REconstructing with Extra-Canonical Writings

Part One of Three

Often I’ve heard–and even felt like–I don’t wanna be a Christian anymore. Not because we had a strong desire to sin more, as often accused of, but because of “those accusers.” Christians can be so hurtful, hateful and hypocritical. Another reason many deconstructionists rightly point out is how there are too many contradictions in the Bible–the foundation of the faith–too many poorly translated or confusing parts in it. So how can one believe in any of it?

Those were my big reasons for saying I’m outta here.

But then I also realized it’s kinda like the claim, “I don’t like peonies, so I’m never setting foot in a garden or buying a bouquet ever again.” It wasn’t all of Christianity that I disliked. If there’s one flower you’re not crazy about, it shouldn’t keep you from the beauty of a hundred others that are out there. If it turns out that you’re more herbal than floral, that’s fine. It’s even okay if you wanna avoid plants altogether. There’s beauty to be found in trees and shrubs, wildlife and domesticated pets, mountains and lakes, clouds and blue skies, and yes, even in man-made environments.

Personally, I’m drawn to the metaphorical vegetation, that is, to spirituality. But some of it is outright ugly, has thorns that easily prick, decay quickly and reek. Some of it turns out to be toxic, and quite frankly, a whole lot of it out there is actually artificial.

Enough with the analogies, brother. Just get back to the point. Heard. 

My deconstruction drama came in two acts, as described in that first paragraph. The first was after several bouts of church trauma. Call me a glutton for punishment, a fool, whatever ya like. But the problem is I am just hardwired to seek spirituality. I was brought up within Christianity being told that it is the only truth, so there’s nowhere else to turn. So I kept going back, even after churches and its members caused me and my family serious harm. (Fill in the blank there as you like. There’s a hundred wicked ways this happens.) 

If I couldn’t find love, support, growth here or there, or there, or there in other churches, then I should just leave. So, I did. And I was angry with God, especially for being so silent through all of this. It was the first act of my deconstruction drama.

I don’t need to go into details here how I honestly did find love, support and growth in a few non-Christian spiritual traditions, because after a few years of walking that peaceful path, I felt I could bring some of it back with me if I could just find the right kind of church family. After all, living in the Bible Belt means that Christianity is pretty unavoidable, and “Christianese” is my native tongue. 

But it wasn’t very long before I discovered that Christianity had books that were left out of the Bible, and later mystics that wrote from within the tradition but offered alternative understandings to what I grew up being taught, too. 

So, I couldn’t really find any like minds locally, but online was a different story. There were several communities of this kind of seeker, from all over the world. And then the pandemic hit, and even more joined these online conversations.

Then came the second act: What can I hold on to?

The Bible, the contradictions, the confusion, the curation and even corruption of its earliest forms, and how easy it was to twist amidst current interpretations (like the voices from Christian Nationalism) became something that I couldn’t just ignore anymore. 

Well, my friend. I’m running outta space and time here to explain everything that went on after the intermission. But I can give ya a sneak peak of the next scene: It turns out if one goes back to its earliest forms, one finds there were other voices that were suppressed. The earliest followers weren’t following Christianity, but “Christianities” (plural). What we were told about heresies wasn’t the “false teachings,” but different takes and experiences of earlier followers of Jesus. The “One True Way” was a manipulation of manuscripts to control the narrative, yet there were other writings that told different stories. Stories that tell us more about Jesus and what he taught, and more about “The Way” from other wayfarers. Maybe something’s there I can hold on to…

See ya soon with Part Two!

Part Two >>>

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