Opening Journals
Accessing Files
Warning, user has locked journals. Please input pass code
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
****
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
"The way to achieve peace is not to be pacifist, but to be anti-violent.
To be pro-peace, you have to work for justice."
Pass code accepted
-Arrived on Cell | 16/03/24-
-Promoted to Private | 17/03/24-
-Promoted to Private First Class | 18/03/24-
-Promoted to Lance Corporal | ??/03/24-
-Promoted to Corporal | ??/03/24 -
-Promoted to Sergeant | 20/03/24-
-Promoted to Staff Sergeant | 21/03/24-
-Promoted to Sergeant First Class | 03/04/24-
-Promoted to Master Sergeant | 13/04/24-
-Promoted to Sergeant Major | ??/04/24-
-Promoted to Second Lieutenant | 13/05/24-
-Promoted to First Lieutenant | 11/06/24-
-Promoted to Captain | 26/07/24-
-Promoted to Major | 21/08/24-
-Promoted to Lt. Colonel | 24/11/24-
-Promoted to Colonel | 12/1/25-
-Promoted to Commander | 08/04/25-
I've decided to detail some things that give me purpose, some goals you could say. Some will be completed, others won't. It's just to remind me of who I'm supposed to be.
-Curing Black Blood | Priority: 1-
This is my top priority. I know people are afflicted with this blood, and I know people are suffering. I will not let some Sarkic blight eradicate humanity.
-Update: I don't want you to fall, despite you being the enemy-
-Curing the Rot | Priority: 2-
I've come to realise that curing the rot is either a mistake. or an impossible feat. But I shall continue to try. For I wish not to force those who no longer wish to fight to stay in this war torn land.
-Assisting the Ebony Hand | Priority: 2-
I have been asked to assist them. And I shall do so. For I do not give up on my word. That is not the way I was raised.
-Maintaining my code of honour | Priority: 1-
Others know not of my code. Nor need they. This is my path, this is my honour. Despite all I've done, I will continue doing my best to the Branán code.
-Eradication of the Foundation | Priority: 4-
I hope it never comes to this. I hope they realise the mistakes they are making. But I fear they will never bend nor listen to reason.
-Reforming certain practices within the Insurgency | Priority: 3-
Some men seem to forget that our goals are larger then just fighting.
I hope to make them work for humanity. Not killing and sadism.
-Project Panacea | Priority 2-
Small personal project that will hopefully assist in saving a few more lives.
-Past Objectives-
-Eradication of Nathalia Bell | Priority: 2 | Accomplished-
Shooting you was a kindness. They were going to do far worse.
-[Project Name expunged from Personnel file] | Priority: 2 | Accomplished-
A personal project. One that will blaze a path.
-Update: I've done it. The Sarkics will fall-
-Find the truth about Lockwell | Priority: 3 | Failed-
You two were far too close. Snow-Leopard, I know you didn't do this out of malice. I will find the truth. I'm sure of it.
-Update: I knew there was more. I need to dig more-
-Update: Stalled for now, Snow Leopard has been contained-
Stranger was an interesting man, I only met him once. It was during the ceasefire as we were preparing for the operation at the centre of reality. I can recall it was in the medbay of the foundation. Due to the low volume of injuries happening at our base aside from the occasional incident from carelessness. I decided to stay and offer assistance if necessary. Eventually I tagged along with Ignis when wandering around site. We were invited in to talk with a medical member in there office. After that we simply observed some.... interesting things.. in medbay. He was certainly an intriguing person. My first interaction with him was in their medbay. Some of his staff seemed to be harassing him about a "settlement" .
Beside the point, at this moment I learned of a place called "The forgotten realm". I arrived there with Noctua after being relieved of my position outside of the foundation's break room. We linked up with the team of Dreadnaughts already inside. From there we discussed for a while before making our way over to another isle. There we came face to face with a curious figure. It appeared that he only guarded one of the isles and I was warned he would cut down anyone who he did not allow to cross. Stranger appeared to do something on the island. After most of them left however I stayed. Talking and discussing for quite a while with the entity as he left me with more questions than answers. Finally Ibis pulled me away from the entity. I tried my best to leave there with the limited knowledge I was given. But I needed to return, to seek more answers. He knew about the rot, he knew about things that were yet to come... Perhaps he can help me in my research. Though it seems I need to become "worthy" in his eyes.
