Gods & Monsters

IT WASN'T THE HEAT, SMOKE, OR CUFFS that bit deeply into my wrists that rattled my nerves. It was what my heart and soul told me would happen soon that made me shiver.

The whirring of machines sounded above us. I turned my head, trying to see into the dimly lit hall. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear the scurry of small feet along the stone.

"Are you all right?" a soft feminine voice echoed from across the dark cavern. Only a flicker of orange light illuminated the room, enough of it spilling in that I could see Neverra's silhouette.

I nodded as I struggled to sit up, the chains dragging against the sharp stones. We had been taken. No, not taken, kidnapped. Drake had betrayed us. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. The memory of what happened at the coffee shop rammed itself back into my brain. He'd smiled so effortlessly, lied so effortlessly, and then Kaden showed up. I knew then and there what was about to happen, knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything was about to change.

"I'm fine," I responded, but even I could hear the lie in my voice. My body hurt, my arms hurt, everything hurt from the force those monsters had used to grab me before falling through that damned dark, howling hole.

I glanced around me and saw a bare foot sticking out of the shadows. Grief swamped me, and I swallowed back my sob.

"Don't look over there," Neverra whispered. "Just look at me."

Tears welled in my eyes, stinging as they formed, my heart wrenching as images of Rick smiling at me, loving me, ran through my head. Now he lay lifeless, just out of my reach. He had tried to save me, to protect me, but he couldn't fight death itself. Because that's what Kaden was, what he had always been. He'd come into our life as a harbinger of death, and I was to be his ultimate weapon.

"It's kind of hard when I can't see you," I whispered, my voice choked with withheld tears.

Chains rattled against stone as she shuffled further. Her brown, toned legs were the first to be illuminated by the firelight. I saw the wounds on her. They hadn't healed as fast as I would assume, and I wondered just how hard she had fought to keep us from getting here.

"I'm here with you," she whispered. "We're okay."

Neverra moved as close as she could get to me, her eyes burning that bright celestial blue.

"How are you?"

I shifted my shoulders and winced. "Bruised mostly. You?"

She forced a small smile. "The same."

"T'm so sorry."

Neverra cocked her head. "Sorry? For what? You didn't do this. This is all on Kaden and that treacherous leech."

"I didn't know he was bad. I mean, I knew he was bad, but not bad bad."

"It's not your fault. Samkiel trusted him too, or he would have never sent him."

I choked back a sob, thinking about how he'd arrived. Dianna. She didn't know. None of them did.

"What?" she asked.

"Dianna, she doesn't know either. If she did, this place would be on fire."

Neverra's eyes darted toward the carved-out door. "No, I don't think either of them does. Logan said they were off-world."

"Oh, no. Logan."

Another traitorous sob escaped me, my breathing becoming tight. Anxiety dug into my chest like a rusty blade, intending to split me open and bleed me across the floor.

Chains rattled as she scooted closer.

"Hey, take a breath, calm down, we're okay. Logan will find them and tell them. We will be okay."

"It's just... " My voice trailed off.

"What?"

I looked at the cuffs around my wrists. "You don't know Dianna like I do."

"I'm sure I don't." She chuckled, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"If I don't make it out-'

"Don't talk like that. We will." Neverra's brows furrowed. "I know how this works. Kaden is using us as leverage. He wants to punish Dianna because she's with Samkiel. He will use you to drag her back, and once they return from Rashearim, that is-"

"Nev," I said, using the nickname Logan had given her and one I loved. She had softened so much around me. They both had over the weeks they'd stayed with me. They were no longer the straight-backed soldiers who cared only for my protection. Now they laughed with me and watched the movies that Dianna always teased me about. They sang with me, all of us dancing around the condo, becoming what I so desperately wanted for Dianna - a family.

"Nev," I said again, "I need you to do something for me."

She didn't speak, but I saw her throat bob.

