4 Fat Smitty's burgers and a bite. Link to PDF of new article and BG's video

Cinco de Mayo is often confused with Mexican Independence Day, but is in fact a celebration of the Spanish victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla. For the Bone Collector, there's no better way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo than to dessemate the competition in a series of eating contests - much in the same way the B.C.'s neighbors to the south did to the French on the fateful day in 1826.

Through his extensive underground network, the B.C. was informed of three seperate eating contests, all taking place on Cinco de Mayo, in various locations around the city, back-to-back-to-back. Could the B.C. perform one of the greatest miracles of all time and win three separate eating contests, all within the span of 4 hours? Much like General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín, the B.C. surveyed the battlefield, strategized and planned his attack, and then went on the offensive in perhaps one of the boldest blitzkriegs that the world of competitive eating has ever seen.

With the close help of his manager and trusted advisor, T.L., the B.C. achieved something unthinkable this day, he defeated his own personal General Charles de Lorencez - he won all three contests.

Contest 1 was wings (a B.C. specialty and namesake) dipped in a chili extract sauce at Dick's Last Resort. They made the B.C.'s mouth burn, much like the parched earth at Puebla burned with the fallen corpses of French soldiers.

Outcome: Bone Collector is the winner. It's almost as if the French army never even showed up.

Wasting no time basking in his victory, the B.C. advanced to his forces to the next battle site. This time he pulled a sneak attack on the enemy at the undergound bunker of Timothy O' Toole's. It was reported that a small tear formed in the eye of the B.C. as he entered the bunker, not for the enemy lives that he had to take, but as this was the site of an informal eating victory the B.C. had years earlier. The B.C. remembered the bittersweet victory over his friend A.S.. A.S. never was the same after that day.

Contest 2 was a plate of 15 raw jalapeno peppers. The fire that burned within the B.C. raged like the inferno of death that the Spanish delivered to the French at Puebla.

Outcome: One determined soldier gave a charge as the battle commenced, but that same soldier soon fell on his sword. Bone Collector: Winner.

As the B.C. rode his gallant stallion into the final battle, he could sense that the world of competitive eating would never be the same. The B.C. was beginning to realize that he was on the cusp of altering the course of history..

As the B.C began to hear the battle cry of T.L. proclaim victory he scanned the battlefield to find it littered with fallen soldiers, while he remained standing tall, he raised his arms in victory and lifted a goblet of mead and said "Here's to you General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín"

Contest 3 was a taco eating contest at The Pony. They made the B.C.'s belly full, just like General Seguín's belly bulged after his decadent feast to celebrate his victory at The Battle of Puebla.

Outcome: The enemy forces trembled with terror upon hearing reports from their sentries that the B.C. himself was riding into battle. The few soldiers that didn't retreat payed with their lives as the B.C. rewrote history and won his third battle of the day. Viva el coleccionista de huesos!

Sometimes the Bone Collector just amazes himself...While the B.C. leads a busy life, he understands that his legions of fans count on the B.C. to be there and maintain his "hero" status. Through some hectic last minute maneuvering, he was able to enter the annual tater tot eating contest at Bar Louie in Chicago. Luckily, M.L. (a close friend of the B.C.) was able to attend to record this momentous ocassion. Once the contest started, the Bone Collector absolutely amazed onlookers by destroying 3.5 pounds of tots in a paltry 3 minutes, earning himself a victory in a completely new discipline. The Bone Collector truly did "Rock The Tot" on this historic night.

The Bone Collector likes to mix business with pleasure. While on a recent trip to visit friends near Indianapolis, a good friend of the B.C. recommended visiting Bub's burgers in Carmel, IN to attempt a truly daunting task. Bub's makes the "Big Ugly" - a 22 oz patty of meaty goodness. While eating one of these burgers will get a small 4 x 6 picture of yourself on the wall, the Bone Collector wanted to leave his mark and decide to eat two of these behemoths. In return, Bub's expressed their gratitude by posting a nice, glossy, 8 x 10 of the B.C. in their establishment. Few have accomplished this feat. Next time at Bub's The Collector will attempt eating three "BUBs" and immortalize himself as an eating god. Visit Bub's and admire the B.C.'s picture on the wall

The Bone Collector isn't just about wings and pizza. He appreciates international fare and what better way to celebrate the Beijing Olympics than with an egg roll eating contest. As you can guess, he represents his country well and brings home the silver.

*Correction: Previously this site stated that the B.C. won this contest and therefore was proclaimed the "Michael Phelps of competitive eating". The news channel incorrectly reported that B.C. was the winner (see the video) but the B.C. actually got second place so he's really more like the Nadia Liukin of competitive eating. The real winner, a gentleman named Steve Dokho, was very upset about this misreporting of facts. Let's set the record straight. Say it with me now: " Steve Dokho is the Greg Louganis of competitive eating". Congrats Steve!!!

The Bone Collector makes a fiery re-entry into the world of competitive eating by destroying the field on his way to claiming the title of Chicago's "Pizza Eating Overlord".

The Bone Collector delivers a campaign of shock and awe as he blows away the competition for his third straight title. This was to be his last wingfest as Bone Collector decides that three is enough

The Bone Collectors returns and successfully defends his title as "Chicago's Undisputed Wing Eating Champion". In the picture you can see Lin Braehmer from WXRT giving the B.C. the props he so righteously deserves.

It's the first year of the Chicago wing eating contest and the Bone Collector makes a mockery of the field. As the competition looks in bewidlerment at the feat that just took place, the B.C. looks down at the plate full of bones and declares himself as "The Bone Collector: Champion of Wings" and thus the legend is born.

The Bone Collector is currently looking for a better picture than this.

Its 3 am and the Bone Collector is hungry. Someone mentions the infamous "Slinger" served at Chicago's Irving Park Grill. That's all the B.C. needed to hear. Upon arrival, he promptly demands two "Slingers" and finishes them both. Done and done.

Bone Collector and the brother of Bone Collector successfully complete the Pointersaurus Challenge Winner - 2003. The B.C. is one of the first to complete the challenge. Long before the titans of competitive eating such as Richard "The Locust" LeFevre, Carlene LeFevre, Tim Janus and Joey Chestnut are able to summon the courage to slay the mighty Pointersaurus.