Embedded Files
Written by Hitmontop Guy & Dolphin
Written by Hitmontop Guy & Dolphin
Mordecai and Rigby stand inside one of the diner's many bathrooms, pickaxes in hand.
Dude, are you sure about this?
Mordecai, you’ve heard the rumors of the funny loaf of bread. I need that funny bread, man!
And what if there’s no funny bread, Rigby? Skeletor'll disqualify us.
I don’t think you understand how badly I want this bread, Mordecai.
Ugh, fine. You better be right on it being here.
WUS POPPIN'.
Oh hey, GST. Are you here to find the funny bread, too?
BREAD IS LOVE. BREAD IS LIFE. I DEFINITELY PREFER IT OVER MY WIFE.
Cool, cool, didn’t know you were married. Here, catch this!
Rigby tosses a pickaxe toward the toilet, landing a perfect shot into its bowl.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!
Mordecai, Rigby, and GST start hacking at the wall in search of the funny bread. Eventually, they break down the wall.
What's this?
I dunno, but I wanna touch it.
Dude no, don’t.
Rigby puts his hand near the portal-like object, which immediately repairs the wall. Breadskate is thrusted into the room. Several other BKFAD contestants appear around the diner elsewhere.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(WHA-? WH-? WHAT THE FUCK WHERE AM I? I’M SO CONFUSED.)
OOOOOOOOOOoooo- Why don’t you sound excited, Mordecai? We found the funny bread!
Dude, I didn’t want to come here in the first place and now we have a screaming loaf of bread. Why is the loaf of bread screaming, Rigby?
I dunno, I’ve seen weirder things.
True, true.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(Is this VRChat? I’ve seen a floating toilet in VRChat before. I don’t want to play right now though…)
Alright, let’s go.
Dude, you’re just gonna leave the bread here after we went through all this to find it?
Uhhhh, yeah pretty much.
Ugh.
Mordecai begrudgingly leaves with Rigby.
WAA WAA WAAH!
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(Well I guess I might as well try to make the most out of being here. Hey, uh toilet, how are you doing today?)
FUCKING FANTASTIC.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(You can understand what I’m saying? You don’t just hear me saying gwa? That’s a shock.)
YES, INDEED.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA
(Huh. Cool. So uh, do you want to go for a walk- er, float?)
YUH.
GST and Breadskate stroll around the diner and talk with each other.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(What did you do before you got invited here? Other than being used as a toilet, of course.)
YOUNG NIGGA ON THE CORNER, BITCH I HAD TO SERVE CRACK.
GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(Wow, I didn’t expect that. I’m sure being here is better, especially since I’m sure your hopes are no lower than being the tournament victor.)
I’M UNDEFEATABLE, I’M UNAVOIDABLE, I’M UNEVADABLE, I’M ON THE TOILET BOWL. I’M NOT AFRAID TO PULL THE-
GWA GWA. (Truly inspiring words.)
MAN, STOP.
GWA. (Huh?)
They both turn around to see someone had just fallen out of a wall, like Breadskate had.
Ugh… Ow…
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(WHAT? CLOUD? HOW ARE YOU HERE?)
Huh…
Cloud looks up and sees Breadskate and GST.
Oh, Breadskate. Odd seeing you here. Hello.
HOLD ON WAIT, BITCH WHO YOU?
Why is a toilet yelling at me…?
HOL’ UP, LIL BITCH.
Forgive me, what I meant to say was I am Cloud. I was just working and suddenly showed up here, I have no idea what happened.
GWA GWA GWA.
(Hmm. The same thing happened to me.)
Figures.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(Do you have any idea how we could get out of here?)
No clue.
MY NIGGAS GETTING IGNORANT.
Oh, and I’m sure that you have this all planned out?
LIKE A LIGHTER, BITCH WE IGNANT.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(So, you're saying we should get a lighter and burn down the wall that I got ejected out of?)
YUH.
There is absolutely no way that’s what he meant.
HAHA, BITCH, I’M LAUGHIN' 'CAUSE YOU BIG MAD.
*sigh* Let’s go find a lighter, then.
Cloud, Breadskate and GST all search around the diner looking for someone with a lighter.
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Takumi is zoned out watching TV until TV Screen turns to static and the Geico Gecko falls from the wall.
Oh dear, where is this place? I was having myself a delicious cheesesteak and now I’m here.
You… YOU’RE THE GEICO GECKO!
Why, yes I am. You’ve heard of me?
Of course I have. My car is insured by Geico.
Is it, now? That’s always nice to hear. By the way, have you happened to see a telly bloke anywhere around here? I would think he’d be transported here too if I was.
The static on TV Screen flickers violently then changes to the Mario Kart DS logo.
*High quality Initial D noises*
Oh splendid, there he is. Anyways, could we go get something to eat? I’m running on an empty stomach without that cheesesteak here with me.
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Maki, Eggman and Carl all fall in a close proximity of each other inside the Add-Ons’ room. Only Knuckles is home.
Wh- Where am I? Where did Nico, Rin and Konata go?
weeeeeeeeeee adventure. Carl likes adventure. :)
Eggman!? How did you get into my room? Also who is that next to you? Did you try to clone me?
WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE TWO KNUCKLES. WHY ARE THERE TWO, ONE WAS ALREADY TOO MANY.
*sigh* This is the seventh time I’ve had to tell you that I’m not Knu-
shut up. shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP KNUCKLES I DIDN’T FUCKING ASK FOR YOUR OPINION ON THE MATTER YOU THOT ASS.