I moved, wincing at the pain in my side. I heard the chains holding Neverra pull tight as if she'd reached out to help me. My fingers found the slip of paper in my back pocket and pulled it out. I stared down at the note I had written to Dianna the day she left, somehow knowing this time would be different.

"If I die-"

"Don't talk like that."

"If I don't make it out, Dianna will need this, okay?"

I reached toward her, the note trembling in the space separating us. I had to make her understand how important it was. That note was a lifeline the whole damned world would need.

Neverra hesitated, her hands shaking as she reached for it, but her fingers finally clasped around it.

"Promise me you'll give it to her."

She nodded, pressing her fist against her chest. "What is it?"

"A failsafe to bring her back if the worst happens."

Neverra's brows furrowed, her blue eyes burning a shade brighter.

"When we were little, she was always protective of me. I think our parents relied on her more for it. They were always busy, and I was the youngest, so she'd help. Our home was busy, to say the least. My mom and dad were part of a small group of local healers, so they were always in and out. Dianna and I just grew closer, relying on each other. The first incident was when we were in school. A local girl made fun of my sandals because I had broken them but never told our parents. I didn't want them to spend coins to fix what I had done by being careless. They had more important things to worry about. One day, the girl just wouldn't quit. She pushed me, and I fell, landing on my wrist. I don't know how Dianna heard it, but she was suddenly there as if she'd moved on the wind. She fought the girl who hurt me and broke her wrist to match mine."

Neverra said nothing as I hugged my legs closer, resting my head on my knees.

"My parents, of course, fixed her and me. Then they made Dianna attend these stupid meetings for her anger. This was all before the sky fell and Kaden found us. Everything changed after that. I was so sick that those memories are still a bit foggy for me, but I remember being in that damned room with Kaden and all his people. I remember him asking what she would do for me. Gods above, I prayed someone would save us because I knew she would give everything. And she did. Without hesitating, she willingly gave up herself and her freedom. She thinks she gave him her soul, and he made her into a monster. He healed me then and gave her power, increasing her temper tenfold."

It was quiet for a moment, the cavern settling between us as the sounds of machinery continued above us.

"I say this with every ounce of love I have for her: if I die, she will burn the world and, quite possibly, those beyond it. She has a heart, and she loves tremendously, but her anger and rage match that capacity, and they are brutal, especially when it comes to those she loves. So yes, the note is a lifeline. It is a failsafe to bring her back from her deepest darkness if I'm not here to do it anymore."

This time, I didn't fight the tears that fell. The chains moved again as if Neverra tried to get closer to comfort me but was stopped when they tightened far too hard.

"I'm going to get you out of here, and then you can show her the note yourself and feel silly for even writing it. I promise you that."

I forced a smile, knowing Neverra would try to do just that. I started to speak but jumped as a clap sounded from the entrance.

"Honestly," Tobias said, leaning against the wall. "That was so beautiful I almost believed it."

Those damned red eyes glanced between Neverra and me. He strode toward me, and I scurried back, the rocky floor scratching at my legs.

"No! Leave her alone," Neverra demanded, but he only sneered at her and kept coming for me.

I heard her chains again as she fought, but it was too late. He was already in front of me, releasing the cuffs that held me to the wall. I grunted as he snatched me up. His hands held my arms, squeezing hard as he glared at me.

"What?" Tobias cocked his head to the side, staring at me as Neverra fought and flailed behind us. "You're not going to scream? Don't you want to see if Dianna can hear your cries for help while she's screwing her new boyfriend in the realm above?"

"I hope she rips you to pieces," I said, spitting in his face.

He recoiled and wiped his hand across his face before backhanding me hard enough that the whole world spun. I heard Neverra scream and curse at him as he dragged me from the room. Neverra's cries made a pit form in my stomach, and I fought for one last glance of those friendly blue eyes.

I slipped a few times as he dragged me up the stone steps, but he never stopped or slowed. Machinery groaned above us, the heat here more intense. Small creatures scurried around us, carrying rods of iron and speaking in a language I didn't know. I dodged, trying to move out of their way.