First Encounter-
I remember the first night I met the Time Keeper. I was asked to return to the base while scouting. Apparently I was a candidate for whoever this person was. I was able to get out with the assistance of a fellow scout. I returned to the base, still dressed up in my medical gear. Once inside I was called into the Alpha room, I had only been in there a few times, some pleasant. Some not so pleasant. However once inside I was told to convene with this entity. They sat me down in the centre of this room. Something along the lines of telling me to "Look inward". He touched my shoulder and the room went dark around me. I felt weightless, drifting amidst the darkness as I lay suspended and alone in this sea of night. A voice spoke from... within me? I guess you could say. It was certainly an odd experience. This "voice" whatever it may be claimed to be myself. An inner conscience of sorts. It told me to trust the person in front of me. I didn't believe them, hell I'm still not sure if I do. But it answered the question I gave it, something hardly anyone outside of a few would know.
A red glow appeared in my chest, rising up as the voice spoke to me. It told me I had a great power within, a potential untapped. I thought it nonsense, that this was all a trick played on my mind. Perhaps the foundation messing with reality once again. Whatever it was, I found myself back on the floor of Alpha with a start. Looking around as the Time Keeper pulled their arm away from my shoulder. I was simply told that the Time Keeper would be in touch, it seemed that this "Power" or whatever that was now inside of me was what he was after. I didn't feel anything different from this. It's all so confusing. The Time Keeper stated that my power was dangerous as well, so that is always fun to hear. I fear for the days ahead. They left me with little knowledge. All I can do is Wait I suppose....
They later pulled me to this place between realms? Or something of the like. Where I met with the other aspect wielder that the Keeper had found. They had a Magenta Aspect. Turns out they have the ability of foresight? Something with seeing things how they are. And it turns out that I have the Aspect of Wrath. It's puzzling, I've never thought of myself as a wrathful person. But after everything that happened back at Area-87-B-3... No matter, perhaps the wrath portion doesn't pertain to the person. And more so only involving the aspect within. I acquired Hesh's communications and am hoping we never have to meet on the field.
-Second Encounter
The second time I met with them it was weird. I felt inherently drawn to a place on surface. A cave with transparent amber crystals. A portal suddenly opened. The Time Keeper emerged from the violet void. Their blank stare seemingly looking past my mask. Gazing internally as they spoke. They told me to enter, informing me of another person that would be joining us. They were simply known as "The Cartographer". When we stepped through the portal and into this peculiar area we entered an area known as "The Garden". There was a translucent fountain in the middle with trees bordering the outside. A faint light leaked down from above the fountain however there seemed to be no visible source. The man known as the Cartographer stepped through after the three of us were assembled. They seemingly made maps of some kinds however they were rather eccentric. It seemed they require our help with retrieving their daughter from some sort of abyss or something along the lines. Any way they decided to go over by Hesh for a while. They did something of sorts, I'm not quite sure. However at the end the Cartographer cut their palm. Seemingly making a "Blood Pact". It was rather unsightly if I must say. Then they walked over to me. The Time Keeper placed their hand on my shoulder. And something happened. I'm not sure if this was just artificial rage that I was experiencing or if it had reached into my soul and dragged out my repressed memories. Memories of things that I never wished to revisit. It enraged me so, reminded me of why the foundation deserves to be called the good ones. They aren't just, they aren't right. The heroes aren't the ones who are on the right side. They are simply the ones on the side of the victors. All of these thoughts swelled and rose. I screamed in anguish, blood trickling from me mouth and eyes. And suddenly it dissipated. I would like to never experience something like this again. Sana assisted me when I went back to the cell. They are much too kind to me....
Where are you? What happens next?
-Content warning: Slight Gore-
Negotiations have been getting worse with every encounter lately. Each capture drives tensions higher and the recent deaths of members have only increased hostilities. Hell it was only a few days ago that foundation members tried to capture me practically in town limits..... I fear at this rate we will delve into a state of torturing and mindless killing. What's the end of this?
