Today I interviewed the man who caused our most recent crisis (that being the Hung Parliament), Justice (and Author of this Article) Birdish. The interview and my comments are outlined below.

1. What inspired you to create a hung parliament?

“Well, I first had the idea during the United Front election, where a hung parliament was brought up as a possibility many times (since UF refused to coalition with Populares, Bloc refused to coalition with either, and PLS isn’t allowed to be in government). At the time, the possibility of a hung parliament was very real - if the UF had gotten a mere 2% less in the Election, it likely would have happened. Ever since that election, I have been set on causing VoDs' first ever hung parliament.”

This very handsome lad has seemingly been hellbent on causing a Hung Parliament ever since the United Front achieved a majority of seats that one time. Seemingly, there was no reason other than “I wanted to cause the first ever hung parliament.” Whilst this may seem selfish, it is funny.

2. How did you do it?

“Well, first, I had to ensure my party had enough seats. So I went around whipping my party members and friends (who were in VoD; no brigading involved) to vote for PLS. Then I had to ensure the other parties didn’t form a government. I had already agreed with Bobux that neither of our parties would give confidence to a government. This forced the other 4 parties (LoI, Bloc, HD, OTR) to attempt to form a government with each other (as PLS and Bobux held 3 seats each). I then went to Bloc to convince them to vote against forming a government with HD and OTR, as they had frankly done nothing in government in recent memory. This worked. Without Bloc, the other three parties did not have enough seats to form a party, and thus Parliament was hung. 

Also, PLS being unable to give confidence to a government due to its charter demanding eternal opposition was very useful in my pursuit of a hung parliament. It meant that 3/15 seats in Parliament were unable to be used to help form a government. Further, the previous failures and fall of the United Front also helped immensely, as without the United Front, I would not have been able to convince Bloc to vote against joining the government.”

It seems like it was a long and arduous process to manufacture this hung parliament. I wonder if it was worth it.

3. Did you plan this in advance?

“Nope, all improvised.”

Damn.

4. Was all this work worth it?

“Yeah, it was funny. Also, the first time this has happened in VoD sooo put my name down in the history books.”

Something's wrong with this guy. All this time put into causing a crisis “because it was funny?” Get this man a therapist. 

5. Do you plan to end the Hung Parliament anytime soon?

“Yeah. I figured out a way to end it constitutionally. I won’t be revealing how, but within a few hours (or days, depending on how I feel), this will all be resolved.”

At the very least, he has a plan to end this. It isn’t just a crisis for the sake of a crisis with no solution; it's a crisis for the sake of fun with a solution.

6. What is your favourite dinosaur and why?

“You know the fucking answer. You’re me. The readers also know the answer by now.”

This bitch has got some attitude. The nerve of him to speak to a reporter this way.

Tune in next time for Birdish’s next Schizophrenic breakdown in 7.