Tobias snarled at me and tightened his grip, yanking me back to him. He stopped at the end of the hallway, just short of an open expanse, and tossed his hand outward. Wind pushed my disheveled hair back as a portal ripped open, the sound of cheery voices filled with glee and excitement greeting us. Tobias pushed me through, and I saw glowing eyes of all different shades as he dragged me through the crowd. I knew these were vampires and witches, but I didn't know any of them. Tobias tossed me into the arms of a brawny vampire. He gripped me tightly, pinning my arms against my body, and before I could react, a sack was pulled over my head. My heart beat erratically as I waited, voices flooding in and out.

"Come on, Drake. Center stage is yours, buddy." Kaden's voice filled the room, but my mind stuttered, caught only on that one name.

Drake.

The vampires around me murmured, and I could feel both their unease and excitement. My heart clenched.

"Camilla filled me in on the rest," Kaden continued.

I choked back a sob. Everyone she thought she could trust had betrayed her and brought me to him. Oh, gods.

Minutes felt like hours as he taunted her, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt she wasn't there. He had to be taping this. Fuck. Think, D. Please think clearly. He knons what this will do to you, and he wants you to react. Please, don't give it to him.

"Tobias, if you would be so kind? There is one last thing I would like to show my sweet, precious girl."

The room fell silent, and my heartbeat skyrocketed. I heard what sounded like curtains sliding right before Tobias's strong hands grabbed my arms.

Fear turned to resolve as I set my mind to what I knew was about to happen. They dragged me through the hall and threw me to the floor before ripping the hood from my head. I tried to back up, to run, but an Irvikuva snarled and snapped behind me, forcing me to stop. I grunted as another one grabbed me, tossing me toward Kaden. He caught me and dragged me toward the camera, his grip hard enough to make me wince, but the familiar eyes around the room caused true pain.

Dianna had called many of these beings friends. As I took in the newsroom and everyone around me, I knew there would be no saving this, no stopping it. Everyone had betrayed her, and she'd seek revenge in the most lethal way. I felt myself trembling, and I prayed they didn't think it was in fear of them. It was only fear for Dianna, of her losing herself once more.

I'm sorry, D, I thought as I stared at the monster before me. I can't tell you what's right or wrong anymore. It's time for you to figure it out for yourself.

He taunted her as he pulled me close, but I drowned it out, hoping my eyes could convey the emotions I felt.

"Now, is there something you want to say to big sis? You know she's watching." He held my face a fraction tighter, his thumb caressing my jawline. I knew her, loved her through it all, but the world did not deserve her wrath, only him. I wanted to beg and plead with her not to do what she would, but none of that came.

"Remember... " I swallowed, a single tear I could not hold back any longer sliding down my cheek, "that I love you."

Isaiah's legion scattered, some heading toward their snow-capped tents or seeking a healer. Others pushed toward the roaring flames near the center of camp. Weary after the battle and the trek back through the portal, the soldiers gathered, seeking food and warmth. Many would talk as they ate, some would laugh and joke, and others remained quiet, but they all sought to process that there was an entire region that was no more.

The defeated weeping of the prisoners contained in large steel wagons in preparation to be shipped back to her was barely audible over the noise of the flames, and the soldiers carefully pretended they didn't hear the sound.

One by one, his men went their own ways, but it was the ones that went their own way alone that caught my attention. Alone. That word haunted me now, for it was what I felt, even as an aching, yawning pit in my gut screamed how wrong I was. If the blood-soaked general I followed had his way, I would never be alone.

The whip of the icy wind ceased as we stepped into the tent, the thick flap slapping closed behind us. My body was still controlled by those damn magical words, forcing me to follow Isaiah like a hound on a leash. Although, I admitted if only to myself, a part of me locked in the deep recesses of my mind did not worry much about that leash. Better to be tied to a beast with a code, as twisted as it was, than one who looked at you as nothing but a platter of meat.

