SO, I WALK INTO THE DRESSING ROOM, AND THERE THEY ARE OR, I SHOULD SAY, THERE DEAN IS, BECAUSE HE'S THE FIRST ONE I NOTICE. IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE UNDERWEAR ON HIS HEAD - IT WASN'T REALLY ANYTHING TO GET EXCITED ABOUT: THEY WERE YOUR BASIC GRAY MEN'S LONG JOHNS - BUT THEY MADE QUITE A TURBAN. (I THOUGHT THAT HIS HEAD WOULD SURELY FALL OFF THOUGH, TURBAN AND ALL, IF HE MOVED HIS HANDS AWAY FROM HIS FACE.) AND THEN THERE IS GENE, BESIDE HIM, INTENTLY WATCHING ME WHILE GRINNING LIKE A TWO-YEAR OLD WHO HAS JUST EATEN A PIECE OF CANDY WITH THE WRAPPER STILL ON IT INSTANTANEOUSLY, DEAN SPROUTS A NECK AND LOSES THE TURBAN, MATCHING GENE'S SHITEATING GRIN. HE SAYS "HI," I SAY "HI," GENE SAYS "HI"

"BUENAS TARDES, AMIGO."
SOMBREROS. THERE ARE TWO OF THEM ON THE FLOOR. "WE DESIGNED THEM FOR THE SHOW," SAYS GENE, TYING ONE ON. "WE DECIDED AT THE LAST MINUTE NOT TO USE THEM." "NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE MEXICAN RELATIONS," LAMENTS DEAN, NOW WEARING HIS AS WELL. "SOMEBODY GAVE THEM TO US," WHISPERS GENE, BEFORE WE'RE APPREHENDED BY MASSES OF AVID FANS. OH. THE BACKSTAGE DOOR IS OPEN AND UNGUARDED.

SACK LUNCHES. TWO OF THEM. (YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DECORATIONS ON THE BASS!) FOR DEAN, SMOKED TURKEY ON RYE - FOR STARTERS. AND THIS IS NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE OTHER FOOD LEFT IN THE DRESSING ROOM PRE-SHOW BY OTHER DEDICATED WEENHEADS, WHICH WAS ALL SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING MENTIONED. A BOX OF FRIED CHICKEN WITH A SPECIAL REQUEST WRITTEN ON IT. "NOT ONLY DID WE GET THE MESSAGE, BUT WE PLAYED THE SONG," POINTS OUT GENE, EATING. A BUCKET OF SPAGHETTI. "EXCELLENT, AND A LASAGNA, TOO." IT WAS A REAL BUFFET, I TELL YOU, AMONG SCATTERED, EMPTY VIALS OF GINSENG.

GINSENG. THEY'RE NOT DIE-HARD FANS ACCORDING TO DEAN: "IT HELPS OUT, YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK IT, BUT WE DO." AND WHY? "YOU SHOULDN'T: IT JUST DOESN'T DO YOU RIGHT." SO YOU'RE INTO THE HERBAL MEDICINE THING? "NO, NOT REALLY. WELL, IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT INTO IT - JUST DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT. OH.

"HOLA, MY GOOD FRIEND."
NEW HOPE SOLEBURY, 1984. MIDDLE SCHOOL. AARON FREEMAN AND MICKEY MELCHIONDO, 14 YEARS OLD IN MRS. SLACK'S TYPING CLASS. YEP, THEY WERE BOTH "JUST FREAKING OUT ON MUSIC ALL THE TIME." THEY TALKED AND FOOLED AROUND IN CLASS AND DECIDED THAT THEY WERE BOTH LISTENING TO A WHOLE LOT OF MUSIC AND REALLY INTO TAPE RECORDING. AND THEN THAT ONE FATEFUL DAY THEY TYPED UP A LIST OF TITLES - WHAT WAS TO BE THEIR FIRST SONG LIST. "IT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF NAMES AND THEN WE WENT HOME AND RECORDED. IT WAS THE FIRST THING WE EVER DID, WE JUST WENT AND FILLED IN ALL OF THE SONGS. IT WAS JUST A LOT OF FUN," TELLS GENE. "WE'RE SOUL BROTHERS," HE SAYS, "BROTHERS OF GOD."

BUT THOSE FIRST RECORDINGS ARE WHAT EVERY WEEN COLLECTOR WOULD DIE TO LAY HANDS ON. "REALLY, WE'VE JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT OF MUSIC. JUST TONS AND TONS OF THINGS THAT WE'VE RECORDED - SOMETHING LIKE THAT THAT YOU'LL NEVER HEAR - LIKE THAT. IT'S CALLED THE MRS. SLACK CASSETTE. YOU KNOW, OUR TEACHER'S NAME."

DOES SHE REALIZE - DOES SHE KNOW THAT THIS ALL EVOLVED IN HER CLASS?

"I THINK SHE DOES. I THINK SHE LIKES IT. SHE STILL WORKS THERE." APPARENTLY, SHE WAS PRETTY COOL - AS FAR AS TYPING TEACHERS GO. "I DON'T THINK SHE REALLY GAVE A SHIT IF YOU WANTED TO LEARN, LEARN. I DID LEARN HOW TO TYPE, THOUGH"

"CINCO DE MAYO'S ON TUESDAY."
SO, WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE? FIREMAN? ASTRONAUT? SURELY YOU DIDN'T SEE YOUR SELVES AS GENE AND DEAN WEEN. "NO," LAUGHS GENE, "I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW." (DEAN NODS IN AGREEMENT.) "BOTH MY PARENTS WERE REALLY INTO MUSIC. I GREW UP WITH PRETTY MUCH PROGRESSIVE ERA MUSIC, LIKE LATE 60S, EARLY 70S MUSIC. THEY WERE HIPPIES. I LISTENED TO A LOT OF DONOVAN - STUFF LIKE THAT. THERE ARE DONOVAN SONGS THAT I KNOW AND I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO - AND THEN I FIND OUT THAT IT WAS MY MOTHER'S FAVORITE SONG WHEN I WAS LIKE TWO YEARS OLD. I RETAIN MUSIC A LOT." AND THE FIRST RECORD HE BOUGHT WAS "SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER." "I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD." OF COURSE, HE WENT TO SEE THE MOVIE TOO.