I don't want a repeat of that day. The day where they had one of our scouts and we had a doctor of theirs. I tried my fucking best to get them to listen, To get their assistant site director to be reasonable. But they didn't, they didn't care one bit. They were willing to throw away the life of their doctor just for a simple scout. And I was there, right beside the men who did it. I managed to stave off torture from the poor man. I heard his voice shaking and he hadn't done anything to us. But they didn't give our scout back. Instead they decided to kill him.... for good.... he didn't wake up. And thus the interrogator decided to proceed. Despite my protests. Who was I to stop them? Surely the foundation deserved this right? They killed our man, we have full justification to kill one of theirs in return. So why do I feel so.... "wrong".
They called the two drakes down to the cells and let them in. I heard the pleads, my fists clenched as I braced myself. I wanted to stop it, hearing the snarling from them. Finally I tried to move, walking forward until a hand fell on my shoulder to hold me back. Looking back at them I received the news that I welcomed the least. The Commander had ordered it, what could I do? Go against him? The man who welcomed me into the cell despite what I did? Despite all my transgressions? I couldn't. No matter what I did I couldn't bring myself to rush in there and stop it. I heard the crunch of his bones, the screams of the poor man who did what he could to appease us as his blood was splattered across the walls. The screams over the radio as it was broadcasted to all of the foundation through their comms. I was nearly sick, clutching my head as I had to walk away..... It wasn't his fault. It was the fault of his superiors. That damned ASD. So why did he have to pay the price?
When I eventually heard it stop. I peeked back in, and I wish I hadn't. The concrete glistening with the freshly torn blood. Bits of flesh resting in the small puddles. My gaze eventually finding its way up to the poor doctor lying beneath the drakes. He was missing both of his legs as well as his right arm. His left arm in a bad way but still intact. It seemed he had managed to fend them off of that limb at least through sheer willpower. His other limbs weren't so lucky however. We quickly got them up into medbay. I hesitated for a moment, but they needed my help. I was able to shake the horror of the sight away from my mind, after all. I had seen much worse.
I began operating quickly, other then his left arm his limbs were a loss. So I got to work. Instructing the medics I had assisting me to begin work on bandaging their other limbs. Using my skills over the years I was able to salvage his left arm. Somehow he had avoided damage to critical areas as well as any damage to the tendons and ligaments. I managed to stop any bleeding and wrapped up his arm before beginning to tend to other various wounds. Apparently the Commander told us to stop bandaging up the wounds. But I didn't hear, I was too deep in my work. Too focused to hear anything outside of the vital monitor. Finally.... as if it wasn't enough for the poor man. I felt him awoke. Looking up they seemed to have awaken him somehow. My heart sunk as I saw them walking Gluttony into the room. I couldn't bear to witness it, and I did something I rarely ever do.... I left the operating room. I knew they wouldn't kill him, that wasn't their goal. But to leave him in the worst possible way.... It disgusted me, was it better then death? Perhaps only by a little. But the higher ups wanted to send a message. And I was not to interfere. I could see some operatives watching me, no doubt aware of my tendency to try and do so. An Alpha steadied me as I leaned on the wall. Holding me back and away as I tried to clear my mind. Breathing heavily as I couldn't take it any more. The stress of that night was too much to bear. I don't remember what happened that night after that. I-I think I took my mask off..... and "she" showed up...
Just a few days ago another one of our members was captured. This time they held them for an hour. Not letting them go and ignoring all of our communication attempts. Every last one, I was wracked with worry and figured they were torturing them. Finally we gathered our forces and attempted to raid for them back. And do you know what they did? They fucking sacrificed them. They did a fucking ritual with the skull. The skull of the Sarkic's that constantly plague our area and slaughter dozens of us for good. Luckily he woke up shortly after, and I didn't have to witness two deaths by the foundation.
The next day a fair amount of Sarkic activity happened on the surface, maybe its coincident, maybe not. But the foundation needs to be put in check here one way or another. I think they've forgotten to be mindful of their hubris, but we'll show them.
