The Instinctual Stacking

What Is Instinctual Stacking?

Instinctual Stacking is the hierarchical order in which your three Instinctual Drives; Self-Preservation (SP), Sexual (SX), and Social (SO), are prioritized within your personality structure. It represents the ego's interference, where psychological content imposes itself over the natural, balanced expression of our instincts.

We all have a sense that as we are, we’re not as we should be. The Instinctual Stacking helps to make us aware of where our attention is forced into rigid and constricting patterns that limit inner freedom without our knowing. These patterns amount to far more than influencing what we pay attention to; they enforce a habitual and mistaken sense of identity that is almost impossible to free ourselves of.

The stacking is an indication of precedence: one instinct is strongest in our personality (Dominant), one is weakest (Blindspot), and one is somewhat neutral (Secondary). This creates six possible stackings: SP/SX, SP/SO, SX/SP, SX/SO, SO/SP, SO/SX. The blindspot is dropped in abbreviation (e.g., SP/SX means Social is the blindspot).

The Three Positions in Your Stack

1. The Dominant Instinct

This is the instinct you unconsciously over-value. It is the motivating force of your personality and the centerpiece of your ego-identity.

• Role: The instinctual needs of the Dominant Instinct are the driving force of your egoic identity because they are given the most attention. You unconsciously believe they are the true keys to your survival, well-being, and happiness.

• Feeling: To neglect the needs of the Dominant feels like trying to kill yourself because you unconsciously view it as key to psychological survival. Its needs are non-negotiable.

• Identification: You become especially identified with the means of meeting this instinct's needs:

  • If SP Dominant: Identified with how you evaluate your well-being and the means by which you shape and sustain your lifestyle.

  • If SX Dominant: Identified with your “courtship display,” the means by which you foster attraction and elicit chemistry.

  • If SO Dominant: Identified with the means by which you are able to engage with or stay in relation to others.

2. The Blindspot Instinct

This is the instinct whose needs aren’t given adequate attention or are outright ignored. It is referred to as a “blindspot” because, without conscious effort, you are deeply handicapped in your ability to “see” much of its operation and the cost of your negligence.

• Role: The ego unconsciously views this depreciated instinct as somehow oppositional to or sucking energy away from the Dominant Instinct. It is treated as a diversion, and its needs are inadequately regulated at a major cost to your life.

• Feeling: You often have criticism toward others acting from this instinct and use their negative expressions as an excuse not to explore it in yourself. You may put off attending to its needs until there's urgency or catastrophe.

• Impact: Your neglect of the blindspot undermines your attempts to achieve your Dominant Instinct’s goals. You are cut off from one-third of how your life force wants to express itself.

3. The Secondary Instinct

This is the remaining instinct, left somewhat, but not entirely, free of major neuroses under normal circumstances. It often serves as a support and temporary relief from the Dominant.

• Role: It usually operates unencumbered by too much cognitive or emotional fuss. Concerns for your Secondary Instinct can be doorways for you to indirectly attend to the needs of the blindspot.

• Feeling: You are generally comfortable with two of its three needs, but typically neglect or find one of them off-putting, boring, or vague.

• Caution: People commonly mistake their Secondary Instinct for their Dominant because they may experience a strong craving for an unfulfilled Secondary need. However, the Dominant Instinct runs much deeper than a specific longing; it is always followed by action and shapes your entire life.

The Six Stackings & Their Core Fears

The ego maintains an artificial duality between the Dominant and Blindspot. A useful formula is: “If I (give attention to and express) my Blindspot Instinct, it will cause (the fear of my Dominant Instinct).”

Here are the six stackings, with the blindspot instinct being the one not listed:

1. SP/SX (Social Blind): If I express Social (by being too available and dispersed), it will create scarcity and harm by undermining my resources and foundations.

2. SP/SO (Sexual Blind): If I express Sexual (by being too provocative and unstable), it will create scarcity and harm by undermining my resources and foundations.

3. SX/SP (Social Blind): If I express Social (by being too available and dispersed), I won’t be attractive and will be sexually overlooked.

4. SX/SO (Self-Preservation Blind): If I express Self-Preservation (by being too stable and self-sufficient), I won’t be attractive and will be sexually overlooked.

5. SO/SX (Self-Preservation Blind): If I express Self-Preservation (by being too stable and self-sufficient), I will alienate others and be ostracized and abandoned.

6. SO/SP (Sexual Blind): If I express Sexual (by being too provocative and unstable), I will alienate others and be ostracized and abandoned.

How to Identify Your Stacking

Working with the instincts begins by seeing your unique relationships with all three. Start by observing your patterns of attention, fear, and neglect.

• Step 1: Identify Your Blindspot. This is often the easiest first step. Notice which instinct you routinely ignore, feel incompetent in, or criticize in others. Ask yourself: Which instinct’s needs feel like a burdensome diversion from what’s really important?

  • SP Blind Clues: Difficulty with practical self-care, finances, health routines. Views it as boring drudgery.

  • SX Blind Clues: Difficulty sensing chemistry, fears losing control, views it as dangerous/narcissistic.

  • SO Blind Clues: Difficulty reading social cues, finds social engagement taxing/vague, views it as small talk.

• Step 2: Identify Your Dominant Instinct. Look at the path your life has taken; it is almost always a lived expression of your Dominant Instinct. Ask: Which instinct’s needs feel non-negotiable? Where is the majority of my psychological energy and preoccupation invested? Which fear (scarcity, undesirability, ostracism) feels most central to my personality?

  • Important: The Dominant Instinct is characterized by action and life-shaping behavior, not just daydreams or longing.

• Step 3: The Remaining One is Secondary. Notice which of the three instincts feels relatively comfortable and functional, yet not all-consuming.

Remember: The stacking is very unconscious. We are often unaware of how much energy goes to the Dominant and how many boundaries we have around the Blindspot. This work requires suspending what you think you know about yourself, as if seeing yourself for the first time.

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