Eggman, you’re gonna leave my room whether I have to force you or not.
Ok Sonic, but I’m taki- oh wait no Sonic isn’t here. Knuckles, I’m taking your emeralds.
That’s fine, I didn’t want them anyway, just get out of the room.
Fuck you.
Eggman and Carl leave to wander around the diner.
Hey, Knuckles?
Huh? What do you need?
Do you think I look like you? I’ve heard people make jokes about me looking like you many times before.
Kinda. You've got my hair, but that’s about it.
Ok. Can I also ask one more question, Knuckles?
Hmm?
Do you believe in Santa?
...
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Newgrounds Tanker falls and lands on Tankman.
Hey.
Hey.
They both get up and part ways.
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Ba-Rockman Obama falls into the Penguins’ lair face down.
Kowalski! Is this guy wearing the helmet you made? Good thing he’s knocked out or we’d be in grave danger.
Hmm. No, this helmet is different from the one I created. Quite different, in fact. He also has a peculiar thing attached to his arm.
Strange...
Obama comes into consciousness and looks around at the Penguins.
Mr. Obama!
Skipper salutes.
Honored to see you sir, apologies for not recognizing you at first glance. What are you doing with that helmet there?
Uhhhhh, do I know you? Wait, you’re that maverick, Chill Penguin, aren’t you?
Obama aims his mega buster towards Skipper. Rico spits up a missile launcher and aims it at Obama.
At ease, soldier. Don’t cause him any harm.
Blegh. No fun.
Rico tosses the missile launcher aside.
...Skipper, I'm scared.
Be quiet, Private… Ahem. I don’t know who this “Chill Penguin” is, but none of us are him, so can you please put your weapon down?
Y-yes, pretty please.
Obama slowly lowers his mega buster.
Wait a second… I do know you guys. How could I forget, you're the penguins that ended racism! Thank you for your great service.
No thanks necessary, Mr. Obama. Anyways, what’s with the helmet and laser cannon?
Truth be told, I don’t have an answer. I don’t know where these things came from. They’re totally awesome though, look.
Obama shoots a pellet at Rico causing him to lose balance and topple over.
Yes it is, Mr. Obama. Yes it is.
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Giant Enemy Spider and Giant Enemy Crab are lying down near the ocean, a good distance away from the diner. A giant portal above the ocean drops Godzilla and causes a massive splash.
{ B t t t Psh B t } (Is that a goddamn dinosaur in the ocean?)
{ B tb B Psh K } (Um, yeah that’s what it looks like to me.)
SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-oOoOrrRrRRrrnNK!
Godzilla slowly trudges closer to the Giant Enemy Duo.
{ Psh B tb t t } (I’m pretty sure it wants a fight.)
{ B t t t t Psh K } (Well let's give it one, then!)
BA-REEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRUUUUU
The Giant Enemy Duo fought Godzilla for hours. Despite all of their effort, their match came to a complete stalemate.
{ B t t B K } (Can we *pant* just give up *pant*?)
{ Psh B t K } (NO!)
SKREEEONGK…
Godzilla gives up after many hours of battle and goes back the way he came, submerging under the water. The Giant Enemy Duo are completely tuckered out.
{ Psh K K B t t } (Finally… They’re gone-)
Giant Enemy Crab passes out.
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After many hours of searching for a lighter, GST, Breadskate and Cloud find the Pyro, and they realize that he could help them set the wall ablaze.
GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(Uhhhhhh. This guy doesn’t seem the friendliest, are you sure we should get his help?)
TELL ‘EM GET UP OUT MY FACE NOW ‘FORE I GRRT.
GST floats up to Pyro.
Mmph mmmmph. (Oh, hello toilet friend!)
MY LEAN COST MORE THAN YOUR RENT, OOH
YOUR MAMA STILL LIVE IN A TENT, YEAH
Pyro points his flamethrower towards GST.
Mmph mmmph (What did you just say about my mom?)
ARE YOU DUMB, STUPID, OR DUMB, HUH?
Pyro starts crying beneath his mask.
MMPH MMMPH MMMMMMMMPH! (IF THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK OF ME, THEN FINE!)
He throws his flamethrower to the ground and storms away.
Hmm. That was way easier than I expected it to be.
GWA.
(Yeah.)
Well, let’s go burn that wall down I suppose.
Cloud picks up Pyro’s flamethrower and the three of them walk back to the wall Breadskate originally entered the diner from. Cloud struggles immensely in trying to wield the flamethrower.
How am I supposed to hold this thing?
GWA GWA GWA.
(Why are you holding it like your sword? The end you’re holding is the end that shoots the fire.)
Oh. That would explain why it feels so heavy.
Cloud spins the flamethrower around, nearly incinerating GST in the process.
OH! FUCK! SHIT! BITCH!
Sorry. Well, uh, let’s break down this wall then.
Cloud sprays fire all over the bathroom wall, revealing the portal-like object behind it. Cloud continues spraying fire on it until it shatters.
Huh. Is that good?
GWA GWA GWA?
(I think so?)
Breadskate and Cloud both become translucent.
Hmm, interesting. I think this means goodbye then. Farewell, toilet.
GET THAT BREAD NIGGA… GET THAT BREAD…
GWA GWA GWA GWA.
(Goodbye, funny toilet. I’ll miss you.)
Breadskate, Cloud and all of the other BKFAD contestants fade out of the SALT diner and return to where they belong with no memory of the diner.
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