Embedded Files
R1M8 - Gandalf vs.
Written by Kektendo
Written by Kektendo
It’s midday at the S.A.L.T. Diner, about 11 A.M. Gandalf and King Knight were due for their interview, which was about to start.
Alright Skeletor, let’s get this interview started!
Let’s just hope these buffoons get here on time. I haven’t seen them all day.
As he spoke, Ibuki was about halfway through the door, not yet looking inside.
Oh, I’m sure they’re not THAT far from h-
She froze, as inside the interview room sat Gandalf and King Knight, playing Joustus to pass the time.
Good morning, Skeletor. Miss Mioda.
Took you long enough! I've been wasting my precious time waiting for you two!
Quiet, fool. You do nothing except sit around and yell at people all day.
Exactly! I’m a king, that's what I do.
Never mind that, how long have you been here?
Six hours.
Six tiring hours!
Ibuki stops for a second to think, using her fingers to count back the hours.
You woke up at 5 A.M. for the interview? That's even earlier than I usually am on concert days!
A wizard is never early, Miss Mioda. Nor is he late. He arrives precisely when he means to.
He also arrives precisely during my ever-so-needed beauty sleep!
Forget this tomfoolery. We came here for an interview, so quit your dilly-dallying and let us begin.
Oh, yeah, right! It’s Interview Time!
Skeletor and Ibuki settle into their places as Gandalf and King Knight adjust themselves in their seats, with King Knight getting into a rather extravagant pose.
Ooh, one more thing:
He pulls out a fancy wine glass and begins to twirl it in his hands.
I’m ready to regale in my glory!
And I thought that Randor would be the most insufferable king I would encounter…
Ok, first question! For the both of you: thoughts on your opponent and this match?
Well, he may have his flaws, but I believe that underneath that materialistic persona is a good man with the heart of a true-
-KING! And KINGS have the right to speak first! Nor did I give you permission to speak! Anyways, I think my opponent is okay, nothing too shabby, but nothing in comparison to moi. And he’s clearly losing too, of course he is! Just look at him, at least Polar Knight knows how to keep his beard!
Why that’s not a very knight-ly thing to say. I have no further comment on the matter, but just know that you shall not pass this round.
Whatever you say, "O Wise One"!
Oooooooh, this drama’s getting intense!
Cut it out, fools! Move it along, clearly you’re just as tired of being here for several hours as I am of being here for 3 minutes.
O-kay then. Well, Gandalf, you come from a more Medieval era, and so does King Knight, so what are your thoughts on each other in that context?
I’ve known better wizards.
I’ve also known far more noble knights than you. At least wizards are proficient in magic compared to other knights.
I can use magic plenty fine, watch this!
King Knight activates his Gyro Boots and starts spinning and bouncing around the room, indiscriminately crashing into whatever is in his path.
Woah! That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen! I gotta take cover though, that’s probably dangerous.
Cease your boundless bounding, fiend!
At the peak of one of his bounces, King Knight stops and uses the Bubble Frog heirloom to safely float back to his seat.
How's that?
It was surely a fascinating display, but it appears you merely used an item to aid you. An heirloom, perhaps?
How dare you insinuate that possibility! That was a stunning display of magic, nothing less! Better than anything YOU could probably do!
I suppose I shall leave it at that.
What a show! Now, Gandalf, the audience is aching to know: How is your beard so well-kept?
Like I said, pol-
I want NO interruptions this time.
But-
ZIP IT.
My beard doesn’t need much tending to, it just keeps itself looking well. Almost as if it were magic!
Why would you need magic for a be-
Skeletor shoots a fiery glance at King Knight, shutting the pest up instantly.
Sometimes, you must get by with the bare necessities, young knight.
Well damn, you gotta teach me how to style my hair with magic sometime! Now, on a similar note, how do you keep your armor so shiny?
FINALLY, a GOOD question!
Well, it all begins with choosing your armor, because they’re all just glamorous! I enjoy the classic gold though, who doesn’t after all? Then, make sure you have only the best polishes, as that’s what you and your armor deserve! Also make sure to have the highest quality cloth rags, they make such a difference. I personally use very fine quality silk, they tend to really make your grandeur show. Now, we start by…
Five whole minutes pass.
…and for the final test, step outside in broad daylight. You know you’ve succeeded when you’ve successfully blinded any peasant within a mile's radius!
That’s 5 minutes I’m never getting back.
Nice! Now I know how to clean that suit of armor I bought last week.
...Why did you purchase a suit of armor?
Impulse purchase, but you never know when you’re gonna need to do a medieval themed concert.
I can never understand you mortals.
Alright, one last question for the both of you. What are your thoughts on your potential opponents for the next rounds, Mordecai & Rigby and the Penguins of Madagascar?
The feathered fools and the garbage… thing? They’re no match for my glory, how could they be! I’ve defeated the likes of knights, specters, kings! And yes, even my fair share of Birders. I’ll take them out easily, and nothing shall stand in my way. As it should be.
Unlike my opponent, I wish to have a rather peaceful match with them. I can fight, yes, though in the end the results come down to the people's votes, does it not? May the best man be left standing.
Then I propose you feast your eyes upon the best man right here! That man being I, the glorious King Knight!
Good luck, young knight. You’ll certainly need it.
Are we finished?
I guess so. This has been I-buki Mio-da with another rockin’ interview!
Indeed, especially with me! Now I shall play myself out.
King Knight puts his hand to his lips and gives a hearty whistle. On command, 6 large horns burst through the walls of the interview room and spewed confetti as King Knight began to bow.
Thank you, thank you everyone! I'm truly touched by this honor for your exalted king!
*sigh*, Why did we invite him?
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