WWC CROSSOVER | Misfits and Magic

Written by Zenith

It's SALT game night once again, and this time a rather meticulous and cunning game of Dungeons and Dragons. Rigby sits at the edge of one of the dining tables with a... wizard's robe, hat, and a very long white beard.

Alright dudes, just to recap: after your journey through The Mystical Forest, you end up in Skullport, where you find out information about some treasure. Later, you discover that there's an underground marketing ring hidden inside the town, and with the mysterious key you've found back in The Mystical Forest, you-

Hudda hudda hudda?! (When can I start using Fireball?)

No, you can't use fireball right now, you're out of sulfur.

HUDDA?! (WHAT?!)

Dude, you use Fireball every time you're in combat. If you keep using Fireballs you're gonna run out.

Mmph... (Stupid rules...)

Anyways, as you enter this town you find out that the town is empty. No civilians were around, but there clearly was some sign of life.

I call a load of barnacles.

Roll a perception check, then.

I got a 17! Haha!

You hear an accordion playing in the distance.

A what?

Alright fellas, this session is a bit important to tell you, because we have a guest PC this time! They'll be joining us for this specific adventure that you'll be going through.

Ooh... a new member. That sounds like fun! So, who from the diner is gonna join us on our lovely adventure?

No one.

No one? What's your game, Rigby?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you... The Bard!

Entering the diner is a creature whose physical form is hard to grasp. However, one thing is clear, an accordion is visible, and long hands are reaching both sides.

Hello fellow magical misfits!

He quickly turns to Peacock.

Why hello, young lady.

Peacock then takes off her hat and a giant boxing glove springs out with a mechanism, punching the bard away.

Fat chance, bub.

First it was the robot guy, now it's that... thing... you sure seem to be a hit, Peacock.

Keep smackin' yerr lips, monkey brain, and you're next.

Ooh... she's feisty! I like it!

That's not all! Joining The Bard, we have Mr. Cheese himself!

Coming out from the back door is a big jazz ensemble with Cheese singing the lyrics himself.

Here it comes... get ready to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!

Oh well that's not fair... I didn't get an ensemble.

Rich and Bard decided to go as the same Class with the same customization, which is... weird

So our little Raccoon friend decided to pair us up as one, so now we cooperate to make the decisions.

They'll be playing as The Bard class with The College of Eloquence. A human named Mark Davis.

The name's Peacock, but my character's name is Patty Tinkersmith. I'm the Artificer, specifically the Artillerist.

I'm Knuckles, but my character is Kane Yoo-Kal, a Barbarian under the path of the Ancestral Guardian.

The name's Lupin, but I play as Arsana LePine, a Rogue of the Thief sub-class.

Mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph!

Pardon?

His name is Pyro, his character name is Pai-Roe, and he's a wizard that lights things on fire. Moving on! We're in the middle of an important story event! There's a giant door to a building with a very obvious keyhole for the skeleton key. So what-

Lemme punch the door open.

Wha- bu- YOU HAVE THE KEY!

I SAID LET ME PUNCH IT.

Fine! Roll a strength check.

I rolled a 17, what's the armor class on the door?

...

Did I break the door or not?!

Rigby then breathes in heavily and exhales a big chunk of air.

The door flies open.

Alright everyone, let's barge in!

Before you continue down the building, a group of guards blocks your way. They seem to have tougher armor, so physical attacks will do less damage and they will have stronger attacks. So... now I must ask you to roll for initiative.

Everyone rolls their 20-sided dice. Rigby rolls his dice and gives a sinister look on his face.

Euch... why're ya smilin' like that?

No reason. So, what did you all roll?

An 18.

Fifteen for me, Spock.

Mmph! (Fourteen!)

Uh... Five.

And we... The Bard team... have rolled a Natural 20!

Ooh... so first The Bard... and after that, all of the guards that have the same Race and Class.

What?! That's a load of bologna!

Sorry dude, that's the rules. After that, it's Peacock, Lupin, Pyro, and then Knuckles.

Hudda hudda? (When can I cast Fireball?)

Ok dude, one, it's not your turn, and two, I already told you that you don't have any more sulfur to cast Fireball!

It is no problem, for we shall cast Thunderwave on the enemies.

Give them a little zap to their systems, ya get me, Riggs?

Alright, but you have to roll.

Hah! Easy!

The Bard rolls a 1.

