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Thinking about the past week
Thinking about the past week
did any of you forget
did any of you forget
where you put your phone?
where you put your phone?
Did you have a word stuck
Did you have a word stuck
on the tip of your tongue?
on the tip of your tongue?
You couldn't remember the name of an actor
You couldn't remember the name of an actor
or that movie
or that movie
a friend recommended.
a friend recommended.
Did you forget to take out the trash
Did you forget to take out the trash
or move the laundry
or move the laundry
from the washer to the dryer
from the washer to the dryer
or to pick up something
or to pick up something
from the grocery store
from the grocery store
you meant to buy?
you meant to buy?
What is going on here?
What is going on here?
Is your memory failing?
Is your memory failing?
It's not.
It's not.
It’s doing exactly
It’s doing exactly
what it's supposed to do?
what it's supposed to do?
For all its miraculous,
For all its miraculous,
necessary and pervasive presence
necessary and pervasive presence
in our lives
in our lives
memory is far from perfect.
memory is far from perfect.
Our brains are not designed
Our brains are not designed
to remember peoples’ names
to remember peoples’ names
to do something later
to do something later
or to catalogue everything we encounter.
or to catalogue everything we encounter.
These imperfections
These imperfections
are simply the factory settings.
are simply the factory settings.
Even in the smartest of heads
Even in the smartest of heads
memory is fallible.
memory is fallible.
A man
A man
famous for memorizing
famous for memorizing
over 100,000 digits of Pi
over 100,000 digits of Pi
can also forget his wife's birthday
can also forget his wife's birthday
or why he walked into the living room.
or why he walked into the living room.
Most of us
Most of us
will forget the majority
will forget the majority
of what we experienced today
of what we experienced today
by tomorrow.
by tomorrow.
Added up
Added up
this means
this means
we actually don't remember
we actually don't remember
most of our own lives.
most of our own lives.
Think about that.
Think about that.
So,
So,
what determines what we remember
what determines what we remember
and what we forget?
and what we forget?
Here are two examples
Here are two examples
of super common memory failures
of super common memory failures
and
and
why they are totally normal.
why they are totally normal.
Number one.
Number one.
Where did I put my phone
Where did I put my phone
my keys
my keys
my glasses
my glasses
my car?
my car?
The first necessary ingredient
The first necessary ingredient
in creating a memory
in creating a memory
that lasts longer than the present moment
that lasts longer than the present moment
is attention.
is attention.
Your memory is not a video camera
Your memory is not a video camera
recording a constant stream
recording a constant stream
of every sight and sound
of every sight and sound
you're exposed to.
you're exposed to.
You can only remember
You can only remember
what you pay attention to.
what you pay attention to.
Here's an example
Here's an example
that will probably feel familiar.
that will probably feel familiar.
I often drive
I often drive
from Boston to Cape Cod.
from Boston to Cape Cod.
About an hour into this trip
About an hour into this trip
I crossed the Sagamore Bridge
I crossed the Sagamore Bridge
a really big four lane
a really big four lane
cannot miss its structure.
cannot miss its structure.
And then
And then
about 10 miles and a mere 10 minutes later
about 10 miles and a mere 10 minutes later
I'll suddenly wonder.
I'll suddenly wonder.
Wait!
Wait!
Did I already go
Did I already go
over the bridge?
over the bridge?
I can't recall
I can't recall
going over the bridge
going over the bridge
because that memory
because that memory
was never created
was never created
in the first place.
in the first place.
It's not enough for my senses
It's not enough for my senses
to perceive information.
to perceive information.
My brain can't consolidate
My brain can't consolidate
any sensory information
any sensory information
into a lasting memory
into a lasting memory
without the neural input of attention.
without the neural input of attention.
So, because I've driven over that bridge
So, because I've driven over that bridge
countless times
countless times
and because I was probably lost in thought
and because I was probably lost in thought
or listening to an audio book
or listening to an audio book
so my attention pulled elsewhere.
so my attention pulled elsewhere.
The experience of driving over it
The experience of driving over it
slipped out of my brain
slipped out of my brain
within seconds
within seconds
gone without a trace.
gone without a trace.
The number one reason
The number one reason
for forgetting what someone said
for forgetting what someone said
the name of a person you just met
the name of a person you just met
where you parked your car
where you parked your car
and whether you already drove
and whether you already drove
over a really big bridge
over a really big bridge
is lack of attention.
is lack of attention.
N.2
N.2
Oh, what is his name?
Oh, what is his name?
One day
One day
I couldn't come up
I couldn't come up
with the name of the actor
with the name of the actor
who played Tony Soprano
who played Tony Soprano
in the HBO series. The Sopranos.
in the HBO series. The Sopranos.
I knew his name
I knew his name
was stored somewhere in my brain
was stored somewhere in my brain
and I could tell you
and I could tell you
all kinds of things about him
all kinds of things about him
but I could not produce his name.
but I could not produce his name.
I eventually gave up
I eventually gave up
and googled it.
and googled it.
Actor who played Tony soprano
Actor who played Tony soprano
James Gandolfini
James Gandolfini
yes, that's it.
yes, that's it.
Blocking on a word
Blocking on a word
also called tip of the tongue
also called tip of the tongue
is one of the most common experiences
is one of the most common experiences
of memory failure.
of memory failure.
You're trying to come up with the word
You're trying to come up with the word
most often a proper noun
most often a proper noun
but you cannot
but you cannot
for the life of you
for the life of you
retrieve it on demand.
retrieve it on demand.
Why does this happen?
Why does this happen?
Blocking on a word
Blocking on a word
can occur
can occur
when there's only partial
when there's only partial
or weak activation of the neurons
or weak activation of the neurons
that connect to the words
that connect to the words
you're looking for.
you're looking for.
We often come up
We often come up
with a loosely related word
with a loosely related word
instead.
instead.
Something similar in sound or meaning.
Something similar in sound or meaning.
These obliquely related words are
These obliquely related words are
rather unfortunately
rather unfortunately
called the ugly sister of the target.
called the ugly sister of the target.
And even more unfortunately
And even more unfortunately
zeroing in on an ugly sister
zeroing in on an ugly sister
will only make the situation worse.
will only make the situation worse.
These decoys
These decoys
lead your brain activity
lead your brain activity
down neural pathways
down neural pathways
that go to them
that go to them
and not to the word you're looking for.
and not to the word you're looking for.
So now
So now
when you try to retrieve the word question
when you try to retrieve the word question
all you can come up with
all you can come up with
is the ugly sister.
is the ugly sister.
Here's an example.
Here's an example.
I recently asked my boyfriend
I recently asked my boyfriend
what's the name of that famous surfer….
what's the name of that famous surfer….
Lance?
Lance?
No, it's not Lance.
No, it's not Lance.
He knew
He knew
who I was talking about
who I was talking about
but he couldn't come up with it either
but he couldn't come up with it either
We were both stopped.
We were both stopped.
It turns out
It turns out
my blurting out the wrong name
my blurting out the wrong name
sent my boyfriend's brain
sent my boyfriend's brain
to Lance Armstrong.
to Lance Armstrong.
The ugly sister.
The ugly sister.
Now
Now
he was stuck
he was stuck
in the wrong neural neighborhood
in the wrong neural neighborhood
and couldn't get out.
and couldn't get out.
The ugly sister
The ugly sister
also explains this phenomenon.
also explains this phenomenon.
Much later
Much later
once you've stopped trying to find the word
once you've stopped trying to find the word
it suddenly bubbles to the surface
it suddenly bubbles to the surface
seemingly out of nowhere.
seemingly out of nowhere.
Laird Hamilton
Laird Hamilton
yes that's it.
yes that's it.
Why does that happen?
Why does that happen?
By calling off the hunt
By calling off the hunt
your brain can stop perseverating
your brain can stop perseverating
on the ugly sister
on the ugly sister
giving the correct set of neurons
giving the correct set of neurons
a chance to be activated.
a chance to be activated.
Tip of the tongue
Tip of the tongue
especially blocking on a person's name
especially blocking on a person's name
is totally normal.
is totally normal.
25 year olds
25 year olds
can experience several tip of the tongue's a week
can experience several tip of the tongue's a week
but young people
but young people
don't sweat them.
don't sweat them.
in part because
in part because
old age memory loss
old age memory loss
and Alzheimer's
and Alzheimer's
are nowhere on their radars
are nowhere on their radars
and
and
unlike their parents
unlike their parents
they don't hesitate in outsourcing the job
they don't hesitate in outsourcing the job
to their smartphones.
to their smartphones.
Which brings me
Which brings me
to an important point.
to an important point.
Many of you are worried that
Many of you are worried that
if you use Google
if you use Google
to look up your blocked words
to look up your blocked words
then you're cheating
then you're cheating
and contributing to the problem
and contributing to the problem
weakening your memory.
weakening your memory.
You're worried that Google
You're worried that Google
is a high tech crunch
is a high tech crunch
that's going to give you
that's going to give you
digital amnesia.
digital amnesia.
This belief is misinformed.
This belief is misinformed.
Looking up the name of the actor
Looking up the name of the actor
who played Tony Soprano
who played Tony Soprano
doesn't weaken my memory’s ability
doesn't weaken my memory’s ability
whatsoever.
whatsoever.
Likewise
Likewise
suffering through the mental pain
suffering through the mental pain
and insisting on coming up with his name on my own
and insisting on coming up with his name on my own
doesn't make my memory stronger
doesn't make my memory stronger
or come with any trophies for doing so.
or come with any trophies for doing so.
You don't have to be a memory martyr.
You don't have to be a memory martyr.
Having a word stuck on the tip of your tongue
Having a word stuck on the tip of your tongue
is a totally normal glitch
is a totally normal glitch
in memory retrieval
in memory retrieval
a byproduct of how our brains are organized.
a byproduct of how our brains are organized.
You wear glasses
You wear glasses
if your eyes need help seeing.
if your eyes need help seeing.
You have my permission to use Google
You have my permission to use Google
if a word is stuck on the tip of your tongue.
if a word is stuck on the tip of your tongue.
Memory is amazing.
Memory is amazing.
It is essential for the functioning
It is essential for the functioning
of almost everything we do
of almost everything we do
but
but
it will also forget to call your mother
it will also forget to call your mother
where you put those glasses
where you put those glasses
and what you ate for lunch
and what you ate for lunch
last Tuesday.
last Tuesday.
Frustrating
Frustrating
but not a cause for diagnosis
but not a cause for diagnosis
panic or shame.
panic or shame.
Most of what we forget
Most of what we forget
it's just a normal part
it's just a normal part
of being human.
of being human.
Thank you.
Thank you.
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