Q.24

The answer lies in my statement: ‘Do to others as you would be done by’. (L9)

This is the first step to overcoming ego-drive. (L9)

When involved in argument, let there be full justice rendered by each party to the other. (L9)

Listen ⎯ absorb ⎯ heed ⎯ make amends as far as possible. (L9)

Make certain that in your demands you do not make inroads on the well-being of the other party ⎯ be it personal, pleasure, business or industry. (L9)

Remember that as you do to others, so will it eventually be done to you. (L9)

Remember that your thoughts, words and actions of today will take on form in your experience in days, months or years to come. Sometimes, the sowing will take years to grow into its harvest and the sowing will have been forgotten. However, rest assured, whatever you do today will return to you in some related form, although you may never recognise it as such or perceive the connection. (L9)

Whatever you would have people say about your mistakes ⎯ say those things ⎯and mean them ⎯ about the mistakes that other people may make ⎯ friends or strangers. (L9)

Give the acceptance and forgiveness you would like to receive. What is true forgiveness? It is a state of understanding the other person and their reasons for their behaviour so clearly that you can say in all honesty ⎯ there is nothing to forgive. (L9)

The loyalty, kindness and generosity you would like to receive when in trouble ⎯ give to others when they are struggling with heavy burdens. Never turn to them a cold shoulder. (L9)

Learn to look at a person or a situation with the eye of kindly discernment. See them as they are at this moment and then remember that I see them with compassionate love. (L9)

If you see a real need of improvement in them ⎯ for their own good and the future enhancement of their well-being ⎯ look at them only with heart and eyes of love and see them as they can be in the future. Take them in thought to their SOURCE of BEING and know that your prayer has surely blessed them and opened doors to their development. Seek guidance from Divine Consciousness as to whether you can broach the subject of their ‘improvement’ and ask how this may be done to ensure their happy acceptance of counsel and ultimate success in personal development. (L9)

If someone wants to tell you how you have hurt them at any time ⎯ stand or sit still quietly and know that this is a true challenge to your ego-drive. This is your big moment ⎯ your greatest testing-point. (L9)

How will you handle it? Will you make excuses and defend yourself, considering, even saying, that your actions should not have hurt the other person ⎯ and were fully justified in the circumstances? If this is how you respond, then your ego-drive is still in perfect control of your consciousness. (L9)

If, however, you can realise that the great moment of truth is upon you ⎯ and because of this awareness ⎯ you are able to remain quiet and calm, listening to the other person’s descriptions of their hurt at your hands, you are succeeding in the first overcoming of your ego. (L9)

The next urgent step is to put your own need to defend yourself firmly aside and sincerely empathise with what the speaker is saying. You will only be able to do this sincerely if you can be self-effacing enough to enter a place of inner silence where you can fully enter into their hurt, hear what they are saying and receive their pain into your heart. If you can do this, you will have got inside their skin. And when you can get inside their skin and feel their pain, you will want to apologise from the very bottom of your heart for what you did; the pain you inflicted ignorantly and unknowingly will become your own pain and you will not rest until you have managed, through loving words, to remove all residue of pain from the other person’s consciousness. You will then have healed the hurt and it will also be eliminated from your electromagnetic consciousness system. You have won a great victory over self. You will have reached that point of inner strength and endurance when you can truly perceive the reality of other people as being of equal validity with your own. You have recognised and accepted that others can be hurt by your actions in just the same way as you have been hurt by others. (L9)

After reaching this great moment of truth in your life, you will find yourself able to move between yourself and others quite comfortably, able to see events from their perspective as easily as you can see your own. A great balancing between the needs of other people and yourself takes place, and you enter into a state of peace since you are now confident that you treat others fairly and with generosity of spirit. You have now begun to remove the barriers between yourself and other people and are receiving them into your heart. (L9)

You have also begun to remove your own defences and because of this, you will find that ⎯ at last ⎯ you are achieving true self-esteem and peace of mind. (L9)

This new understanding of the feelings of others will inspire in you a great respect for them. You will always want to deal with them justly, giving them their dues, never wanting to take advantage of their good-nature, never wanting to put them down, reduce their self-esteem, always ready to encourage and pick them up when they’re in pain – physical or emotional. (L9)

You will find yourself doing these things for yourself also. You will become your own counsellor, support, healer. (L9)

You will see each person, no matter what their status, as of an equal basic reality as your own and you will see that you are the equal of everyone else be he King, Pope or President for underneath the externals, you have both come out of the GREAT UNITY of BEING. (L9)

Therefore, you will no longer feel inadequate in any situation, because you have moved forward in the strength and wisdom drawn from Divine Consciousness, and recognise that you, too, have equal rights with everyone else. (L9)

Quietly, calmly, you will not allow others to take advantage of you. You will be able to speak your mind clearly and honestly with due regard for the feelings of the other person. You will no longer want to denigrate another and reduce their self-esteem. Rather, will you make every effort to save their self-respect yet relating your truth in a clear, but loving way. (L9)

Remember, when stating your truth to another, it is not within your province to tell them how they should act in any given circumstance or how they should react to your words. (L9)

However, standing by UNIVERSAL VALUES of perfect honesty, conscientious work, goodwill towards all, caring for the under-privileged, a person is entitled to demand that these values should take precedence over every other consideration of EXPEDIENCY within a group or community enterprise or national endeavour. (L9)

You also have a perfect right to say how you are made to feel by a person’s belittling behaviour towards you ⎯ should you be aware of a need to do so. It is probable that your caring honesty may be necessary to solve or clarify a certain situation for the good of all. (L9)

State your case with kindness ⎯ gently tell them how you feel in the present unpleasant circumstances and explain what has made you feel that way. Do not say ‘You did such and such a thing’ because they will feel you are blaming them and immediately you will arouse the ego defence mechanism in the other person. Thereafter, the confrontation will become difficult and unpleasant for both of you. To get through to ego-driven people you must continually speak in such a way as they will never feel threatened. This is the art of loving communication and you can only learn it by trial and error and dedicated practice! (L9)

Each time, you conquer ego in yourself, it becomes that much easier to relate to others because you are reaching an understanding of the function of ego in all people. (L9)

As time passes, and you are gradually released from the grip of your ego-drive, you will find that, more and more, you can listen to others with soul empathy and love. If they behave in a way which would have hurt or offended you previously, you will feel the welling up of laughter instead. You will then know that your soul is in direct touch with Divine Consciousness ⎯ for Its natural state is that of laughter. (L9)