-Content warning: Dark tones-
Tá breis agus bliain caite ó chaill mé an bheirt agaibh. Níl sé éasca na laethanta seo dúiseacht gan tú beirt le mo thaobh. Níl a fhios agam fiú cad ba mhaith liom a bhaint amach anseo. Roinnt laethanta n’fheadar ar cheart dom a bheith beo. Ba chóir dom a bheith léim isteach chun tú a shábháil. Ba chóir go mbeadh níos mó déanta agam. Is fada ó shin mé ag guí, ag impí, agus fiú ag iarraidh maithiúnas, ach ní dóigh liom gur leor é. Is cuma cé mhéad a shábháil mé, is cuma cé mhéad a chuidím. Ní thabharfaidh sé ar ais thú, mé díreach. Ba mhian liom go mbeinn in ann tú a choinneáil i mo lámha arís. Imríonn an oíche sin i m'intinn anois is arís, Ar nós víreas a ionfhabhtaíonn m'anam. Gortaíonn sé...
Bleeds mo chroí mar a fheiceann mé spléachadh de tú araon. Cuireann rudaí an bheirt agaibh i gcuimhne dom i gcónaí. Gáire eolach fhuaimiúil, duine atá cosúil. An oiread agus a dhéanaim iarracht, ní féidir liom é a choinneáil isteach. Uaireanta d'fhan mé suas ar feadh laethanta. Ní féidir codladh, ní sásta a chodladh. Gach uair a dhéanaim feicim d’aghaidheanna arís. Ag stánadh orm, agus ní féidir liom déileáil leis sin. An pian a fhios agam go raibh mé an ceann a bhí beo. Níl sé tuillte agam maireachtáil. Déanta na fírinne má chaill mé cuimhní an bheirt agaibh. Ní dóigh liom go bhféadfainn dul ar mo chónaí... Mothaíonn an domhan seo chomh gruama agus folamh. Tá mo shaol sracadh as mo lámha agus níl a fhios agam ... cad a dhéanfaidh mé? Tá a fhios agam go ndéarfadh an bheirt agaibh nach ormsa atá an locht... ach tá. Sin an fáth a bhfuil mé ag dul a dhéanamh gach rud is féidir liom. Sábhálfaidh mé gach duine a fheicim, ní lúbfaidh mé choíche. Ní bhrisfidh mé go deo.
Is cuimhin liom cad a dúirt tú liom Aoife. "In ainneoin uafás an domhain, ní mór duit a bheith mar an té a lasann tríd. Geall dom é sin, an fitheach beag"
Tá súil agam nuair a thiocfaidh an lá go mbeidh muid go léir le chéile arís.
Tá súil agam, in ainneoin gach rud, go ndearna mé bródúil as tú
Chuaigh mé ar ais go dtí ár sean láthair... cuimhin leis an áit sin? Ba bhreá linn go léir dul ann aon uair a fuaireamar sos ónár gcuid oibre. Bhí na tithe tábhairne go léir go hálainn. Ach bhraith siad chomh uaigneach gan tú beirt. Is cuma cé chomh deacair déanaim iarracht mé díreach. Ní féidir liom logh dom féin. Dúirt an oiread sin daoine liom dul ar aghaidh. Chun mo shaol a chaitheamh, ach conas is féidir liom? Tá mé ag teip, outcast. Deir na daoine seo go léir go bhfeiceann siad suas dom anois. Ach cá fhad a mhairfidh sé sin? Nuair a thagann an fhírinne chun cinn, nuair a thiteann an veil. Nuair a nochtar mé ... cad é mar sin? An iompóidh an t-admiration ina disgust? An mbeidh dímheas iontaobhais ann?
Tá mé fós ag déanamh mo dhícheall chun tú a dhéanamh bródúil as an mbeirt. Fiú amháin anois cabhraím leo siúd a chuireann i mo choinne. Chun saolta a shábháil fiú mura gceapann na daoine timpeall orm gurb é sin an rud ceart le déanamh. Níl uaim ach an bheirt a dhéanamh bródúil. An droch rud é sin? Chun guí ar son na síochána, go mian liom saol níos fearr do gach duine?
Gheall na daoine thuas deis dá leithéid dom. Ní bheadh an bunús in ann a leithéid de sprioc a bheith aige go deo. Tá siad ró-dhírithe ar gach rud a choinneáil leo féin. Caithfidh siad a fhoghlaim nach bhfuil sé ar fad fúthu. Is don chine daonna é.
