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Written by Zenith
Written by Zenith
Duane arrives at the table, holding a deck of cards. At the table are Mordecai, Rigby, Niko, Ruby, Jenny, and Gandhi.
Alright dudes, we’re gonna play some good ol’ fashioned UNO!
...For board game night?
Hey, board or not, it's still loads of fun!
I’m a master at card games, man! Whenever I play these games, I’m very focused! I’m so focused, I can-
Oh snap, my blood is pumping in a cool rhythm… bum bum… bum bum…
Alright, but isn’t this a big crowd? Isn’t UNO supposed to be, like… 4 players, maybe 6?
7 players isn't too bad...
I mean, it is only one off of 6.
Yeah, it would be way more fun like this anyway.
Hmm... but you know what would make it even more fun?
I don’t like where this is going.
You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
Oh yeah… let’s put money on the table!
After hearing Mordecai's proposal, King Knight bursts through the kitchen wall. Everyone at the table looks at him.
WHO?
The entire table immediately points towards Mordecai.
Hand over the riches, feathery fiend! Only I, a king, deserve such treasures!
Uh, dude, you’re already rich. Why would you need this?
You DARE insult my authority?!
Listen man, if you want the cash, you gotta play the game.
Ha! A card game like this? I am unstoppable!
…how do I play?
It’s simple, dude. All you gotta do is match the color or number of the card on top. To win, you gotta get rid of all your cards. If you have one card left, you say “UNO!”, otherwise you draw two cards. Once you win, you have to say “UNO OUT!”
Simple, enough. I shall destroy every single one of you!
Ha! As if! I’ll show you that I’m the best UNO player in the world!
Several minutes pass.
HOW DO I HAVE 34 CARDS?!
Every time Mordecai draws, he gets a +4 or +2.
Hey, we’re running out of draw cards…
It’s not my fault that I have 34 cards! Argh, I hate this game!
Aww yeah, man! UNO! Soon, those 50 dollars will be mine…
But now there are barely any cards left to draw… I still don’t have any reds.
These card games require an incredible amount of luck.
Hah, foolish girl! I am a card master! No luck is involved, only skill!
Psh, yeah right. I’m taking the money.
You DARE challenge ME, ruffian?!
Suddenly, King Knight puts down a card, dramatically. A yellow two card, to be exact.
UNO! I will be victorious!
Hey, I’m on UNO too! You better watch your back, old man!
Old ma- OLD MAN?! Do not speak to me with those words, you mocking bird!
Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?
Pushing your luck, are you? I’ll have you executed by the time this game ends!
Psh, execute me and I bet everyone in this room would try and stop you, right guys?
Mordecai looks over to the rest of the table and finds everyone to glare at him, with no intent to rescue him if King Knight does indeed try and exact his punishment.
Hey Ruby, remember that time where Mordecai decided to prank us by putting a water bucket on top of the door to my room and you had to un-rust me?
Oh yeah, how strange that that occurrence randomly popped up in our heads right now, and how this will affect our efforts to try and save Mordecai from being attacked.
What? Oh come on, guys! It was just a prank! Rigby, you’ll help me, right?!
Hm, what’s that? All I hear are the words that're coming out of my NEW best friend who DOESN’T hand me +4s like CANDY! Right, Gandhi?
We’re best friends?! Oh man, I can’t wait to tell Abe about this!
Mordecai realizes the mayhem he's caused and knows this imminent danger. Once this game is over, King Knight will ensue his wrath.
Gee, I didn’t know UNO would turn out to be so violent and cruel…
Yeah… maybe we should play something else…
The lightbulb shines a bit too bright and flashes Mordecai.
Ack! Hey, Niko, watch where you point that thing!
Sorry! That’s been happening a lot recently and I don’t know why… but really, we... yawn should stop...
NO! I shall conquer this game and receive my prize, even if it kills me!
You’re the one who’s threatening to execute other people.
Uh… Rigby, dude, you okay?
Thirty… four… Mordecai and I have been friends ever since kindergarten… and this is how he treats me?
Rigby, I think you should just... yawn stop playing.
NO! I'm not giving up! I'm winning this thing, and you can bet your bottom card on it!
This custom card says “Draw until you match” Mordecai. What does that mean?
Aww, c'mon dude.
Mordecai draws, and with his incredible luck, manages to draw a +4.
Oh sweet, UNO!
AAAAAAUGH-!!
Rigby slams his head on the table a couple of times before keeping his head down.
You alright, Rigby?
All I know is suffering..
When will this game end… I wanna go to sleep…
Just a few more minutes, probably.
How are you not tired?
Jenny looks at Ruby for a quick second.
Right. Robot.
I think we should end this game soon. Niko fell asleep, and the lightbulb is only getting brighter… for some reason.
Do not fret! For once it is my turn, the game is over! I win no matter what, and that money shall belong to me!
Yeah yeah, dude. You’ve said that like five times already. It’s my turn anyway.
Duane puts down a blue 2.
Haha, yes! One step closer to victory-
AWW YEAH! UNO OUUUUUUUUT!
WHAT?! This is BLASPHEMY! I had a +4 ready on my hand!!
Oh, you wouldn’t have won anyway then, cuz I had a wild card. So suck it, “King” Knight, if I can even call you that. Maybe jester would be more fitting.
Mordecai makes one more smug jab towards the king, only to find that is one grave mistake. King Knight stands behind him with the anger of a thousand suns.
Uh... guys?
Everyone leaves the kitchen, leaving Mordecai and the King alone.
Wait! Don’t leave me!!
Hey, Mr. Trussardi? We’re gonna need a meal, you've got a future patient in the dining area.
HUH?!
TASTE MY WRATH, YOU BIRD!!
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