“What Are You Doing?”
I am going to categorize this teaching as Practical Marriage advice.
The very first thing I want to talk to you about is Character.
Character is what defines you. It is what people see in you. Character is one of the most important things you will ever have in this life, and the one thing everyone will talk about after you pass!
One of the most important ways that your character is displayed, is reflected in how you serve your Spouse?
Colossians 3:12-15 – “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”
Now, listen to the same writing from the Message Bible:
“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness.”
Proverbs 28:6 – “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.”
A person’s character is the sum of all their thoughts, intentions, desires, and actions. Remember that character is gauged by general tendencies, not on the basis of a few isolated actions. We must look at someone’s whole life. For example, King David was a man of good character, although he sinned on occasion. And although King Ahab may have acted nobly once, he was still a man of overall bad character. Several people in the Bible are described as having noble character: Ruth (Ruth 3:11), David (Psalm 78:72), and Job (Job 2:3). These individuals’ lives were distinguished by persistent moral virtue.
I would certainly hope that the same could be said of us!
Now, we can develop Good, Godly Character by controlling our thoughts (Philippians 4:8), practicing Christian virtues (2 Peter 1:5-6), guarding our hearts (Proverbs 4:23; Matthew 15:18-20), and keeping good company (1 Corinthians 15:33). Men and women of character will set a good example for others to follow, and their Godly reputation will be evident to everyone (Titus 2:7-8), especially their lifelong companion!
So, with that in mind, I want to talk to you a minute about how important Your Signature is:
You're already familiar with how a signature works and what it is used for. A signature could be legally binding on a document, or maybe just an autograph by someone famous. Either way, it’s worth something, and it means something. But, when an athlete endorses a product, it’s like they are saying that they agree with that product, that they believe in that product, and even use that product themselves!
But, an endorsement and your signature represents the entirety of your character. Your reputation is literally on the line - the signature line. So, when the character of someone is found to be flawed, the companies involved usually drop the endorsements like a hot rock! They no longer want to be associated with that person. In fact, if you fake your signature, you can get in a lot of legal trouble. But we sign everything: Checks, Taxes, Medical forms, Legal agreements, Contracts; we even sign for purchases and credit card receipts.
So, why am I spending so much time on this tonight? I want to set you up tonight, and show you how you may have lost your signature, or at the very least, you may have mis-represented your signature, and thereby your character!
We should be mindful what we agree to: Just think of all the things you have heard about that were not true, that you had an opportunity to agree with! Things that may have impacted your decisions.
We’re running out of trees
We’re running out of water
We’re running out of oil & gas
The Earth is Over populated
Then there’s Al Qaeda coming after you . . . And ISIS
What about the Bird flu that was supposed to take over the world
What about the Swine flu
What about even Ebola
What about Viruses and Pandemics and Plagues
What about Premature death
You see, all these things bring fear, and Fear has torment. The Bible says in Psalm 91:5 “Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flies by day; Nor for the pestilence that walks in darkness; nor for the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come near you. There shall no evil befall you, neither shall any plague come near thy dwelling.”
Say this with me . . . .
“When others fall, I will stand. I can make it by the Word. God is the strength of my life. I will serve the Lord.”
The point I’m trying to make is that it’s important what you buy into and what you believe is true. It’s part of your character.
Now, I spoke to you a little over 4 years ago about something very important, and I want to refresh your memory again tonight!
Everyone is very familiar with the 3 little words that can make or break your relationship! - (I Love You) Right? But are you just as familiar with the 2 little words that will determine the Direction and Destination of your marriage? Two little words, that when left undone, can be your marriage demise! Those two little words are the equivalent to your marriage signature. Those words are: “I DO.” Little bitty words that have great big significance! Have you ever heard the little poem about the horseshoe nail?
“I Do” is a beginning, a start. But, it’s only the Tip of the Iceberg.
“I Do” is a covenant agreement
“I Do” is a signature to a Covenant with God
It’s an agreement to continue
It’s going “all in”
It gives up everything of it’s own, for the benefit of the other.
“I Do” is a great exchange
It is forever!
