Embedded Files
Doctor Who and his posse have arrived on an alien planet. This is no big deal for Doctor Who and Susan - they've been to loads of planets, and for them it's like going to a slightly different branch of Sainsbury's. For Ian and Barbara, though, this is all new and exciting - like going to a really good Sainsbury's that has a cafe and maybe a whole section for candles and plates and things.
Ian is staring in amazement at some twigs. "These are space twigs!" he's thinking. Barbara is trying to play it cool, to get in with Doctor Who and Susan. "Get a load of Ian, being freaked out by a twig!"
Soon Barbara gets caught by aliens! This is very exciting. Especially for the alien, who will be able to go back to it's mates and show off for the rest of the afternoon, and will get to wear a badge saying, "I caught a human."
The alien is called a Dalek. We can't see much of him now, but we can tell by Barbara's reaction that he's pretty cool bit of design. This is exactly the kind of reaction he was hoping for, and he probably spent all morning waggling about in front of the mirror practicing.
It doesn't take long until everyone else gets captured too. We can see the Daleks properly now, and it has to be said, they look awesome. They are waving their arms about in excitement and going, "Hello Doctor Who! It is us! The Amazing Daleks! Get a load of our arms - they've got suckers on them!"
Doctor Who pushes Susan into the Daleks, as if to suggest that maybe they'd like to have her as a sacrifice? She'd make an excellent victim for experiments, or maybe they'd like to marry her?
The look on Susan's face tells us that this is not the first time this has happened. It's less, "Oh no, the betrayal!" and more, "I apologise for my Grandfather's horrible sexism and cowardice."
The Daleks spend quite a lot of this story having meetings. In this one, they are discussing how fun it is to have visitors, and wondering how to keep them occupied. Board games are out, obviously.
They settle on 'Keeping everyone in a cell and watching them die of radiation poisoning." The two on the left are pretty thrilled about this, and are watching the humans on a screen, laughing and shouting, "This is ace."
The one on the right doesn't look as thrilled. He's thinking, "This is why no-one ever comes round more than once."
Doctor Who and company escape from their cell using a combination of science and extreme physical violence. Doctor Who is really laying into the Dalek, as if finally finding an outlet for years of frustration at malfunctioning printers. "Can you find the paper jam now? Can you? CAN YOU?"
The Dalek has given up pretty quickly and is looking pretty forlorn. He only came in to see what they wanted for dinner. Now he's covered in humans.
It turns out that Daleks have a little alien living inside them, and once you chuck that out, you can get in and have a play.
Ian looks a bit reluctant to be getting in, and it's not hard to work out why. The little alien-Dalek pretty much lived in the machine full time, so it's probably also a toilet, and likely full of crumbs, and maybe has disturbing little posters of sexy aliens all over the inside walls. It's also possible that this is the galactic equivalent of black-face, and Ian is about to commit a massive hate crime.
Doctor Who doesn't care about any of this, and is just ramming Ian's head into the machine. He'd do it himself but he's pretty sure you're not allowed to smoke inside a Dalek.
Everyone manages to escape back into the forest. They meet some more aliens, but these ones are better than the Daleks because they are super attractive. They're called Thals, and they hang out in the forest all day laughing and doing no work. The Daleks hate them, and it's not hard to see why.
Doctor Who has zeroed in on the youngest and prettiest one, and has instantly started to patronise her. "Your society is stupid! Have you invented roll up cigarettes by any chance?"
Ian tries to persuade the Thals to stop having fun in the forest, and instead go and murder all the Daleks.
The Thals have clearly spent quite a long time trying to explain to Ian that they don't want to do it, and are trying to find a simpler way to say, "The Daleks are made of spikes and guns, while we're dressed in pillows and armed with twigs."
Ian wins in the end, simply by shouting, "Do it!" louder and louder until he gets his way. The Thals are peace loving people, and were unprepared for this level of aggressive entitlement.
The plan to invade the Dalek city begins. It doesn't look like a very co-ordinated effort, though, does it?
The Lady Thal is trying quite hard to focus everyone on the map, with limited success. Doctor Who is shouting across her to the guy using the cool binoculars, saying, "Aren't my binoculars ace? I can get you some."
The binoculars are ace. The guy is staring at the rock in front of him, thinking, "The mountains look really big through these!"
Susan has lost interest in the whole thing, and is wondering if maybe she should go and side with the Daleks. They may composed entirely of hate, but she bets they don't faff around like this before a mission.
About ten minutes into the plan, Doctor Who and Susan get caught by the Daleks again. No cell for them this time - they were terrible guests on their last visit, and now they have to live on the floor.
This probably seemed like a good idea in principle, but I bet it's really inconvenient for the Daleks - they've put them right in the middle of their meeting room. They must keep bumping into the prisoners, and apologising, and then remembering that they shouldn't be apologising, and getting cross with themselves. They can't go back on it now, though - not after they made such a big fuss about it.
Ian has led a group into the Dalek city by doing a sneak through some caves. It did not go well. Several people died and also Ian's cardigan is ruined.
By the time they get to the city, everyone is in a pretty foul mood. This isn't helped when a load of other Thals meet them and say, "We just walked in through the door. Why didn't you come through the door?"
Ian is clearly thinking, "Yeah, that would have been better." Don't feel bad Ian. You were teaching O-Level Science two days ago, and now you've told everyone you can lead an attack on some alien robot things. It's going to be a learning curve.
It is to be hoped those Daleks behind them don't turn around, isn't it? That's going to be embarrassing for everyone. If it happens, I reckon they'll just go back to starting positions.
Doctor Who defeats the Daleks by... well, he doesn't really do a lot. Other people do, and he takes the credit, confident in the fact that he will live longer than them and can say what he wants.
Here we see him in final confrontation with the boss Dalek. Doctor Who is saying, "So you see - evil will never triumph!"
The Dalek is saying, "What evil? Who even are you? Why have all your friends murdered all my friends? "
He's got a point. Doctor Who hasn't really researched the political history of this conflict, and has just sided with the people with the prettiest hair. That's probably why he's looking shifty.
The story ends with the Daleks defeated. It is a great victory, but hard to appreciate when the final Dalek dies in such a ridiculous position. I reckon he's done it deliberately, so that anyone taking a selfie next to his dead body will look foolish.
The TARDIS crew go on their way, into time and space. The Thals will forever tell this story: the day some strangers turned up, blundered around assuming they knew better than people who'd lived here for years, and started a massive fight that left loads of people dead.
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