Enough is enough, there comes a point when I can tolerate torture just barely. As a means to an end. As a means to gather information. But there is a point that when it simply is pushed too far. When torture is used as less of a tool. And as a weapon, as a means to justify sadism through the means of a "message".
Am I hypocrite? Yes, the thought of her blood on my gloves still lingers in my mind. However most of these foundation are simply doing their job, what they feel is right. They keep tortures from me, shielding them from my eyes and not informing me till they are over due to my past tendency to object. And even when I am aware of them, I am often barred from getting close. Especially if its a damn "message". But no longer, I live by my code of honour, and I have slipped, fallen even. No more.
There is a difference between showing power, and cruelty. We are supposed to be making humanity better. Not tearing them down. Hate the leaders, not the men who just are trying to live another day.
The ethics ambassadors of Site-66? No, they are simply another blight it seems. For until they cut out the member who came after innocent lives. Innocent families. Then I will have no respect for them. The countless number of times I have had to reign in my men to not do such despicable acts only to have a member from their team go and do the same thing? They call us terrorists, but with these actions they are no better then the rest of us.
I held a rite of passing with Zealot. Their family deserved no such fate. And I wished them the best in the next life, the afterlife. Wherever they might go. They shouldn't have suffered like this.
I'm sorry Zealot, I truly am.
I'd almost forgotten about him. I hope Jessie is doing alright, last time I saw them they weren't doing so well. Hopefully the foundation actually takes care of them. I had made a bit of progress last time I saw them. I guess that will no longer be the case as I imagine they will be prohibited from seeing me. It shouldn't bother me so. However I worry for them. I'm not sure how they found themselves in this life. But I feel they don't belong. They mean well with their defence against the anomalous. I'm sure they will go far if they continue to pursue this line of work. But they're going to get hurt one day, and I fear that the foundation will leave them behind like they've done to others that I worried for.
Cypress's hate seems to grow for me more and more. Perhaps they believe I meant to corrupt the poor boy and make him defect. I do not care for defections, they end up in more death then anything. If anything I want them to leave. To a more calm site, one where death doesn't come for us every waking second. But I know that will not be the case. Perhaps he will find success, perhaps he won't. I shouldn't care.
So why do I worry?
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
[Update Detected: Amending to previous journal]
I knew I was right to worry. They brought him along to a raid. A fucking raid. That boy looked awful. The only reason he made it out unscathed was because I stepped in and pulled strings. Every time I've tried to give the foundation grace. To let us both focus on the bigger matters at hands. They decide to underhand and use the same tactics they condemn. I don't hold what I've done for people over their heads. But to see Red immediately torture someone after I pulled them in and treated them? To see that after I advocated for a Xi-8 to be returned to the foundation without injury. To see that they tortured a scout. A person who very well could have simply been an enlisted.
And yet I still am unable to turn a blind eye when needed. Why am I cursed with such feelings.
I will hold out hope. I know I must do what is right.
I don't believe I've ever spoken to Snow-Leopard that much before. I sat there in the forgotten realm. Staring at stars when he was suddenly beside me. We talked, I quickly brought up the burning question in my mind. The one man I had seen beside them countless times. Vincent Lockwell, I tried to inquire about what had happened? I didn't get much in response. Snow Leopard seemed hesitant on giving me much in terms of answers. The only thing that I could ascertain from this was that they did something to Lockwell. I don't know how much I can trust Snow. However I don't believe it beyond the realm of possibility that the foundation broke him. That they stripped away something from him. Something that made him who he was. Perhaps that was what Snow meant by the stag being shot. Whatever it is, I must get to the bottom of this. If it happened to him, it will happen again.
He was a good man, loyal to a fault. I fucking warned him, I should have done more. I couldn't have done more, they wouldn't have listened to me.
I can't let this distract me. I must focus on my research. On my goals. On my projects.
Yes.... I'm sorry Lockwell. I'm sorry you weren't able to make it out.