Isaiah stopped in the middle of the large tent, and I followed suit as I had been commanded. He turned toward me, his heavy armor blood-stained. I could feel the weight of his glare before he removed the spiked helmet and dropped it to the ground. The clatter of his gauntlets followed before he worked open the straps holding his chest plate in place and allowed it to fall as well.

His gaze remained intently focused on me, and I swore I saw concern and distress in his eyes. But that couldn't be right. Why would he be worried about me? I was so intent on trying to read his expression that if I could have, I would have startled when he spoke. It was another one of those damn commands. I wish I could make them out. Maybe then I could figure out a way to free myself, but they sounded garbled and distorted to my ears.

As soon as the words passed his lips, my knees bent of their own accord. Instead of a hard forest floor, my ass met plush furs. My body remained still, but my mind raced with a mixture of panic and a disturbing heat I tried to deny. Had he grown tired of taking me everywhere? Had he decided to act on his desire and use me as he wished while I could not fight? Was he going to take me like this? Was he going to claim me in all ways? Something in me threatened to break when I realized he could even force me to respond how he wished. I'd grown up around powerful warriors and saw how, even in the hardest battles, the adrenaline alone could make them crave the pleasures of the flesh. They sought to feel alive after being surrounded and threatened with death. Gods, I had experienced and acted on the drive myself.

He flung open a chest and pulled out a small sack before kneeling in front of me. Heat flushed my skin, seeing this powerful general take not one but two knees before me. It felt like my heart was breaking. I wanted to scream, to punch him, and then gut the whole war camp before fleeing. But there was another desperate part of me that wanted to do something far different.

Isaiah loosened the laces holding the shoulder piece of my armor, careful to keep the chest piece secured so I wasn't half disrobed. His touch was exquisitely gentle and kind, a complete contrast to the brutal killer I knew he was. His thick, calloused fingertips grazed my skin, and a shiver ran over my body.

Yes! I wanted to scream. I feel that! Yet, no words or movement came.

Isaiah placed his hand on my arm. His searching gaze held mine, and I saw the regret in his eyes. Before I could process his expression, pain blistered across my shoulder and chest. In my head, my scream nearly deafened me. While my body remained unresponsive, agony wound its way through me, growing less intense until only a small tickle remained.

"You didn't even know your arm was hanging off, did you?"

What? My arm? I knew the battle had turned bloody when one of the rebels spat in his face, but the fight lasted mere minutes. He'd bitten out the words that would command me to fight, and our enemies were disposed of in seconds. I hadn't even realized I was injured. I couldn't move to see it, but I felt the itch as the skin knit back together. It felt like baby spiders were crawling through my arm, and I desperately wanted to shake them off. Had I been wounded so badly and not known or felt it?

"It's not your fault," he added as the crawling sensation stopped. Isaiah slid his fingers down my arm and squeezed my fingers, still watching me. "Earis was supposed to be at your back. I'll kill him for his lapse."

Please do not kill people for me, I wanted to beg. "Another perk of controlling blood is the ability to heal," he said, tying my armor back in place before sitting back on his heels. His gaze searched mine as if hoping for something. "You didn't even feel it, did you?"

I feel when you touch me. I only feel nhen you touch me.

It was a whisper across my mind and one I had not thought of until now. The only indication my arm was even half-off my body was because of his fingers on my skin.

Isaiah confused me. He would haul me into battle on Nismera's orders, risking my life in her war. I would soak battlefields with the blood of the rebels who still stood against her. Then after, he would mend my wounds and ensure I was okay. Away from Nismera's command, Isaiah was nice... Well, he was nice to me, but never in a way that suggested he wanted more from it. At first I thought it was an act, that this was a game to him, and I was nothing more than a prize. But as astounding as it was, he seemed to truly care about me.

He rose and said the words that would force my body to relax and shift on the thin mattress. He sat on the small cot across from me, leaving enough space between us so I felt comfortable.

"I know this may be hard to believe, given my title, but I think out of all of us, I'm the smartest."

