FAUX PAS
"false step" in French

FAUX PAS IN SPAIN 

DO NOT
-modify served food in any way. Like adding salt/spices, or god-forgive, adding ketchup. You will be looked at like an ignorant, unappreciative of their culture and heritage. If it is home-cooking, it may actually be considered an insult or reason for alarm.

-If you are invited to eat in a home be very appreciative of the food and don’t attempt to condiment it yourself. It’s mostly ok to add a bit of salt, eventually pepper, but if you ask for Tabasco, mustard, or (God forbid!) ketchup you will be hurting your host’s feelings.

-you cannot add ketchup to a paella.   But you can add olive oil to whatever you want. (Alejandro)

DO NOT
make gestures of disgust at food no matter how strange you find it. Many are considered items of regional pride (i.e. "Callos a la Madrileña" made out of pig tripe and stomach lining).

DO NOT
eat with your mouth open, eat on the go, drink coffee on a plastic or paper cup (unless it is Starbucks).

DO NOT
let people pay for you after lunch on a restaurant (they will try heartily, specially mid-age people) without a bit of a fight and ample thanking afterwards. (Make sure you let them win though!!)  Spaniards tend to be a generous lot when you are in their turf, but get disappointed if you don't appreciate the sacrifice.

DO NOT
talk too well about the USA... They have so much love-hate relationship with the empire, that their pre-conceived ideas of that country are best left untouched. 

DO NOT
remind them about racist matters in Spain. Like the treatment that Chinese, Arab or other African, Latino-American and East-Europeans get.

DO NOT
talk critically about royalty.  many take great respect towards the king. (2013 Update: After the king went elephant hunting in Africa and his son-in-law got caught with the emblezzement of public funds in the middle of a nation-wide economical hardship... The criticism has become more widespread. Not so much a taboo anymore).

DO NOT
show support for separatist initiatives on Catalonia or Basque region outside those regions. It is way too complex for you to pretend to fully grasp. It is easy to make enemies if you attempt that route.

DO NOT
Do not praise France for too long, especially how wonderful Paris is when you are in Madrid or Barcelona... A bit is OK, but if you go on and on, your audience will grow uncomfortable. There is just too much ancestral competition.


DO NOT
try to justify or say anything nice about the British colony of Gibraltar. Not ever, ever. Best left ignored.


DO NOT
have a limp handshake on men, or having a tense disposition when reached for a hug or customary double-cheek kiss on women

DO NOT
talk too praisingly of Madrid or Barcelona (or their respective soccer team) when visiting the opposite city.

DO NOT
try to be too elegant, polite or well-behaved. Specially around people your age or younger. Spaniards are very casual, swear profusely (in a non-insulting, humorous way) and are quite candid about their opinions. Too many good manners on your part and you may actually put them off instead of bonding.

DO NOT
tuck your hand under the table while eating.  ostensibly it's unacceptable and considered rude to not have your hands seen at all times. My left hand's presence under the table was actual disturbing my fellow diners. 

DO NOT
expect real napkins. At a home meal you'll see your Spanish eaters leaving their paper napkin to the side of their plate, and throughout cafes, tapas bars and smaller restaurants you'll likely be giving a metal box with thin napkins (if they can be called that) more or less the size of a Kleenex, however not nearly as soft. Expect to use around 15 per person when dealing with greasy food like churros and calamari sandwiches.

DO NOT
ask for doggy bags, it may present you with some dirty looks, or you could be shunned altogether as this practice hasn't caught on in Spain - although Pau Gasol starred in a commericial to popularize it.

DO NOT
Ask for butter; likely they won't even have it, or you'll get margarine instead. Best to use olive oil, it's plentiful. 

DO NOT
turn away your eyes when toasting with dinner companions.   Must keep eye contact when you chin-chin.

DO NOT
Talk about the Catalonia crisis at all, unless you are 100% sure to be in a group that sympathizes with your views.

DO NOT
go Dutch to the last cent, it’s seen as stingy. If you had visibly less to eat or drink it’s probable that your Spanish friends will tell you to pay less than the rest but it will usually be something approximate. 

DO NOT
snap your fingers to call a waiter is appalling, on the other hand writing in the air to ask for the check is OK unless you are in a fine restaurant, where it’s “la cuenta, por favor”.

DO NOT
((((use "tu" for customer service people?))) Remember that Spanish has a formal “you”, “Usted”. I would recommend using it by default for elder people and anyone in customer or public service, unless invited otherwise. If a friend introduces you to someone “tú” is normal unless it’s a very formal setting. Use “por favor”, “gracias” and “de nada”, a little courtesy goes a long way.

DO NOT
hug.  Do not kiss loudly.  People don’t hug, except close male friends with a pat on the shoulder. Women will usually greet another woman or a man with a kiss on each cheek. Not a real kiss, you press cheeks and make a kissing sound. A real loud kiss on the cheek is an abuela kiss and reserved for family members. Also nowadays in more urban settings there’s a tendency for men to greet each other with two kisses, but it’s far from universal, if in doubt shake hands.

DO NOT
dress as a "guiri".  For example, avoid the combination of a sleeveless sports shirt + running shorts + baseball cap, as if you were running a marathon. In general terms, try to look and behave as an average local.

DO NOT
talk too much about French or Californian wine, or Italian olive oil. 

DO NOT
say "Arriba España"!

The word 'arriba' is probably one of the first 10 words most people learn in Spanish, it is well known from Mexican Spanish as a cheer like 'bravo' 
or 'yeee-hah'. The word might also be known from a famous dish washing 
soap where Spanish town Villarriba was already partying when Spanish 
town Villabajo was still washing up.

'Arriba España' was one of the "battle cries" of Spanish fascism and 
dictatorship under Franco. It stands for the suppression of languages 
and cultures (of Basque, Catalan and Galician) and is comparable to 
saying 'Heil Hitler' in Germany.

DO NOT
discuss personal wealth.  A Spaniard will usually feel uneasy if asked about their salary, the value of their estate, how much they pay for (private) schooling, or other wealth-revealing numbers.

DO NOT
(((pay the bill for women?)))
-Women are not comfortable when you pay for them, love to be independent and are heavy drinkers also.

-A male in the company of females will always pay for the females even if there are some females in the group that you do not know. So if you are male and don't want to fund a group of female strangers avoid such situations.

DO NOT
sign your letters with XOXO (female genitalia)

DO NOT
ask a Catalan if catalan is a dialect of spanish. 

DO NOT
stretch your arms wide open, as in yawn and stretch.  Yawning is ok, as long as you cover your mouth with your hand. Stretching is not. Do that in public and even the waiter may reprimand you!

DO NOT
say anything about someone's Mother. Mothers are sacred. Period!

DO NOT
call the city of Barcelona by the football team's nickname "Barça". It's almost funny how it pisses the locals off.The "right" nickname for the city would be Barna.

DO NOT
expect spanish to be as celebratory of others as Americans tend to be.   there is an undercurrent of envy in Spanish culture, that instead of celebrating others' successes, in general, tries to tear others down.

DO NOT
order coffee with milk after a big meal / order paella at dinnertime.  Paella (and all similar rice dishes) are considered heavy to digest and would therefore rather get ordered at lunch than at dinner. Coffee with lots of milk is considered to be very nutrimential, so people might find it odd, if you order it afer a big dinner.

Shouting “Olé”, dressing like a “Sevillana”, in general conveying the idea that this is what Spain is outside Andalucia, being actually just an Andalucian thing.

Not kissing on both cheeks to someone of the opposite sex, that you have been introduced to, or between women. (social kissing is a gesture to indicate friendship)

Giving a handshake to a woman or girl.

Putting a black bull sticker on the back of your car, thinking it is a Spanish thing, and actually meaning a “I am a fascist”.

Conveying the idea that the whole country stops after lunch time because everyone is taking a “Siesta” or nap. It is also more of a shouthern thin

Never go barefoot. Ever.

Do not touch your food with your fingers. If you need to push it onto your fork, use a piece of bread or a knife.

Eat in order. If you have a salad, they will take it before you get your main. Don't try to keep nibbling on it. Go course by course, each one finished before the next.

Don't hug someone unless you know then really well.

If you leave the beach, wear a top and bottom over your suit, even if it is just to go get a water.

Talking about what you do professionally is fine, but not salary.

Don't wear running shoes and a baseball cap every single day everywhere you go, especially in the evening.

I have found that squeezing the fruit in some markets is frowned upon, but I am not certain if this is always a "no-no" or only in certain locales.

Never sing "Cara al Sol" (at least not publicly)

Don't assume that Spain is anything like Mexico. (especially for insular Americans!)

Comparing Portugal favorably to Spain in anything!

1 Being good (and/or fast, if applicable) at doing something. Your coworkers will hate you because you're making them look bad, and your boss will hate you because he thinks you want to overthrow him. That's why he's not even going to hire you, if he can avoid it. Keep in mind that Spain is small businessland.

2 In Spain people really hate to stand out, so you better keep being lazy and mediocre. If you don't, you have the word 'danger' written all over your face. Everybody must be like everybody else, don't you DARE to be different. That's why e.g. ALL Spanish actors are working-class stereotypes, unlike Hollywood actors who are unique people or archetypes.

3 Being young and not looking forward to retirement.

4 John Cleese said "It's the goal of every Englishman to get to his grave unembarrassed." Well, I'd say it's the goal of every Spaniard to get to his retirement unnoticed. This is a mix of points 2 and 3.

5 Not trying to be like everybody else. This is actually point 2, but I enjoy rephrasing it.

6 Not sharing the slave morality of the majority. Most people will tell you they are agnostic or atheist, when they actually have the Catholic/Communist values deeply ingrained within themselves: strength = evil, power = evil, weak = good, ambition = evil. Long story short, they just want to be slaves but HATE themselves for being slaves, but then they HATE their masters AND whoever doesn't want to be a slave. Nuts right.

7 Having money, which must unmistakably mean that you earned it through some form of thievery. Which in Spain is usually true, actually.

8 Being positive about things, specially about life itself. Spain has a cult to pain and suffering and death (see Semana Santa processions, bullfighting, etc.) This is hidden and most people won't accept it as true, because everybody here likes thinking they are so modern and European.

1. In Spain, avoid drinking excessive amounts of alcohol in public places. Spaniards usually enjoy wine and beer with their meals, but getting drunk onthe streets is frowned upon.

2. Avoid being too loud or disruptive in public, especially in Spanish residential areas, as most people prefer a more peaceful environment at home.

3. Tipping is not customary in Spain, and is only really done inthe streets can be seen as disrespectful and disruptive.

2. It is considered impolite to be too direct when doing business in Spain. Business is often conducted through personal relationships and acquiring trust takes time.

3. In Italy, avoid being too loud in public places. Italians value peace and quiet, and shouting or speaking loudly can be perceived as rude.

4. Tipping in Italy is not customary, so leaving extra money on the table at a restaurant or bar is unnecessary.

5. Dressing too casually can be perceived as disrespectful in Italy. Italians generally dress well when going out in public, so it's important to dress appropriately in order to blend in.

6. When greeting people in Italy, it is customary to shake their hand and give a light kiss on both cheeks (air-kissing). However, be cautious not to overdo it or make it too intimate, as this could be seen as inappropriate.

7. Refraining from discussing politics or religion is important in both Spain and Italy, as these topics can be contentious and easily offend people.

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