"YOU KNOW," SAYS GENE, "I ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE AN ARCHITECT OR A PILOT. AND I WAS GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL TO DO THOSE THINGS, BUT YOU KNOW, WEEN WAS A REALLY BIG PART OF MY LIFE. ONCE WE GOT SIGNED TO OUR FIRST RECORD DEAL, I JUST KIND OF DECIDED TO HOLD OFF - AND GO FOR IT." AND THE REST IS HISTORY. FROM TWINTONE, TO SHIMMY DISC, TO ELEKTRA, THEY'RE WEEN, AND WHO COULD PIGEONHOLE THAT SOUND AND STYLE? "NO-TALENT STONER FUCK-UPS?" DON'T THINK SO. SO MAYBE THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY "VISIONARY MUSICAL GENIUSES," BUT NOBODY DOES IT LIKE WEEN. SAYS GENE, "I JUST COULDN'T PUT THE WEEN SOUND INTO AN IDEA. I THINK THAT WE JUST KIND OF LET OURSELVES DO WHAT WE WANT, BUT WE ALWAYS CONSCIOUSLY KNOW THAT IT'S STILL WEEN. I KNOW PEOPLE MIGHT SAY THAT WE SOUND LIKE THIS PERSON OR THAT PERSON, BUT IT'S NOT TRUE BECAUSE ONLY WE SOUND LIKE WE DO. IT WOULD BE HARD EVEN TO MAKE A RECORD THAT ALL SOUNDED THE SAME. IT WOULD BE JUST TORTURE. WE'VE NEVER BEEN INTO BANDS LIKE THAT, THOUGH WE'RE BOTH BIG MUSIC JUNKIES."

SO HE'S NOT REALLY LISTENING TO DONOVAN ANYMORE, BUT HE STILL HEARS IT IN HIS HEAD. SO IS THAT HOW YOU WRITE YOUR SONGS - SOMETHING WILL JUST START GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD AND THEN YOU TAKE IT FROM THERE? "YEAH, ACTUALLY. IN THE MORNING, WHEN I FIRST WAKE UP, USUALLY AROUND NINE OR TEN. THAT'S WHEN I WRITE MY SONGS. I DON'T KNOW WHY; IT'S JUST WHERE THEY ARE. OR BY MID AFTERNOON; I DON'T WRITE TOO MANY SONGS AT NIGHT. MORNING IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF DAY ... NOW I'VE JUST GOT BOYZ II MEN SONGS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD."

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. "BOYZ II MEN STILL KEEPIN' UP THE BEAT." "YEAH, WE'RE REALLY INTO BOYZ II MEN." BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THEY'RE REALLY INTO THE SNOOP DOGGER TOO - AND WARREN G AND DRE. WOW. AND PAVEMENT AND WEEZER, TOO - THAT BUDDY HOLLY SONG'S A FAVORITE. BUT IT'S THE BOYZ II MEN THAT REALLY SEEMS TO MAKE THE IMPRESSION: "I SAW THEM ON THE MUSIC AWARDS AND THEY WERE JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE - THEY WERE JUST LOVING IT TO DEATH, REACHING DOWN AND KISSING PEOPLE AND STUFF. IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY LIVE FOR PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD REALLY GET INTO IT. BEING WITHDRAWN AND ALL - SOMETIMES THAT CAN BE VERY COOL, BUT I'M MUCH MORE INTO THE SCHOOL OF ENTERTAINMENT WHERE YOU GO AND TRY TO ENTERTAIN EVERYBODY." AND THE WEENERS' LOVE OF LIVE SHOWS IS PRETTY APPARENT, WHICH IS COOL - EVEN IF IT DOESN'T SOUND MUCH LIKE ANY OF THE SONGS ON THE ALBUMS, IT AMAZES THEM THAT THEY CAN MAKE MONEY AND ATTRACT SO MUCH ATTENTION BY PLAYING LIVE, AND IT COMES AS A PLEASANT SURPRISE TO MANY FANS THAT THERE ACTUALLY ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE TOURING, NOT BECAUSE THE LABEL IS FORCING THEM TO, BUT BECAUSE THEY LOVE TO DO IT.

"AND I HOPED WE'D SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN."
SO 'DEANER' (AS HE IS SO FONDLY REFERRED TO) HAD BEEN PRETTY QUIET FOR A WHILE. HE DID PROMISE TO TELL ME SOME STORIES, BUT WHEN I ASK HIM TO TELL ME, SAY, ABOUT "SPINAL MENINGITIS," HE SIMPLY TAKES HIS HAND AND, WITH A POINTED FINGER, STARTS RUNNING IT DOWN MY SPINE. "HOW MUCH DO YOU LIKE YOUR SWEATER?" HE ASKS INSTEAD. MY SWEATER? "YEAH. ARE YOU REALLY ATTACHED TO IT - BECAUSE IF YOU ARE ... THIS IS THE ONLY SHIRT I WEAR, THE ONLY THING THAT I LIKE WHICH KEEPS ME WARM. BUT YOUR SWEATER." SO YOU WANT TO TRADE? "CAN I TRY IT ON? ... YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE, ARE YOU?" "YES, I HOPED WE'D SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN."