I have never felt at a level where i could healthily hold a job. i fourced my- self into jobs that i (in a better system) shouldnt have had. i should have been given the hhelp i so desperately needed to better myself and health-fully grow to handle the stress. I am transgender. i have been raised in a family who doesnt accept that. i do not know if that family is reading this. if you are, bear, eden, dad, mom, anyone else, i am transgender. the reason i moved to the middle of nowhere for college is so that i could hopefully transition, as you have shown me your unacceptance and i felt this was the only way. i have not been able to yet transition, socially or medically. i am no stanger to forcing myself into the roles forcedd on me. i have forced myself into jobs i couldnt handle due to untreated and actively pushed, (bby the same people who supposedly loved me for who i am, ) mal-acceptance of my-self, the same way i forced myself to fulfil  boy-hood and preist-hood (religion) , i forced myself into the standard-ized """""human""""" role. what is my meaning in life? next page - >