Embedded Files
Written by Makemi Crescent Rozie
[ The scene is set on a vast warfield, a faint yellow hue overlaying the smoke on the horizon. Jenny Wakeman flies in, still reeling from Skeletor’s magic, before landing on her feet. ]
Darn it! I really thought that plan would’ve gone better! Maybe Viridian had a point about being too reckless, but still! I can’t let this mistake slip me up!
[ The teenage robot quickly flies upward to get a better view of the surrounding area. With the smog only getting in the way, she activates infrared vision to try and find her partner. ]
If these heat signatures are accurate, Lou and that crazy soldier guy should be around here! They’re likely already fighting, I knew that my processors were taking longer than normal to react!
Hopefully I didn’t recover too late. Lou can definitely handle himself, but he’ll need backup sooner than later!
Alright, let’s put these new upgrades to use!
[ Jenny boosts off higher into the sky, weaving between tank fire and puffs of smoke, heading toward the wrestler with all the speed she can muster. ]
—
[ Elsewhere in the warfield, Lou was doing his best to evade Tankman, firing around at him at all angles! ]
Man, are you still running? It’s been twenty whole minutes, I didn’t think you had the stamina in you for a guy whose show hasn’t been relevant for the past thirty years!
( That punk’s right, I’m not sure how much longer ol’ Lou’s gonna be holding out! I gotta find Jenny before things get worse! )
You know, I was hoping a commentator like you would talk back a bit more. The cold, silent treatment makes this less fun!
[ BAM! More artillery, as Lou quickly jumped up to one of the tanks and slammed right on top of another soldier’s head! He jumps back down, turning to face the blank-faced sergeant. ]
You want some talking words? YOU WANT SOME FIGHTING WORDS?! Well, I owe nothing to a vulgar, alcoholic chump bringing a gun to a one-on-one throwdown!
Listen here, keep going and you’ll face the full fury of Captain Lou! And I earned that title- unlike anything you’ve ever claimed!
That didn’t phase me at all! I guess those words were just as empty and fake as your sport.
WELL THEN, HOW FAKE IS THIS?!
[ Lou slams Tankman right in the head before he’s shaken off. The sergeant is ticked off, dropping his gun and looking back at the now empty tank. ]
I don’t care if it makes me look like a pussy! The job was simply to get rid of you two, and I’ll do it any damn way I-
[ The tank is suddenly ripped right off the ground and thrown directly at John! He goes flying, the tank falling apart as he looks up to his attacker- Jenny Wakeman! ]
Phew, looks like I made good timing, huh?
Hey, paisano! You’re just in time to help knock him down for the count!
Should’ve known you’d get over here too, teenage angst! Done crying yourself to sleep?
I always prefer when they don't talk back...
Now I get that I’m outnumbered here! So I’ll cut you two a little deal if you’re willing to hear me out.
[ Lou and Jenny look at each other, assessing their options. After a pair of nods, Jenny holds her hand forward, energy sparking out of it. ]
Go on, but we won’t hesitate if you try to double-cross.
Not threatened at all, hotshot. I’m used to having guns at my head. This is no different! But I’ll get on with it.
Both of you guys know that I was thrown out of the roster. You two were some of the earliest recruits, you should know this more than anyone! And as long as this tournament has gone on, I’ve been twiddling my thumbs and being bored out of my damn wits!
What are you suggesting?
I’m suggesting we make a trade. One of you two swap places with me in Losers Finals! It’s a fair trade, I get a ticket to grands once I pummel both of you guys, and you don’t have to worry about being targets on the firing range after I’m done with you!
This has got to be a joke, right? We aren’t making that deal with you!
Why not? Too much pride in your head for making it this far? Should’ve known someone your age wouldn’t be thinking straight.
We aren’t throwing out our treasured victories for the sake of some selfish jerk like you! All you would get out of it is more for that steep ego of yours!
Yeah! Besides, you’re still working with Skeletor! How do we know you won’t deceive us the moment we go through with it?
You’ve done it now, John! Because now you got hell wound up, and I’m the one who’s gonna deliver it to you! Super Mario Style!
Haha! You really thought it was just about trying to get back in?
If you two actually didn’t have your intelligence leaking out, you’d have realized this was a diversion!
[ Several other tanks rev up behind Sergeant John, a big grin coming to his face as the soldiers pop out, signaling to give fire. ]
Because even if you guys don’t let me back in, at least I get the thrill of kicking your asses out of these grounds now!
Another trick!-
Stay focused, paisano! He’s our main target. All we have to do is close the distance and give him an all-out pummel!
You’re right! And if you want some real force?
[ Jenny’s hands swap out into a pair of Mighty Mallets! ]
I got you covered!
Now that’s the fighting spirit! Let’s give them an all-out brawl!
Steve! Get everyone ready to fire!
...
Steve! I'm not hearing any guns getting cocked! Quit jackin' off over there and get it done!
...
DAMN IT, ST- Oh right, Steve's dead.
Oh, uh... I'm sorry for your loss there, pal.
Yeah, me too, but... how did you even forget that? When did he die?
I dunno. That ginger kid probably got him. Or maybe it was that bar fight... WOW, what a night. I don't really care, though. He owed me money anyways!
All men, get ready to fire! Don’t stop, not even for a white flag!
[ The sounds of guns revving up echoes throughout the warfield, as Lou and Jenny rush forward toward the maze of troops! ]
Let’s finish this!!
Let’s finish this!!
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