These past few weeks I've felt myself slipping. Falling deeper and deeper into this pit of carelessness. I've seen blood flow like paint these past days. And yet I move not to stop it. My feet that used to jump to cease any activity that would bring needless harm and violence. My hands that always worked to save as many as I could. My mind that felt anger anytime I saw people being wounded. I fear I am becoming numb to such things. The longer I spend in this cell the more I sink. The more I fall.
The conversation and time I spent with Siegfried was a rare moment I felt like the woman I once was. A rare moment that I felt I could be myself. Not as Talongrove, not the Lieutenant Colonel that people have come to see me as.
Just me.
I always state that I do everything for the Insurgency. And I do, but I can't forget the vow I once took. The vow that I pledged myself to. The phrase I believed in. To the cause I still believe in. Though the foundation may still tout their belief in such a phrase and claim they follow it. They hold corruption near their heart. In the very people they entrust to lead their ethics and choices. They traded back an anomaly to us. An anomaly they know we use in our raids against their own personnel. Why? Why did they deem it a good idea to hand back the anomaly they swore to contain. An anomaly that can be used to harm people? Just another lie that they cling to. That they contain anomalies at any cost. The foundation I knew would stop at nothing to just contain another anomaly.
Their damned Omega-1 started this whole thing again. I will not idly sit here and claim that our Insurgents are free of scrutiny. That we did not assist in escalating this issue higher and higher. However it all stemmed from that moment. Where the foundation deemed an execution necessary. A show of force from them will only cause a larger show to be held by our Insurgents. And it did. I no longer can hold Revenant and the others back. I'm now silenced when I attempt to refute torture. Told I'm far too soft and that this is retribution for their transgressions. I've done what I could, I stalled and averted unnecessary violence for as long as I could. I can't do much more. At the end of the day I serve the Insurgency. What the Commander's decree I do.
At times I fear I should not stay in this place much longer. I fear its slowly tearing me apart. Yet I have so many projects to do, so many things to solve. Obligations to fulfill, but I fear that those are all useless if I lose myself in order to get there. I cannot forget the vows I made, the promises I proposed. And the duties I have been handed.
I will continue doing what I can for humanity. I will assist where I can, I will not let this cell break me. I will not let Site-66 be the site that causes me to fall.
I will die in the dark to help humanity live in the light for just another day.
Quite a lot has happened as of late. My mind can hardly keep up. I had left one weekend in order to assist another cell with medical duties after a particularly rough patch of fighting. When I returned I found that the Commander had departed from Cell Omega-2. That was a first shock that I had to overcome. After that a rather large amount of events occurred rather quickly. I did my best to keep my head down and keep pushing. Despite everything going on.
I feel people's stares as I walk by. I hate it, it reminds me of how I was looked at when I was stationed at Cell Sunrise. The scars of my failures and triumphs are tucked away behind my mask. However the thoughts and memories lay fresh in my mind. It feels as if I carry a burden that never lightens. I hear of people scorned by my choices. Insurgents holding grudges that I feel should have long passed.
I do not care.
Let them hate me, I will bear their hatred to fuel myself. I do not live to be a nice person any longer. I exist for the sole purpose of my command and my oaths. My duty is to the commander. To be the right hand, to enforce what he decrees. I will not sully the oath I pledged to the position. I did not fail Envy, and despite my hesitance of Famine. He is the Commander, so I will follow. They can call me a terrorist, they can call me a traitor, they can call me a bastard. What matters to me is my oaths.
I gave my word as a Branán that I would die in the dark to further humanity. To let them live in the light. I gave my word that I would serve the Chaos Insurgency to better humanity. To assist in its evolution. In its journey to utilise the anomalous in order to create a better tomorrow. Even with my distaste to the foundation, to the life I left behind. I swore to stave off the darkness from the Light of Humanity. That still holds true. I swore an oath when I was young. I still follow these creeds that I hold to my heart. Those values that I follow as tradition. I will never dishonour my family. I can't lose the one thing I have left.
Back on topic, some events unfolded that I don't feel comfortable about placing here. No matter how secure our servers are. From there, Famine assumed control of Cell Omega-2. I won't lie and say that I am free of worry in the upcoming weeks. Tensions are already rising high with the TIU after their repeated attempts to disrupt our operations in the surrounding area. It frustrates me immensely. They put the citizens at risk simply out pride. They have an opportunity to let this whole thing fall away. To make things "right" in my Commanders eyes. Yet they don't, they choose to fuck it up. Out of a need for their pride and ego. They just have to be the man. If they would do their duty to the people and know their place. We could all move on. But the vultures by their side call for our blood.
