Top 50 Gun Puns by Richard Grayson

WHILE Richard Grayson takes the safety of Blüdhaven extremely seriously, he also understands that sometimes there's a need for levity. The Gotham Gazette managed to catch Richard on his day off to hear his favorite jokes to help lighten the mood around the precinct. 

1. What do you say when you accidentally drop your gun and you try to be polite about it? ‘Oh shoot’.

2. What do you take away from an item that you chew and replace to the item that you shoot? You take away the ‘m” and replace it with the ‘n’.

3. What do you call a gun from the ocean? An a-salt rifle.

4. I can print a gun using my 3D printer because it is made by Canon.

5. Guns getting married is what you’d expect to see at a shotgun wedding.

6. I accidentally dropped my gun in the avocado dip and now is glockamole.

7. My gun and vacuum store is not very popular based on the reviews as they seem to Suck and Blow.

8. Someone was shot multiple times with an upholstery gun but after seeing the doctor, he was said to be fully recovered.

9. What is a squirt gun with pee in it? It’s a piss-tol.

10. I was horrified to see that someone fired a gun into my phone and it was a screen shot.

11. Did you know that a T-rex that sells guns is a small arms dealer?

12. Why can’t web developers carry around guns? Due to troubleshooting.

13. What is the best hairstyle for a gun owner? Bangs.

14. What does firing a gun and having sex have in common? They are both about bangs.

15. Gun owners really like to read magazines.

16. I went to the shooting range to try out my new gun but it didn’t work. I had to read the troubleshooting section in the manual.

17. What is a sun with a gun called? A shooting star.

18. What do you say about someone who took a toy gun to use during WWII? Someone who had NERFs of steel.

19. What is the most appropriate situation where the term ‘getting the most bang for your buck’ can be used? When you go to a gun store with a hooker.

20. The costs of guns have skyrocketed as the prices had just shot through the roof.

21. Aww, I lost my gun, oh shoot.

22. A group of fathers just created a new gun and they call it the JK-47.

23. I have to be careful about using the word ‘gun’ as people easily get triggered.

24. Why are guns more popular than swords? Swords just don’t cut it.

25. I am keeping my rifle with me so I can stay safe in the wood, I don’t care what you say as I am sticking to my guns.

26. The first thing I said when I got hit by a water gun was H2Oww.

27. What do you call a caliber is Chekhov’s gun? A Catch-22.

28. Why was the guy with fire tattoos on his arms banned from the building? No one with firearms is allowed to enter.

29. Vader’s favorite gun is a Sith & Wesson.

30. I like dillos but I can’t give them a gun because I won’t ever armadillo.

31. The only way I know that you believe in gun control is if you are wearing sleeves.

32. That poor flower seller who was held up at gunpoint quickly became a petrified florist.

33. What is the one thing that churches and laser guns have in common? Pews.

34. I live in a hood and got my kid a toy gun and it is called pack-n-play.

35. The hunter whose gun stopped working yelled on top of his lungs ‘shoot’.

36. The glue from my hot glue gun disappeared which left me completely glueless.

37. What do you call a box for a gun for traveling? A shoot case.

38. I have plenty of French WWII guns for sale and never once have they been fired and only dropped once.

39. A guy holding some red fruit walks into a bank with a gun and yells ‘this is a strawberry’.

40. What is something that the marxman puts into his gun? Communition!

41. What does the owner of a gun shop say about the girl who fell onto the weapon rack? ‘She fell into my arms’.

42. What do you get when a rodent gets a hold of a machine gun? A ratatatatata.

43. What do you expect when you ask a member of the NRA what their opinions are of machine guns? You’ll automatic response.

44. What is the type of gun that has never killed anything? A vegun.

45. Chuck Norris was shot with a gun and the bullet was terribly injured.

46. Why didn’t the Sex Pistols have kids? They only shot blanks.

47. Why was it a bad idea for Tom Cruise to put his prized pistol on the highest shelf? He can’t reach the top gun.

48. What happens if you are found with a pistol made out of jello? That is a congealed weapon.

49. Why did the old man with the pistol miss the target? He has glock-oma.

50. What gun is always angry? A pissed-ol.

Did these jokes hit the bullseye? Let us know in the comment section below and keep a look out for more articles on the Gotham Gazette website!