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"Corporate slaves struggling with their social life" is not what people immediately think of when Counter Guardians are mentioned
In a similar vein, "A multi-billion dollar enterprise with a budget of zero" wouldn't be a fitting description when thinking of the Counter force's army
The sad truth is that we live in a society, and therefore, both of the above is true
So what happen if you're humanity's will of survival? Did you really think that grand responsibility would exempt you from paying tax, getting abysmal salary, and having to work full time to cull the stupid mistakes made by human like a normal office lady?
Alaya certainly doesn't think so
Right now it wouldn't be weird if she were to be convicted of human resource abuse, tax fraud, pimping and comitting scam in place of child support for the past year. But that's what you have to do when your payment is overdue for three months
Unemployment is scary
Dignity be damned. She can't afford to be homeless and living off garbage on the street again
Alaya had had enough of the prostitutes and the junkies trying to sell her drugs as it is
"I was busy for a while. Sorry for the wait"
"It's nothing, chief. Have a good day"
Nodding to the receptionist, she continued onto the elevator. The device rang the familiar tune and soon opened its door to her.
The mirrors inside reflected a woman clad in traditional business suit, with a pair of metal-framed glasses donnned on her face and a suitcase clasped in her hand, giving passerby the impression of an authoritive woman. Overall, it is an appearance befitting her position as the collective consciousness of humanity
Alaya, Vice chief executive of the HR Department, could not help but feel stressed out on this particular morning
Feeling the surge of anticipation, she glanced at her watch
"Still thirty minutes until the general meeting"
The company seems quite busy today. Most of the lower personnel (Counter Guardians) have been sent on a joint task some few hours ago without prior notifications from the CEO. At least on her side, there has been none
Which, as a matter of fact, throw most of her schemes into the garbage bin
Alaya had planned to introduce (Y/n) to her little Counter Guardians, just to keep the place a bit more lively. Oh well...
Not that it would matter right now
Soon after the joint exercise, an Email arrived from Counterforce , asking for a quick meeting in the executive's [Discussion For the Future of Humanity] room
Said facility lies between the [Nuke Humanity Discussion Room] and [Humanity Extinction Scenario Testing Room], which is quite a strange placement considering their purpose. There already has been some incidents in the past where personnels would mistake the two and ended up erasing several countries off the map by mistake
But then again she has no reason to ask for the bizarre decision from her enigmatic boss, who completely controls her salary until the end of the month
A sigh escaped her lips
The corporate is short on staff, really. There's no other reason to send her here in the first place
Yes, she'll go with that excuse
Pushing the door open, Alaya was greeted with the sight of a large wide room, the interior of which includes a single desk in the middle of the room, and two opposing chairs situated behind it
One of the chair was already occupied by her boss
Hanging on it limply is the figure of a woman in her twenties. She has green colored hair cascading down her business attire, showing off a modest figure of average bust size and a sharp, narrow gaze that seems to be concentrating on the wall in front of her. She shifted a little at the sound of the door closing
Alaya stopped before her
"Ms. Alaya. Vice-CEO of Humanity Co. and chief executive from HR department in relation to Counter Guardians, reporting for business. I hope you're having a pleasant day"
"Can you be a bit less formal?"
"Wassup, my homie"
"I said less formal, not rude" Agitated eyes soon turned to her with a pair of pursed lips. The Counter Force herself must be on her period today "Take a seat"
"Thank you"
Saying that, Alaya took to the chair in front of her boss. That way they're both staring at each other, studying the other's expression for glimpses of something
Strangely, despite her bad mood, Counter Force is also seemingly...in a good mood?
"I just got fucked today"
Ah
"Hm"
"You don't seem so shocked"
"No, I was simply...surprised?" Alaya pondered to herself about the possibility of that occuring. What exactly happened?
Did the Counter Force found herself catching the h*rny and willingly submit to men's carnal desire?
Was it a metaphorical saying humanity often utilize to say something is out of their prediction range, and therefore was raising complaints about its unintended result?
No, the most important thing is, should she call the h*rny police?
"No need to call the h*rny police on me"
"Oh. But who is it that fucked you to such a sorry state?"
It's been somewhat 2 million years ever since the Counter Force was this angry, not after witnessing some Florida-lookalike man trying to take the goddess Tiamat on a walk across the sea
Or when Alaya accidentally spilled her coffee and ended up with the biblical Great Flood.
Her salary ended up dropping by 99% that month
Just like the Earth's population
"Hm...let's just say I pissed off the wrong person"
Okay, that's not so bad. WIth a little bit of negotiation--
"I sent all available Counter Guardians to him, and ended up erasing several multiverses in the process"
Oh
"That Magus still claims he is average after this. "
Averag- Oh
"As someone who have dealt with him before, how do you propose actually going around and make peace with the entity known as (Y/n) (L/n)?"
