A Very S.A.L.T-y Holiday Special! (Part 2)

Written by Kektendo

The Penguins lead Mordecai and Rigby to a small circle where Peacock and the Murderous Goose had been waiting.

Honk honk honk! (The hell are they doing here? Especially the raccoon.)

Rigby’s welcome here, don’t worry.

Honk honk. Hoonk. (Still don’t trust ‘em. They know what they did.)

Oh, buzz off. Welcome to the club, you two! Cocoa?

Sure.

Awww yeah, gimme some!

Mordecai and Rigby were poured some cocoa, and they sat with the other birds to chat the night away. Meanwhile, Captain Viridian and Ruby approached Jerma, who was streaming the Christmas party via his phone for the Giant Enemy Duo.

Hey, Jerma!

Hm? Oh hey, what’s up?

We were wondering if we could give something to the Giant Enemies.

...Er, more so Giant Friends at this point, heheh.

We felt bad that they had to stay outside during the party, so we wanted to bring them something nice!

Hey, that's really sweet of you! Sure, I’ll take you to them. Hear that, chat?

The three left the party and went to the diner’s parking lot. It was snowing, but the Giant Enemy Duo had a large tent setup and some large winter clothing to help keep them warm.

Hey big guys, you got some gifts!

{ t t B t t B } (Gifts! Look Spider, we got some gifts!)

{ B t t B t t } (Why, how exciting! Thank you very much!)

Mind helping me up? I can just flip up on your claw if you want!

{ B t K } (Sure!)

The Giant Enemy Crab extends his claw above Viridian, and Viridian inverts his gravity and lands on the claw.

¡puɐl uɐɔ ᴉ os pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ ǝʌoqɐ ʍɐlɔ ɹnoʎ ʇnd ʇsnɾ ʍoN

{ t t B } (Gotcha!)

Viridian inverts his gravity again and lands on the Crab’s main body. He walks up the Giant Enemy Spider, who was resting on his friend’s back.

Here’s your gift, Spider! We got you some Silly Putty!

{ t t B t ; t B t B t } (I love Silly Putty! Thank you so much!)

Hey uh, Jerma! What did he say?

He said that he loves it! And he’s also thanking you!

Oh, well you’re welcome. Hey Ruby, give Crab his gift!

Sure. Here you go, Crab! We got you this sweet katana.

{ B t t B ; B t B t B t K B t } (Ooooo, shiny! I love it! Thank you!!)

He also loves his gift.

You’re welcome!

Now ain’t that nice, chat? Hope you’re all having a great holiday out there!

Meanwhile, from inside the diner, Ibuki, John Vechey, and Skeletor were tuning into the stream, witnessing the gift giving.

Awwwww, Skeletor, look! They went through all the trouble to get the big guys a gift! That HAS to get you fired up for the season!

I suppose it was nice, but that’s just what humans do. They’re nice to each other, often for no apparent reason. How foolish.

Ibuki, I honestly think he’s hopeless.

Ibuki never gives up! We’ll find something!

Whatever you say…

Meanwhile, near the snack bar, Lupin III and the Penta Axe General were having a nice chat.

Hey, sorry about what happened to you pal. I wish you luck against those rabbits. They were kinda tough, but I’m sure the audience will favor you.

Why thank you, my good sir! I also wish you well against-

THE JOKER!

AH! You didn’t have to barge in like that!

Oh, but isn’t it fun! I see you’re chatting with axey boy here on this fine Christmas evening! How're you taking the loss?

Rather fine, in fact. My axes and I are sure to do well in losers!

Oh, well that’s delightful to hear. I wish you a good holiday evening then! And you, my good lanky fellow, ha-ha! Are you excited for the battle?

I’m sure it’ll be fun, especially with you being... well, you.

How wondrous! How about a handshake, for sportsmanship!

Sure!

They shook hands and, to the Joker’s surprise, he was shocked alongside Lupin!

Psh, oldest trick in the book. I had one too, just in case!

Why you’re a crafty fellow, aren’t you? Well, perhaps I can offer you this flower as a reward!

Gee, thanks!

As Lupin went to grab the flower, it sprayed him in the face with water.

Ha-ha-ha! You fell for the second oldest trick in the book, you fool! Toodaloo!

The Joker ran off, laughing himself to bits as he left.

Best of luck.

Meanwhile, at a small game table, King Knight and Over Justice were participating in a jovial game of Joustus. Over Justice was sitting on a comfy chair, while King Knight was sitting on the one and only Gucci Smart Toilet.

Are you sure the toilet’s okay with being your chair?

