Embedded Files
THE RAID
Written by SportsFan & Makemi Crescent Rozie
[ The seven storm into the lab. They look around, seeing the cages holding their captive friends. The room is very poorly lit, with Skeletor standing in the center on a platform above them, seemingly awaiting their arrival. ]
Hey, bonehead!! This all stops NOW!
You said it best! This is over, dude!
… Oh, is that so? Even if you fools managed to make it past my bodyguards, you would not be able to stop me.
Or rather, stop her!
[ Skeletor pulls a lever, and one of the walls rotates, revealing Ibuki, strapped to a chair. The Ultimate Musician was fully unconscious and surrounded by a glowing pink light. The contestants, incensed at what had become of their former friend, prepared to charge at Skeletor, before… ]
BOOM!
[ The contestants looked behind them, to see Tankman, who had just sent Rigby to the ground with a brutal strike. ]
GAH!
RIGBY!!
Shouldn’t have forgotten about me, huh? And I thought you guys actually had common sense!
Excellent work there, Tankman! You almost make me not regret hiring you.
Grr, cheap trick, but you’re no tougher than a Goomba!
And YOU fools are no smarter than one! Did you really believe that the Master of Evil was not planning something with gathering up a bunch of losers like yourselves? This entire outing was a buildup to my most ingenious scheme yet- and the best part is that those miserable heroes that try to stop me won’t notice a thing!
No, it was just one large roadmap towards multiversal domination! All your worlds will fall, all at the hands of my devious handiwork! Victory will fall out of the hands of the noble, and I will transcend beyond power to become a ruler of all!
Drop the foreplay. Where do I come in?
You simply get a lifetime’s supply of money and all the time you need to do whatever you love in life.
Dammit, that’s good enough for me.
Geez, and I thought we were lazy.
Don’t make me shoot you again, skidmark!
Yeah? Well how about this trick! HYAH!!
[ Funky Kong and Knuckles toss Mordecai and Rigby upward to the cages as Jenny flies up to them, holding onto Lou. As the brothers are able to knock down the cage holding The Pyro, Lou is able to get down the one holding Lupin, Lord Raptor, and Takumi. ]
Finally! Ya couldn’t have taken any longer, eh?
About time we finally got ourselves out of that one.
Phew, I’d say! But a Ma…ster thief can always get out of trouble!
Hpha!! Mph hmph ha!! (Freedom! It’s great to see you guys!)
You guys can thank us later! Or now. Whatever works.
Yeah, let’s get our head in the game!
Agh, that’s annoying… but no matter! There was a reason I captured you losers specifically- to be bait! And looks like you all walked into my trap!
Or rather, you walked into mine!
Excuse me?!
I’m not Lupin the Third, the Master Thief! In fact…
[ Lupin shakes his head, messing up his hair until it takes a more familiar form of a certain time-traveler. ]
It was me, Okabe Rintarou!! Mad scientist extraordinaire!
Aw yeah!! I totally called it when I heard him speak!
Dude, no you didn’t!
DARN IT! I thought I was done with you and your precognitions, Kyouma. But there’s nothing you could predict now!
But I overheard everything you told the Tutorialists before, and I’ve figured out every single part of your goal!
You have?! Well then, spill the beans!
Of course, my teenage robot companion! After figuring out what he plans on doing with the girl, I’ve concluded that-
ENOUGH WITH YOUR BABBLING! While you idiots dragged on, I’ve taken the time to call in reinforcements!
Oy!! Mako! Looks like that’s our cue to make them go BOOM!!!!
...
And uh… not sure if I’m a big fan of the company.
Enough.
[ Roadhog throws his hook forward, but The Pyro is able to latch onto it with a fire ax and pull Roadhog forward. ]
Hmph.. Mph mphhh hmph hudda!!! (Great! Nothing a lollipop can’t fix in a time like this)
Shut up.
[ As Junkrat runs up to support his buddy, Knuckles tosses a Fire Shield activator to Takumi. ]
Huh?
Don’t just stand there gawking!! Break it and use it!
[ Takumi slams his foot on it right as The Oni attempts to grab him. Its hand bumps off with a burn, right as Lord Raptor jabs into it from behind with his guitar. ]
Don’t think you bastards are gonna get the drop on Lord Raptor again! I’m comin’ in fully charged!
I think you guys forgot about the BOMBS!
Is that so? Well, how’s this?!
[ Okabe quickly grabs one of Dante’s guns from his grip and fires upwards, slamming the cage holding the Top Tutorialists right on top of Junkrat. The two fly out of the now crushed prison as Junkrat winces in pain. ]
Finally! It was getting a bit cramped in there!
Hey, you don’t have a right to complain! I barely had any flying space!
Oi, I can see why you wanted to lock them up.
C'mon, let's move!!
[ The Final Four quickly begin to maneuver toward the back of the lab, only to suddenly be attacked by blitzes of purple and blue. ]
Looks like you forgot about us, huh?
Fitting, how you still have much to learn.
[ Skeletor emits magic from his staff, sending the Final Four elsewhere in the lair. He laughs to himself in victory, before addressing the others in the lab. ]
Fox. Meta Knight. Keep an eye on them and under tight containment! I want no more interference.
Understood. I don’t expect them to be able to get through us again.
Yeah, don’t think threats like us stop practicing.
I don’t care what you fast-moving buffoons do. Just get your job done.
[ Skeletor looks at The Oni, Junkrat, and Roadhog, who’ve managed to disarm their opposition, before stepping out the door. On the other side, The Regis had managed to leave most of the remaining contestants disheveled. ]
ZUT ZUTT ZUT ZUTT!! [Operation: Completed. Opposition holds no threat to my defenses.]
Good. Hello, my contestants! I’m glad to see you all worn out!
man, suck my d-.
THERE’S AN OLD SAYING IN TENNESSEE - I KNOW IT’S IN TEXAS, PROBABLY IN TENNESSEE - THAT SAYS, FOOL ME ONCE… SHAME ON… SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t divert us! What did you do to the others?!
I’ve simply taken care of them, and if I were you, I’d be grateful I have no plans on doing the same to you! Since you have no means to truly interfere with my plans, I’ll send you all right back to the Diner from whence you came, and leave the rest of my “bosses” back in charge.
[ Skeletor slams his staff onto the ground, and the remaining contestants disappear, along with the bosses. He’s left with only Tankman. ]
So what, do we just win like that? Dammit, I was hoping I’d get to throw hands myself!
We still have to wait for our experiment to complete. Only then will I say our victory is assured!
Sweet, and then you’ll give me the cash! And maybe some of the other contestant’s skulls to kick in once they’re gone.
Hm...
[ Skeletor looks ahead to see Fox speeding back his way, a frantic expression showing on the pilot’s face. ]
What now?!
The captured contestants broke out! Okabe must’ve slipped them some final plan to get through!
Agh, you idiots! Must I have to do everything myself?! Every time I leave a plan to someone else, they only fail me! You and Meta Knight head back to the diner with the others. Tankman and I will take care of this.
Geez, can’t even wait for the runback.
[ Fox blitzes off as fast as he came. ]
If I were you, I’d head back to that war ground of yours.
Sweet, finally giving me a chance to play, huh? And in my own home? Mighty generous of you-
Stop getting ideas! Just take care of them, and don’t fail me like the rest of those fools! I’ll head back to Skull Mountain. I have a feeling I’ll be expecting company.
[ Skeletor disappears as Tankman scoffs to himself. He then proudly takes out his shotgun, cocking the barrel.]
Looks like it’s finally time for war!
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