"Umm...I...took the initiative. If he's going to tell me to suck his dick, I'm just going to suck his dick before he could say so"
Oh god no. That came out wrong
"A strange analogy, but it makes sense in practice..."
Alaya slowly retreated from the deep in thought woman in front of her
Perhaps what Counter Force need right now is not consolation. Alaya know, from personal experience, that it would not be possible to reverse the psychological damage done to her once you've have taste of that man
She just need a little time to adapt to the anomaly, that's all. Yes, perhaps the problem is that she's not believing hard enough.
'I wish you the best of luck, Counter Force-san'
Ignoring the woman, she dashed out of the office. Alaya breathed out in relief, only to end up crashing into someone moments later
'Wha- Archer EMIYA?'
The red coat's fabric billowed from the impact. The Counter Guardian deftly catch both her boss and maneuver herself in time to catch her luggage midair, handing it to her moments later
"It's good to see you, miss. I wish you a bad day"
"The same. You look terrible"
"I do?"
Judging from the bags under her eyes, she was quite tired out. It was one of the few times where Archer had openly shown her vulnerability like this
What is she doing here?
Alaya looked Archer from top to bottom, inspecting her physique. She quickly connected the dot between recent events. With the recent surge of personnel death, as well as the failed culling of the multiverse....
"So, how was your meeting with that man?"
EMIYA's eyes lit up moments later
Her bright smile is all the answer she needded
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"Damn"
Damn
DAMN!
The sun shone down it's agonizing light on my back. Even though it's not even noon yet, I could feel the little bit of fat on my body is already in the process of melting into slimy blubber underneath my shirt
Not for the first time that day, I wondered if it'd be best to just be lazy and lie on the sidewalk and take some sleep
I totally forgot what I am suppose to do now
In retrospect, it is a decision made on the spot. Since I decided staying in Misaki would be a bad idea, I have immediately start packing up and left without a second thought.
No destination in mind, no unnecessary packages, just pure essentials and my familiars to accompany me
Only now did I started to regret the lack of planning. For, apparently, we had overlooked one very important matter
"We have nowhere to go" I groaned
Beside me, my familiar nodded at this assessment
Not only did we not have a destination in mind, I could not for the life of me choose somewhere to settle down for the time being. I'm quite indecisive when it comes to selecting things
Bread or burgers. Monster waifu or horror waifu. Sex Experience or Golden Pistol. Every time I pick a side, it would feel like neglecting the other
Amidst the conflicting choices, I chose to sit on the local bench park. My familiars's hovered around me like guardian spirits as they peer at me
"He seems pretty conflicted"
"How can someone with the power to erase infinite dimensions at will be so...I don't know...mundane"?
Pluto seems disconceted
"Master, it would be best if we were to slow down and take a look at the available choices. We can determine how we'll get there later" TYPE-Neptune suggested.
"..."
Letting out a sight, I rifled through my backpack and pull out a map. With a flick of my wrist, I unfolded them and rolled the parchment across my lap
"Now, there are 47 prefectures in total around Japan. Our destination, as discussed before, roughly boils down to these choices"
I pointed to the areas circled with a red marker. Most of them lies in Southern Japan
"I let you guys choose this yourself after giving a brief descriptions about them. Maybe we can all discuss where we are heading next"
A hand shot up
"Yes?"
"Are we going to bring little sister Mercury with us?"
"Um" I opened my mouth "...That. Since she is busy training someone in Fuyuki for the time being, you'll have to wait for several years before she can join us"
"So that means we can visit her in Fuyuki, right?"
"That would be a good idea" I nodded along to her suggestion
Maybe I'll take the chance to send Sakura and Rin some training resources.
Those two are now most likely trying to manipulate their affinity's concept. Once they awaken their Origin, they would step into a new level of Magecraft. That will be when they'll start their independent path of research
One thing is for sure, they'll grow up faster than their Canon counterpart at the rate they're going
Smiling to myself, I decided that indeed, we can take a short route to visit them before we depart
The other TYPE's have begun discussing among themselves while I was reminiscening
"Now for the destination. Since Master would be accustomed to Misaki's climate, I nominate Kyushu as out next go-to!"
Boo's came from the other girl
"Kyushu's too boring!"
"Do you have a better suggestion?"
"Hokkaido. Or Okinawa. Master needs somewhere more exciting where he can also relax"
"Talking about exciting, there's Akihabara"
"Fucking weeb..."
"What was that, you little shit?!"
"Um. Maybe we can all agree Kyoto is the ideal choice here..."