Then there is the matter with the ghost market. They keep fucking with my men. They took Kirp, they killed Juno. I'm reaching my breaking point, I try and I try in this war torn land to hold some semblance of hope. To hold out that maybe one day the fruits of my labour may reach me so I am granted some respite from the things surrounding me. I have decided that if the source of the irritation known as the Ghost Market will not leave us alone. We shall eradicate them. The ghost market deals in bodies. More specifically human trafficking. I will not stand for this. The fact that the foundation is working with them when they are bringing in innocents. They are bringing in civilians into the world of the anomalous to be used as product with no regard for their actual lives.
It disgusts me, they are no better then the sarkics who consume the innocent.
Therefore I shall no longer treat them as such. I will execute those who stand in the way of making humanity better. To rise as mortals in this anomalous world plagued by gods and foul creatures. If the foundation stands in my way, then with a heavy heart. I shall strike them down as well. Those too fearful to fight will live to see another day. This is not out of malice, nor hatred. But necessity.
[System Message | Data Recovered | Displaying Edit logs below]
Quite a lot has happened as of late. I can hardly take it. My mind can hardly keep up. I had left one weekend in order to assist another cell with medical duties after a particularly rough patch of fighting. When I returned I found that the Commander had departed from Cell Omega-2. That was a first shock that I had to overcome. After that a rather large amount of events occurred rather quickly. I did my best to keep my head down and keep pushing. Despite my desire to give up. Despite everything going on.
I feel people's stares as I walk by. I hate it, it reminds me of how I was looked at when I was stationed at Cell Sunrise. Where I was viewed as a traitor. The scars of my failures and triumphs are tucked away behind my mask. However the thoughts and memories lay fresh in my mind. It feels as if I carry a burden that never lightens. I hear of people scorned by my choices. Insurgents holding grudges that I feel should have long passed. I feel the stares of those I have killed and those who I have failed to save.
They haunt me. I do not care.
Let them hate me, I will bear their hatred to fuel myself. I do not live to be a nice person any longer. I exist for the sole purpose of my command and my oaths. My duty is to the commander. To be the right hand, to enforce what he decrees. I will not sully the oath I pledged to the position. I did not fail Envy, and despite my hesitance of Famine. He is the Commander, so I will follow. They can call me a terrorist, they can call me a traitor, they can call me a bastard. What matters to me is my oaths.
I gave my word as a Branán that I would die in the dark So that they may live in the light to further humanity. I gave my word that I would serve the Chaos Insurgency to better humanity. To assist in its evolution. In its journey to utilise the anomalous in order to create a better tomorrow. Even with my distaste to the foundation, to the life I left behind. That still holds true. I swore an oath when I was young. I still follow these creeds that I hold to my heart. Those values that I follow as tradition. I will never dishonour my family. I can't lose the one thing I have left.
Some events unfolded that I don't feel comfortable about placing here. No matter how secure our servers are. Famine assumed control of Cell Omega-2. I won't lie and say that I am free of worry in the upcoming weeks. Tensions are already rising high with the TIU after their repeated attempts to disrupt our operations in the surrounding area. It frustrates me immensely. They put the citizens at risk simply out pride. They have an opportunity to let this whole thing fall away. To make things "right" in my Commanders eyes. Yet they don't, they choose to fuck it up. Out of a need for their pride and ego. They just have to be the man. If they would do their duty to the people and know their place. We could all move on. But the vultures by their side call for our blood.
Then there is the matter with the ghost market. They keep fucking with my men. They took Kirp, they killed Juno. I'm reaching my breaking point, I try and I try in this war torn land to hold some semblance of hope. To hold out that maybe one day the fruits of my labour may reach me so I am granted some respite from the things surrounding me. I have decided that if the source of the irritation known as the Ghost Market will not leave us alone. We shall slaughter eradicate them. The ghost market deals in bodies. More specifically human trafficking. I will not stand for this. The fact that the foundation is working with them when they are bringing in innocents. They are bringing in civilians into the world of the anomalous to be used as product with no regard for their actual lives.