Something eased in my chest as he tossed me a soft, boyish grin and sat the sack between us. Comfortable. I was growing comfortable with a general of war, growing comfortable in the midst of war. How peculiar for a girl who couldn't feel anything.

"I have these theories about the spell Azrael created, the one that trapped you." Isaiah's smile faded as he reached into the bag. "If it controls parts of your brain, turning off your basic needs until all you are is this weapon, then perhaps things that spark your brain may override it. Things that you love or bring you joy."

Isaiah reached into the sack and pulled out some of the contents before spreading them between us. Surprise filled me when I saw the items were mine, small totems from my room back on the remains of Rashearim. I wondered if he had gone there and fetched them or if, for some reason, they had collected them when they took me.

He watched me as if one of them would spark a reaction, but they were only things. They meant nothing much to me. It was all replaceable: lipsticks, jewelry, and scribbled words. The corner of his lip twisted when I remained unaffected. He reached back into the sack, taking out a small plush animal that was worn from wear. Cameron had given it to me as a joke. Logan said it resembled a rabbit from Onuna. It was ragged and well-loved, missing an eye from how long I had kept and slept with it. The longing for my family grew, my heart aching with memories of them and their laughter. Yet, I remained frozen in place.

Keep trying, my heart begged. Reach me. Please.

Isaiah made a noise deep in his throat before reaching back into the sack, the bag deflating along with my hopes. He pulled out my journal. The pages stuck out everywhere, the clasp on it so worn, I'd bound it with string to keep it all contained. He waited, and when nothing happened, he sighed, tapping it against his knee.

"You know," he said, defeat evident in his voice, "I'm sure Kaden would laugh at my reckless attempts. Claim I'm a fool. Perhaps I am."

No.

He tipped his head as if he could hear me, but I knew that was merely wishful thinking. A small smirk formed as he palmed my journal.

"Kaden has this persona he wears. He wasn't always cruel, as everyone says, but now it seems that is who he always chooses to be."

Internally, I screamed how much I didn't believe it, but the way Isaiah spoke about him, the way I saw him glance at him, perhaps the monster he was, wasn't always what Isaiah knew Kaden to be. Despite that, there was no way he could ever make up for the damage he'd done. I hated him for what he did to me and my family. Yet, there I was on a cot, on the side of a snow-covered mountain, bonding with one of the deadliest creatures in the realms.

"I didn't go through it, but I did find some of your other books." He reached back into the sack, pulling out a few small aged books. The titles were faded from how many times I had run my fingers over them.

"Kaden was actually the one who helped me learn to read. My father had hired tutors to teach us the many languages we needed to learn. It all bored me, but Kaden found a way for me to enjoy it."

He flipped open the off-white book. It contained tales vast and small. Some pages were filled, others held a mere paragraph. It was a book of stories and poems, one of my favorites.

"Stories he told me, and I loved them. He would find as many books as he could for me to get lost in, and one day, I couldn't put them down. It made our parents happy, but Kaden never mentioned his part in it." Isaiah gave me a small smile. "I think he wished to carry the tough older brother persona a little longer, so I never told. I grew to love them, though. The stories. Poetry is actually my favorite."

He held up the last book, a tale of heartbreak and ancient battles. "I promise not to read your journal." He smirked at me and waved the book. "But I make no promises for this one."

It surprised me, but a small, fleeting laugh welled up inside me at how he teased. I wondered, locked away here where no one would know or hear my thoughts, if this were anywhere else, if we were anyone else, could we actually be something?

He gathered up all the items and placed them in the sack before tying it and standing.

"I am done bothering you for the night." He spoke softly, glancing at my arm before meeting my eyes once more. A part of me was sad that this was coming to an end. Even if I couldn't respond, it was nice to have someone speak to me. I didn't feel so lonely.

Isaiah muttered another command and my body laid down to rest as he stalked toward the other end of the tent. He didn't see, his back turned toward me, but I felt my eyes move as if I owned them to watch the general of war leave me.