It felt as though they are children planning a vacation with their father. I almost felt their giddy excitement spreading to where I was sitting
"Ooh, we can visit Chiba, or Ibaraki, that or Shizuoka or Yanamashi or Kanagawa- N-not that I am stating my desire of course"
I sweatdropped and coughed to get their attention
The surrounding quieted down as many curious gazes fell on me
"It's very nice of you to decide somewhere based on my preferences, but since this is not exactly permanent, you can just speak your own version of the ideal home. Our abundance of money means we can always move later"
"Ohh, really, is that so?" Jupiter clasped her hand and smiled widely "Can we consider this a long-term holiday plan, Master?"
A nod to confirm her question sent the Ultimate One squealing over the moon
"Roppongi! Definitely Ropppongi!"
"...Aren't you just happily harping about Kyoto back there?...Nevermind"
"Hiroshima!"
"Roppongi!"
"Nagasaki!"
"Roppongi!"
"Texas!"
"Fuck yeah!"
Over all, I can understand her enthusiasm. Roppongi is quite the popular district when it comes to entertainment and the likes. Bars, prostitution networks, yakuza business. It seems like an interesting place when it comes to someone who is a little sociable like her
"How about Shinjuku?"
The familiars fell silent at Pluto's remark. As they exchanged bewildered looks, I tilted my head
"Shinjuku, huh?"
"Yes. Specifically the Kabukicho district" Pluto clapped her hand "I've researched it about it on the tourism guide. Apparently they're quite exciting at night, and the outer place are all normal settlement we can rent"
"But I heard it's quite the dangerous destination to tourists who don't know their stuff"
I silently pondered about it. Certainly, the place can be dangerous at night, but is it anythere near the other options?
Tokyo currently is running amok with magical Ghouls, so there's no chance I'm coming there. Similarly, Kyoto is packed full to the brim with stray Yokai who'd definitely track me down if they catch a whiff of my mana
Those two places can only be trouble for permanently settling down
"That's a valid suggestion. We'll go to Shinjuku for the time being"
Saturn smiled and nodded, not really disliking the idea
"Yeah. it's a good starting place"
"I can get behind it"
I cross the spot where said location lies with my marker. Folding the map shut, I stood up with the luggage in my hand. The familiars gathered and followed behind my footstep
Now that I have already achieved being average, would it be better to focus on another goal?
As I've set to forbid myself from using the likes of Magic, Magecraft, superior strength or any of my infinite repetoir of world-ending abilities, the things I do can be quite limited. That means I'll have time to joy in more mundane things in life
(Y/n)'s list of things to do for the summer vacation
1. Travel around the world
2. Get a girlfriend
3. Eat at a buffet
4. Have sauna bath
5. Pet a dragon
6. Introduce the Pope to Hentai
7. Become the king of Florida
8. Revive Jesus and Buddha for PvP
9. Host a fighting tournament on the Moon Cell
....
100. Die
Yup, priorities are in order.
"Come on, Master. The bus is getting near!"
With a smile on his face, (Y/n) (L/n) walked forward, where a second life is awaiting him
Goodbye Misaki town. Goodbye Ciel. Goodbye the place where he'd spent a year living in, where he had made countless memories, both bad and not-so-bad, of the magical world
An opportunity is here, and he's going to take it. It's time to move on with the next stage of life
<><><><><><><>
Usually, being murdered is bad for your health
It was not even a joke. Statistic has proven that 99.99(99)% of people who are killed ended up dying shortly after
This proves that dying is dangerous, and so you should not get killed in order to avoid getting in danger
But wait
What about the 0.00(00)1% who are killed but doesn't die?! You might say, exclaiming in shock at the absurdity of the number while wondering just what the hell kind of drugs this guy is on for him to achieve such astronomical level of calculation
I'm not going to answer that question
What I'm going to answer is how the fuck this window has suddenly appear in front of me
By selecting [Shinjuku], Host has activated a new event: [Phantom Territory]
Title: [Average]'s effect has been activated
As start of 2nd Phrase, Host's access to Magic and Magecraft has been willingly suppressed. Only base skills are allowed
Countdown: 1 year / 27 days / 5 hours / 34 minutes
Reward: ________________
Now what manner of bullcrap is this?
Looking around, I quickly spotted one thing. Seeing as no one could see this, it means the window in front of me is only visible to a select few people
I am average
Therefore, an average man would not see anything in frotn of me but thin air
Therefore, the system is a lie, and therefore this bullshit is only a construct made in my delusion. In reality nothing would happen, and I would go on with my merry way with nothing to hinder my progress
I closed my eyes and ignored the window
Sleep, as always, came easily to me
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Damn, the new Fate/Stay Night remake look sick. Can't wait for Gilgamesh route
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