Mm... yep... a Natural 1... so a 2 with my +1 in Dexterity.

Wow. Incredible.

You try to cast your thunder spell, but the damage is halved and instead of being pushed back, the guards stay completely still. So now, it’s the guards’ turn to attack and they arm themselves with their rifles and prepare to aim. One is aimed at Patty and Kane.

Pfft. Like they'll be able to hit from that distance.

Eighteen and Seventeen.

OH FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!

The guards take their shots and the both of you take... eight points of piercing damage.

Mmp-

No, you can't heal yourself with fire. For the ninth time. And now... it's Arsana's turn.

That's gunpowder, ain't that right Rigby?

It sure i- OH NO.

Well then... I run to the guards and use Sleight of Hand to try and take any excess gunpowder from them.

Roll for stealth check, at disadvantage, mainly because you're in a closed room and it'd be hard for the guards to miss you.

Seems fair. Unlucky for you... I rolled a 19.

WHAT?!

Well well, Lupin, that's pretty crafty of you.

Haha, you know what I do El Queso, what can I say?

sigh… Arsana somehow sneakily steals all of the excess gunpowder in your party and it’s enough for Pai-Roe to cast two more Fireballs.

I hand this to Pyro and say “This is for you, good pal. Now let ‘er rip!”

Pyro then looks at Rigby. The smug aura emanates from inside the mask.

Yeah... just do it.

HUDDA HUDDAAAAAAA! (I CAST FIREBAAAAAAAAAL!)

A great ball of fire emits from Pai-Roe’s hand and immediately does max damage to the guards. It also blasts the wall behind the guards and opens up to a vault of many stolen treasures and goods. Standing in front of a pile of stolen treasure lies… a creature. It has many other eyes stemming out of its circular body, a beholder. His name… is Xanathar. Since this is a continuation of the battle before, it’s still going to be the same turn order, but now… Xanathar moves before Mark.

So does that mean it's my turn?

Yes, it’s your turn, Mr. Kane.

I WOULD LIKE TO RAGE AND PUNCH THE WEIRD EYE THING!

Yeah whatever, just roll to see if you can get past an Armor Class of 14.

Okay… sweet. What does a two mean?

Of all the times ya could’ve messed up.

Kane rushes up to the beholder and attempts a punch, but Xanathar sidesteps out of the way.

Oh come on! Can’t I reroll?!

No. I’m tired of today. Anyways! Xanathar sees you and casts Petrification Ray, now you have to roll a Dexterity saving throw.

I got… a four.

You’re just horrid at rolls today, dude. He hits you and you slowly begin to turn to stone. Next, he looks at Arsana and casts Sleep Ray. You have to beat a seventeen.

Ain’t that a pain… I got a sixteen.

The Sleep Ray hits and now Arsana is put to sleep. Finally, he turns to Pai-Roe and casts Paralyzing Ray.

Hudda hudda! (I cast fireball!)

Stop trying to cast Fireball! It’s not your turn and you don’t have enough sulfur. Now roll your stupid die.

Mmph…

Pyro rolls the die and it lands on a seven.

The Paralyzing Ray hits and you are now paralyzed for a minute. All that’s left is Mark and Patty.

Welp, this battle’s over. We really can’t do anything.

Not if I have anything to say about it! I have a plan!

Alright then… it’s not like this battle is over.

You do you, Mr. Bard.

Mr. Dungeon Master… I have a request.

Go ahead.

Let me charm it… I have a way with monsters.

Everyone looks at The Bard with either disgust or astonishment.

I don’t… why?

Even I think that’s pretty messed up.

Why would you do that?

That’s disgusting!

Hudda hudda! (You should cast Fireball!)

I am not backing down from this option.

sigh… You know what… sure. Make a Charm check.

May the dice gods be ever in my favor…

The Bard rolls his D20 and everything slows down. The die slowly dribbles itself on the table, filled with suspense and intensity… until it manages to land.

NATURAL TWENTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Everyone roars in absolute disbelief, but is extremely happy. Who knew that to defeat the enemy standing in their path… you’d have to enlighten it.

Haha! Oh, how blissful of an event this has turned out to be. I then approach Xanathar with my charm AND PROCEED TO ASK IT OUT ON A NICE LONG NIGHT! That way it can let us go after we finish.

Rigby then looks onward with all the life sucked out of his body. Although it’s not the first time it has happened, the experience felt brand new to him.