Marriage and Divorce

Marriage Part 1

This Statement is drawn from Scripture as our ultimate authority. It sets forth a Christian vision of human sexuality as a good gift of God. It is a divine design for sexual expression within the commitment of marriage between a man and a woman.

Scripture grants two life-enhancing options for sexual behavior: monogamous (with one partner) marital relations between one man and one woman (Gen. 1:27-28; 2:18, 21-24; Matt. 19:4-6; Mk. 10:5-8; cf. Heb. 13:4) or sexual celibacy (not having sex with anyone) (1 Cor. 7:7; Matt. 19:12).

Marriage between a woman and a man is declared in Scripture to create a “one flesh” union (Gen. 2:23-24; Matt. 19:5), which in turn signifies the mystery of the union between Christ and His body, the Church (Eph. 5:22- 33). This means that the foundational understanding of marriage is as a covenant grounded in promises between a man and a woman which finds its divinely intended expression in the “one flesh” union of husband and wife, and between the “one flesh” union of husband and wife and God (cf. Prov. 2:16-17; Mal. 2:14; Eph. 5:31-32).

We regard marriage as a good creation of God, and marriage can only be recognized as between one man and one woman in the Church and it is witnessed by God Himself (Malachi 2:14). No one should divorce as it is hated by God (Malachi 2:16) and it leads to adultery. Marriage is also a covenant between the groom and the father of the bride, and in order for the father to give his blessing and the wedding to take place all debts must be settled beforehand. A union between a man and a woman that is not in the church nor performed by an ordained minister are not recognized as a biblical ceremony, resulting in adultery. Additionally, even if the elders of the church "lay hands" on the couple and bless them in their union, without the payment of the dowry, this is completely unbiblical and is not recognized in God's eyes as a marriage. Therefore, all parties involved; the bride, groom, and spiritual leaders to who have "blessed" this union could possibly all be guilty of adultery.

Other relationships that are unbiblical and not recognized are: Life-long partners, same sex (gay) marriage, cohabitating for a long period of time, and the like.

Marriages between muslims or other individuals who already have more than one wife at the time of their salvation are recognized and are not required to divorce or send away their wives. Positions of leadership within the church are restricted, however, as according to 1 Timothy 3, leaders are to be men of one wife.

Divorce

A man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her and forcefully makes his ex-wife and adulterer as well (Matt 5:31-32), except in cases of adultery, "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" ~ Jesus (Mark 10:2-12.). The same is true for wives; if she divorces her husband and marries another man she commits adultery. A man is bound to his wife, and a woman to her husband, until death (1 Cor 7:39). To remarry is to commit adultery. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty.

If a man or a woman has firmly decided to divorce because they cannot live with that person, then they are restricted from places of leadership, such as being a deacon, elder, pastor, bishop, etc. This time period is not forever, but for a minimum of two years. If after 2 years this person wishes to pursue a place of leadership within the church and/or ministry, they may submit a request for consideration.

Giving Daughters in Marriage

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [Satan]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? ...

Friends, you should never give your daughter away in marriage to an unbeliever and never even consider giving her to a muslim. This would be a horrible thing to do. You're own grandchildren would be raised in the mosque praying to Muhammad!

For further Bible Study, see our Keys to a Happier Marriage Bible Study

Marriage Part 2 (adapted from GotQuestions.org)

Question: "What biblical principles should be applied to a Christian marriage ceremony?"

Answer: Biblical principles can be applied to every area of life, including a Christian marriage ceremony. However, there is a difference between preparing for a marriage ceremony and preparing for marriage. Many people put far more effort and thought into the marriage ceremony than they do into the future marriage, and the divorce statistics reveal this sad truth. But, when Christians marry, every part of the ceremony and the resulting marriage can be guided by biblical principles. When those principles are honored and obeyed, not only is the ceremony meaningful, but the marriage is built upon a solid foundation.

Marriage ceremonies vary greatly from culture to culture. Christian marriage ceremonies can differ in style, length, expense, and elements and still be God-honoring. The elements a couple chooses to include in the ceremony are not of great significance. What matters more are the hearts of the bride and groom and their willingness to keep God at the center of their lives and family. As indicators of that commitment, Christian marriage ceremonies often include the following:

1) A brief, biblical sermon by the pastor performing the ceremony

2) An exchange of vows and rings between bride and groom

3) A prayer for the couple

4) Some type of symbolic act representing the union of two individuals. This may be the lighting of a unity candle, combining two colors of sand into a keepsake vase, or any other creative way the couple can express their oneness.

A Christian marriage ceremony may even incorporate an invitation for guests to respond to a salvation message.

The biblical principle that is most important in a Christian marriage ceremony is an understanding of what marriage is and how God views it. Our world treats marriage as one option among many for establishing a household, to be sustained only as long as both parties want it. Marriage has become as disposable as plastic-ware and is being bypassed many times in favor of non-married cohabitation. But cohabitation is sin according to Scripture and not to be considered an option for Christians (see Hebrews 13:4). An understanding of the purpose of marriage will help couples choose to honor God in their relationship and will also influence the ceremonies they design.

Marriage was God’s idea, and He established its definition and parameters. In the Garden of Eden, God created one woman (Eve) for one man (Adam), saying, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). He told them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:22), a command that can only be obeyed in a union of two different genders. Jesus reinforced this truth in the New Testament when He reminded those who questioned the permanence of marriage that “at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:6–9).

Several principles about marriage are clear from Scripture:

1. Marriage as God designed it is between one man and one woman for life (Genesis 2:18, 22).

2. Marriage is the combining of two distinct individuals into a new entity, a new family (Genesis 2:23–24).

3. Marriage is witnessed by God Himself as He makes two people one (Malachi 2:13–15).

4. Divorce was not an option in God’s original design (Matthew 19:7–10).

5. Marriage is a small glimpse of Christ’s intimate, loving relationship with His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:31–32).

When Christian couples keep these principles in mind, the ceremonies they design can be beautiful, meaningful, and God-honoring without going to great expense. The extravagance of the marriage ceremony has nothing to do with the strength of the resulting marriage. But, when biblical principles are applied to a Christian marriage ceremony, those principles follow the couple throughout their lives and provide a strong and lasting foundation for life.

They are the tragedies of divorce—bitter ex-spouses, broken promises, and confused children. Don’t let this happen to your family! Whether your marriage is going through tough times or is experiencing marital bliss—or even if you’re not yet married but are considering it—the Bible offers proven guidance to help your marriage last. It’s advice from God, the one who created and ordained marriage! If you’ve tried everything else, why not give Him a chance?

The Devil is cunning and wise, and he seeks to destroy all the good that God has done, most importantly, he wants to destroy mankind, our relationship to God, and our happiness. He doesn't do this by attacking church members, but he goes directly for the shepherd! Once the pastor is destroyed the sheep will run away. Don't let this happen to your church! Protect your marriage. Never give up. If your wife doesn't not want you to be in ministry anymore, then leave ministry. It's difficult, but it really is simple. Your first ministry is the relationship between you and God. The second is the relationship between you and your wife, and your children. The third is the church. Always choose your family over the church family. If you cannot manage your own house, then how can you manage God's?