It disgusts me, they are no better then Nathalia who worked with the foundation to create machines of war from the minds of humans. the sarkics who consume the innocent.
Therefore I shall no longer treat them as such. I will execute those who stand in the way of making humanity better. To rise as mortals in this anomalous world plagued by gods and foul creatures. If the foundation stands in my way, so be it. then with a heavy heart. I shall strike them down as well. Those too fearful to fight will live to see another day. This is not out of malice, nor hatred. But necessity.
[System Message | Data Recovered | Displaying Edit logs below]
Quite a lot has happened as of late. I can hardly take it. My mind can hardly keep up. I had left one weekend in order to assist another cell with medical duties after a particularly rough patch of fighting. When I returned I found that the Commander had departed from Cell Omega-2. That was a first shock that I had to overcome. After that a rather large amount of events occurred rather quickly. I did my best to keep my head down and keep pushing. Despite my desire to give up. Despite everything going on.
I feel people's stares as I walk by. I hate it, it reminds me of how I was looked at when I was stationed at Cell Sunrise. Where I was viewed as a traitor. The scars of my failures and triumphs are tucked away behind my mask. However the thoughts and memories lay fresh in my mind. It feels as if I carry a burden that never lightens. I hear of people scorned by my choices. Insurgents holding grudges that I feel should have long passed. I feel the stares of those I have killed and those who I have failed to save.
They haunt me. I do not care.
Let them hate me, I will bear their hatred to fuel myself. I do not live to be a nice person any longer. I exist for the sole purpose of my creed command and my oaths. My duty is to the commander. To be their right hand, to enforce what he decrees. I will not sully the oath I pledged to the position. I did not fail Envy, and despite my hesitance of Famine. He is the Commander, so I will follow. They can call me a terrorist, they can call me a traitor, they can call me a bastard. What matters to me is my oaths.
I gave my word as a Branán that I would die in the dark So that they may live in the light to further humanity. I gave my word that I would serve the Chaos Insurgency to better humanity. To assist in its evolution. In its journey to utilise the anomalous in order to create a better tomorrow. Even with my distaste to the foundation, to the life I left behind. That still holds true. I swore an oath when I was young. I still follow these creeds that I hold to my heart. Those values that I follow as tradition. I will never dishonour my family. I can't lose the one thing I have left.
Some events unfolded that I don't feel comfortable about placing here. No matter how secure our servers are. Famine assumed control of Cell Omega-2. I won't lie and say that I am free of worry in the upcoming weeks. Tensions are already rising high with the TIU after their repeated attempts to disrupt our operations in the surrounding area. It angers frustrates me immensely. They put the citizens at risk simply out pride. They have an opportunity to let this whole thing fall away. To make things "right" in my Commanders eyes. Yet they don't, they choose to fuck it up. Out of a need for their pride and ego. They just have to be the man. If they would do their duty to the people and know their place. We could all move on. But the vultures by their side call for our blood.
Then there is the matter with the ghost market. They keep fucking with my men. They took Kirp, they killed Juno. I'm reaching my breaking point, I try and I try in this war torn land to hold some semblance of hope. To hold out that maybe one day the fruits of my labour may reach me so I am granted some respite from the things surrounding me. I have decided that if the source of the irritation known as the Ghost Market will not leave us alone. We shall slaughter eradicate them. The ghost market deals in bodies. More specifically human trafficking. I will not stand for this. The fact that the foundation is working with them when they are bringing in innocents. They are bringing in civilians into the world of the anomalous to be used as product with no regard for their actual lives.
It disgusts me, they are no better then Nathalia who worked with the foundation to create machines of war from the minds of humans. the sarkics who consume the innocent.
Therefore I shall no longer treat them as such. I will execute those who stand in the way of making humanity better. To rise as mortals in this anomalous world plagued by gods and foul creatures. If the foundation stands in my way, then with a heavy heart. so be it. I shall strike them down as well. Those too fearful to fight will live to see another day. This is not out of malice, nor hatred. But necessity.
\\\Classified Journals\\\