pretty private.

Do you think that Gene and Dean could beat up the Backstreet Boys?

No, probably not. I think we're too unhealthy. Probably get our asses kicked. Circle kicked by the Backstreet Boys. Of course we'd kick their ass. Treat them like the bitches they are.

If you had to have sex with another band out there, who would it be?

Uh.

Boy or girl band?

Right, right. Uh, shit. That's a tough one. Well, Prince. I always said I'd fuck Prince. I'm not gay, but I'd still sleep with Prince.

Do you smell bacon?

Do I smell bacon right now?

Yeah.

No. I'm like on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Hotel. It's pretty cool, actually. The very top floor.

Penthouse style?

It's not a penthouse, but it's fucking high up there. I can see everything, but there's no bacon up here.

What's Dean doing right now?

He's probably doing interviews too, actually. Yeah. Or he's in the shower

Slow jacking?

Yep.

Oh, here, my cat wants to say hi. Do you hear it?

No.