It is saying “yes” to God’s plan
It’s an agreement with God
One thing is for sure, you’ve got to keep saying “I Do” and you've got to keep doing “I Do!”
Now, this is about to get Very Important here!
Remember, it’s “I Do,” not “I Did”
I Did says it’s over.
I Will says it’s not here yet.
I Do says it’s happening right now, and it is “To Be Continued!”
You've got to keep doing I Do!
Little words control great destinies. AND, what you do about your “I Do” will control the direction and destiny of your marriage.
At this point, you may have lost your “I Do.”
Your “I Do” might need to be found, dusted off, and put back into service.
You may have an “I Do” problem.
You’ve heard of “I.D. Theft”, but maybe you have and “I Do” theft problem. If you were the victim of I.D. Theft, you would act immediately to fix it, restore it . . . you would move Heaven and Earth to get it right. How urgently will you pursue you “I Do” Theft?
You might have forgotten where you left your “I Do”, or maybe you even attempted to give someone else your “I Do.” Maybe you left your “I Do” someone who wasn’t your spouse.
You may not have seen your “I Do” in quite a while. Your spouse is certain that you misplaced it quite some time ago. And, Your spouse is the only one that can help you find it!
Your spouse is the only other human being on the planet deserving your complete Marriage Covenant “I Do.”
For many of you, you haven't used your “I Do” since your wedding ceremony!
But, “I Do” is a now word! An active word, a progressive word, a continuous word, a repetitive word, and a present word!
Remember, It’s "I Do”, not “I Did!” You have to keep saying I do after you said it the first time.
Now fasten your seatbelt, and follow along now!
You see, It should be I do, not I did!
The only thing you should have did, is “I do.”
When you did your “I do,” what is it that you did “I do” to?
Did you only did it, or did you do it?
When you did your “I do,” did you do it to be done?
Do you still “I do?” Or did you only I did?
The only right way to “do it” is to keep “I doing” it!
If you only keep diding it then you will soon be done!
If you only “I did”, and didn’t “I do,” you’ll soon be done!
You need to be done with your did and keep doing your do!
You see, your did is past, your do is present, and your doing is future!
So if you want to go backwards to the past, keep doing your did, but if you want to move on, you must make sure that your doing is never done!
Some of you think this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book for kids, but I'm telling you Paul, in the New Testament, said almost the same thing when he addressed man’s two natures, right here in the book of Romans. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. (Romans 7:15 KJV)
You see some of you don't even understand what you said “I do” to. Others of you may hate the fact that you said I do, back when you did. But now that you've done it, you don't want to undo what you did, because that would be the undoing of what you've done.
So day after day, year after year, you keep living with what you've done, back when you said “I do,” but you look at it as what you did, not what you're doing!
But if you would just change your I did, to an “I do,” you could undo what you did and start doing what you should do.
Got it?
So, how can you un-do what you’ve done, and get on to doing your Do?
It’s time to find it, and put it back in service full-time! You do have to have a license to use your “I Do”.
So Tonight, I'm going to ask you to focus on yourself . . . because therein lies the problem! You see, “I Do” starts with “I”. What you “I Do” is more important than what you do. If you start doing what needs to be done, and your spouse does too, that's a win-win!
But . . . If my spouse doesn’t start to “I Do,” what do “I Do?”
It doesn't matter! You said I do too!
You need to trust God - Have faith in God!
Allow God to do what He can do too!
As soon as YOU “I Do”, the “I Don’t” will stop, . . . because you are either doing, or not doing, or un-doing!
So, here are some ways you can continue to say “I Do.”
Here’s the How To for how you can do Your I Do!
Keep your love alive - Talk, Touch. If you spend more time talking to, and touching your mobile phone or your iPad, than you do your spouse, you might want to revise things.
Help one another - with things that mean a lot to them. If you can do something that you know will help and bless your spouse, you should do it.
Support one another - back each other up. Watch your words.
Be there for one another
Submit to one another
Talk to one another
Be intimate with one another
Give one another a break - Space
Trust your Spouse
Believe the best of your Spouse