Truth doesn’t matter, and I only have to be right once?!
The truth doesn’t matter!
This is sometimes said, and it is true that the truth can cause problems, but honestly is almost always better than lying. Let’s consider this further.
The importance of the truth can depend on the setting or context. In a court of law, the truth is essential. The entire justice systems of democracies depend on the truth. Imagine life without the legal system and police. The truth can matter in a big way. Institutions such as churches or universities are dedicated to the truth in teaching and research. In interpersonal situations the truth may be momentarily uncomfortable, but it is better in the long run as in many divorce decisions.
If someone tells you that the truth doesn’t matter, be careful of their motivation. Could they be trying to hide or cover up something? Are they feeling guilty about something?
There are many reasons or situations where the truth is avoided.
1. One is to avoid admitting to wrongdoing; facing the consequences of our actions can be scary – but it is overall best particularly where amends are needed.
2. Lying to avoid conflict is not a good idea mainly because conflict is not always bad. It is clear to many that conflict is normal and even necessary for long range progress. Strategies for resolving conflict are in place. Much has been written to support this.
3. Loyalty can be a factor. “My friends right or wrong!” But maybe you can have another kind of loyalty where you tell the truth to others and offer help.
4. Lying to be kind can be another factor. But do you have to choose? Why not combine kindness and compassion with the truth. If the truth hurts, try helping to find a solution where the truth is accepted.
5. Sometimes the truth is avoided because it has never been heard before, or it can be unpleasant or inconvenient. These situations may need the truth the most.
6. The consequences of avoiding the truth may be very minor. But this is a slippery slope and if they are minor then why not tell the truth.
7. In a war, deception can be important to secure a victory. But doesn’t that show the importance of believing something to be true and acting on it.
Overall, it is best to tell the truth. In difficult situations, look for help. Maybe lawyers, religious leaders, friends, relatives, ethicists, psychologists or others can help.
Additional reading:
Kuhar, MJ, The Art and Ethics of Being a Good Colleague. 2nd Ed. Amazon, 2020.
https://ethicalleadership.nd.edu/news/be-honest-or-be-kind-do-you-really-have-to-choose/#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20if%20we%20think,backfire%20in%20its%20own%20way accessed on June 24, 2024.
I only need to be right once!
This has been said but is so obviously without merit that it doesn’t need much consideration.
Why would it be said? Maybe to give the sayer more credibility? If someone is right about this, then they claim that they are automatically right about that. But is that really true? A simple test of this reveals its error. Consider a math test – if you get one problem right is everything else automatically right? Obviously not.
Turn it around, apply the same questionable logic, and consider: if you are wrong once, then are you always wrong? Obviously not.
The above essay on the truth applies here.