HAHA, DON'T CARE, STAY MAD.

I don’t think it cares that much- Ooh, checkmate! One more gem sweep for the true King of this realm!

I never win, but this game is somehow fun all the same. It’s not as fun as serving JUSTICE, but I like it!

I’m glad you’re having fun, friend. Especially against the Joustus king!

Do my digital ears decieve me, or am I hearin' you callin' yourself a king around here?

Ugh, not this again.

Hey, buddy. If you didn’t know, I’M the only king around here!

You’re naught but a peasant! Don’t you dare claim that I, King Knight, the Joustus Champion, is anything short of royalty!

You’re just some decadent dandy! I could beat you at this Joosty game easy!

It’s Joustus.

Whatever, let’s go. Out of the way, bones!

There’s no need to be rude about it! After all, rudeness is INJUSTICE!

Ah whatever. Say, how do you play this game?

The nearby Top Tutorialists floated over to explain the rules.

Hey! Listen up!

In Joustus, the main objective is to push your cards onto the gems, and keep them there.

You can’t place a card on top of a gem, so you have to use your cards to push your other cards onto the gems, and to push your opponent's cards away!

Some cards also have special effects, like the ability to flip cards to your side, the ability to be placed into dead zones, the ability to smash down and push cards further, and more!

The game ends after no more possible moves can be made! Good luck!

You can use my deck, Etemon. Show him what for!

Alright phony, you’re on! And if I win, not only will I be named the true king, but I get to sit on that throne!

PLAY ME LIKE A DUMMY, LIKE BITCH, ARE YOU DUMB?

It’s on.

King Knight and Etemon proceeded to enter an intense match of Joustus, with tensions high. The Tutorialists and Over Justice watch intensely, as the game twisted for each player. Finally, King Knight pulled out one final trump card, and ended the game by overtaking the last gem, leaving the score 2-1. King Knight had won.

Only I can be king! Keep that in mind, you mangy ape!

TELL 'EM GET UP OUT MY FACE NOW 'FORE I GRRT.

Hey, who're you callin' mangy? Don’t forget that I almost beat you!

You are still a peasant in comparison. Now leave my sight, and have a Merry Christmas! Perhaps jolly old Kris Kringle could gift you a little more skill...

Merry Christmas to you, too. Maybe you can get an actual crown!

Break it up! This fighting is NOT JUSTICE! You’re both equally kings in your own right!

Yeah, whatever...

Meanwhile, Tonio and Niko were walking about at the party.

Hey Tonio, thanks for all you’ve shown me in the kitchen!

Not a problem. You’ve grown quite skilled on your own as well, mio amico.

I guess I have! Here…

Niko pulls out a gift.

I got you this!

Tonio opened the gift to find a new chef’s knife and a little doodle of him and Niko cooking.

This is… one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. Thank you so much.

I’m glad you like i- IS THAT SANTA?!

Tonio turns to see Gandalf, dressed like the jolly Saint Nick himself! He was conversing with Pyro, acting as this new Santa character he was recently told about by John Vechey.

Hudda Hudda Hmmph Hudda! (And so I want a pony! Ooo, and lots of candy! Lollipops are my favorite!)

Uhhh, yes, you’ll be given all your presents in due time!

Huh Hay! (Hooray!)

Hmm. I guess it is Santa.

Tonio winks at Gandalf, and gives him a thumbs up, indicating that he's doing a good job at portraying the role.

Mr. Claus!

Ah! Young Niko! What would you like as a gift?

Hmmmm...

...I want all my friends to be happy! And all the contestants too! This tournament is stressful, and I want everyone to know that it’ll all be okay!

Why… that’s very nice of you. I’ll make sure that wish is achieved.

Thank you!

During this, Ibuki, Vechey, and Skeletor watched nearby.

Do you see any meaning in Christmas now?

I suppose that this concept of "friendship" would bring comfort to a mere mortal, but it doesn’t affect me.

Yeah, Ibuki, we should give up.

Nope! Ibuki. Won’t. Give. Up.

Hooooonk! Sorry I’m late.

Nosegay!!! What’s up?

Oh, nothing. I was just getting ready for the party.

Is that all?

Well… I also got you this, Skeletor!

Nosegay pulled out a wrapped box and handed it to Skeletor.

I’m not too familiar with Christmas, but I’m sure it’s just like Snow Day. Go on, hooooonk! Open the gift!

Skeletor opened the gift to find a painted box with a flap to open it. He opened the box to find a full-scale, hand-crafted model of Eternia, as miniature as it was. He paused for a moment, pensive in thought.