PUBLISHED MON, SEP 18 2023
By Julia Perlmutter, The Paw
From the moment I stepped into the Lower Division building, all I wanted to do was to be in the one across the field, “the big kid building.” I'd envy my older sisters, Ellie and Alana, for the fun they had here in the Upper Division. I used to go to their volleyball games and steal cheerleading outfits from the girls’ locker room so I could cheer in front of the packed bleachers- yes, that’s right, DJDS used to have cheerleaders. I remember dressing up in the color of their color war teams when I couldn’t even participate. I knew about every Shabbaton program and what the Big/Little system was by the age of seven, all because I was so overwhelmingly excited to move to the Upper Division. Why? Because they were always talking about it. Every night at the dinner table, Ellie and Alana would come home from school just to go on and on about a sports game, a class, or a student council event that they loved experiencing, and I wanted that very same feeling for myself.
One might say that the reason I was so enthusiastic about moving to the Upper Division was that I had sisters and a mom who had first-hand experience at the school, and I got to hear about it. This new generation of DJDS students are predominately the oldest kids in their family, therefore they don’t have any prior knowledge about the Upper School coming into sixth grade. Like Alana, they have to figure the school out for themselves, and therefore pave the way for their younger siblings. I am lucky enough to have older sisters who care about my education and my surroundings, but not everyone has that. There needs to exist a higher demand for role models who can act as “older siblings” to the eldest siblings of these families. To show them around, to introduce them to long-lasting traditions, and to help them understand the uniqueness of our community.
This may sound great, but it’s all talk. We need to take these suggestions and apply them to specific circumstances that one might encounter at the school. Some improvements made as of late include school-wide tefillah every Wednesday and snack time so that students of all ages can bond in the morning. Although these programs are certainly helping, what we need has actually been hiding in plain sight-- the Big/Little Program. With a certain buddy system in place, high schoolers and middle schoolers are more easily connected and relationships become personal. Younger students get role models and high school students get leadership opportunities; it is truly a win-win. Starting this at the beginning of the school year enables new students to have a built-in guide from the get-go.
Fortunately, our student council liaison, Julie Steiner, is planning to implement this system, which may bring us one step closer to the old ruach. One of the aspects people most associate DJDS with is the ability for people of all ages to build friendships, and this program certainly acts as a catalyst for that.
Despite the fact that there are certain external aspects that allow students to thrive and bond, there are also internal needs that need to be met to fulfill this potential. Of course systems such as Wednesday assemblies and Big/Little aid in this pursuit, but the true effect comes from the individual. Because these “oldest siblings” are so impressionable, it simply depends on the influencer that determines what path they’ll choose to follow, whether that be negative or positive. Older students must be held to higher standards; watching what they say, being aware of their actions, and making good decisions, especially around younger students.
Middle-schoolers desire so badly to be included, to be “cool"; they’ll do almost anything to have a sense of belonging among the older kids. If high schoolers decide to use degrading language, then middle schoolers will do the same. If high schoolers decide to disrespect teachers, then middle schoolers will do the same. But if that gear is switched to making better decisions, then ultimately our school’s environment becomes a more safe and accepting place to be. If high schoolers act like leaders, middle schoolers will follow as leaders in the future of the school. If high schoolers are engaged in school-wide events, middle schoolers are engaged as well. The domino effect stays the same, it simply depends on the direction in which it’s going.
Don’t fret, the purpose of this article is not to take my complaints out on something or someone, it is simply to look for a brighter future for our school. One of our school’s Divrei Chaim (Words to Live By) is Purpose, and if I didn’t believe the school had that, well… I wouldn’t be writing this. I’ve seen how amazing DJDS can be, and all I want is to bring that back. There is lots more to come and I’m excited for you to read it for yourself. Go Tigers.