Swinglifestyle Swingers Party Dating Guide
What is the Swinglifestyle?
You probably see a swinger everyday, only you don't see them. Chances are that your neighbor, an associate at work or even a family member is a swinger. The sexually free are found in every community, and within every demographic. The LifeStyle is growing and reaching new levels all the time.
Only a few years ago, before the Internet era, swingers were essentially a secret society, meeting each other through dating magazines purchased at adult bookstores. Because of that, it was difficult to even guess at how many swingers there were.
Adult Swingers now, on the other hand, we can make fairly good estimates -- based on information coming from a variety of sources (including the Internet).
Adult Swingers in the past, meeting another couple often took weeks of mailing photos and writing letters before the meeting actually took place. If you lucked out and happened to live near a swingers club, it probably wasn't a very attractive or "upscale" place.
Today, the LifeStyle is evolving and becoming more mainstream. As the quality of swinger events, websites and clubs improves, more people are willing to join the fun.
The Internet LifeStyle dating websites have proven to be an invaluable tool for couples and singles looking to find like-minded adults. Whether you're looking for something voyeuristic or a full-blown orgy, you can find it online. Looking for a gang-bang, or some bi fun? You can find it online. A recent search at www.SwingLifeStyle.com yields pages of matches, many of which are within a mile of where you are. Now that's a swinger next door.
Numerous studies and polls give widely varying results on how many swingers there really are. However, it's pretty safe to assume that no less than one-half of a percent of the U.S. population is actively involved in some sort of sexual activity that falls into the general category of swinging.
Whether it's same room sex, a threesome or even an orgy, many sexual activities are included. At a minimum these studies indicate that a lot of people are receptive to the idea of swinging.
Most likely, the percentage is much greater. As knowledge and freedom expand, so will the numbers that participate. Even given the low estimates of half a percent -- that equals 1.5 million in the U.S. alone, or about 1 out of every 100 people of a sexually active age. Many swingers, especially females, are active in the LifeStyle due to bisexual curiosity. The man at the grocery store who looked your wife up and down may not just be thinking about her being naked - he may be thinking about her being naked with his wife. While most swinging is about two couples sharing fun and swapping partners, many swingers regularly participate in threesomes. Virtually all men fantasize about having two girls, and many women admit to fantasizing about sex with two men.
Adult Swingers, as each generation enters sexual maturity, with less sexually repressed attitudes, they are increasingly willing to experiment. Just as it has become more socially acceptable to be gay or lesbian, sexual attitudes toward bisexuals and partner swapping are also changing. The taboo that society places on everything it categorizes as "out of the norm" has kept both homosexuals and swingers in the closet. But today it almost seems cool to be Gay. Perhaps in a few years, it will be the "in thing" to be a swinger.
Given the thousands of swinger clubs, resorts, conventions, websites, private parties and related events, it's easy to agree that swingers are everywhere. As information becomes more freely available via the Internet, more and more couples talk about it and decide to give it a try. In the past it was quite difficult and time consuming to meet like-minded people using the magazines gleaned from the adult bookstores and that made it easy to give up. With the Internet, you're only a few clicks away from finding thousands of swingers who are just what you're looking for. Even if you enter a distance range, age range and other basic criteria, there are still too many results to consider. Narrow that search down and you've found several perfect matches that are only a few miles away. Looking for a couple with a bisexual female, between 35 and 40, within 20 miles? It's easy to find hundreds of them on the Internet. Additionally, LifeStyle clubs are evolving, becoming more elegant and attracting a broader range of people. Frequently, people in the LifeStyle attend a party or club and run into someone they know from work or some other social activity. Most swingers have a story about just such an occurrence. It usually goes something like this: "My wife and I go to swinger's parties often and one party we went to was great -- until our neighbor and his wife walked in. I was shocked and concerned that the whole neighborhood would find out. After I got over the initial shock, I realized that my neighbor was thinking the same thing. Of course neither of us told anyone, and we're now great friends as well as neighbors."
Adult Swingers, or people in the LifeStyle don't often talk about their LifeStyle to others. All seem to be very aware of the unwritten rules of privacy. For that reason, you can feel pretty secure that you won't be ratted out; we're all in the LifeStyle together. I've personally run into swingers at work, at dinner, at a strip club, at a non-swinger party, at nude beaches and in many other places. It almost seems like swingers develop the same sort of "radar" that gays are supposed to have. You start to pick up on things that others don't notice: the couple at the local night club dancing a little too close, or a bit too risque. Or maybe it's the couple at the coffee house where the female is wearing something WAY too sexy for a coffee house -- especially on a Tuesday. What about the two couples you've seen, and then you can't figure out which of the males and females are together?
Swingers Dating Websites
Adult Swingers, have you seen a neighbor walking from the front door to the car, wearing a long overcoat, in August? Maybe she's wearing something a bit too sexy under that coat. I've begun to notice some couples' reaction when a sexy lady walks by at the local pizza place. It's very interesting to see when they both turn to watch as she walks away. That's a pretty big clue. Yes, swingers are everywhere, and if you look, you'll see them. A few careful questions later, you'll be able to confirm that they are, in fact, swingers.
As Adult Swingers, we live in South Florida and are blessed with a variety of clubs to choose from. We have six clubs within a thirty-minute drive and each club is packed full of people every Saturday night. Each weekend there are also several private parties, hotel parties and other events from which to choose. With all the things for swingers to do, it's obvious there are plenty of people in the LifeStyle.
Adult Swingers are those interested in the LifeStyle who develop enough courage to investigate beyond the curiosity stage are often surprised when they discover how easy it is to find swingers so close to them. Those new to the LifeStyle often find that their preconceptions about the LifeStyle were way off. Swingers are not the middle-aged, overweight 1960's rejects as the stereotype suggests. They are normal people, the same people you see everywhere. They go to the grocery store, to the baseball game and to the movies. Swingers are not sexually deviant and perverse. They simply enjoy their sexuality and are more open about it than most.
For Adult Swingers, as the taboo of swinging starts to lift, people begin to realize it is a LifeStyle that allows them to define their own rules and have a good time without being judged. At a club or LifeStyle event you can dance however you want to, say whatever you feel, watch the sexy girls or most anything - without concern for "what other people think." The best part of it all is that most of the neighbors you encounter will have similar rules or are at least willing to abide by whatever rules you have set for yourself. Of course, if you want to party wildly and have sex with almost anyone (as the stereotype suggests) there are plenty of people to play with. If, on the other hand, you prefer friendship at first or only touching and fondling, there are plenty willing to do that as well. If you want to go out for dinner with a couple, maybe dance and drink, that's fine. Then if sparks begin to ignite you take it all the way. Many neighbors may be interested in the LifeStyle but have never done anything of the sort before. If they only knew you were in the LifeStyle, perhaps they would seek your advice or counsel. We have helped to introduce many that were interested in the LifeStyle, but needed a gentle hand to guide them.
Beginners Guide for Swinging Couples
A lot of couples reach a point in their relationship where they’re a little bit bored… or, they become interested in other people. It’s natural—some would even argue that humans weren’t made to be monogamous. But regardless of your position on monogamy, it’s normal to look at other people and maybe even imagine having sex with them.
Swinging is a good way for couples to explore their sexuality and spice up their own sex lives while still feeling safe in their relationship. It’s more comforting than having an open relationship, as your partner is typically still in the vicinity.
While swinging does seem enticing, it can be a murky—and potentially dangerous—territory for first-timers. Let’s get into a few tips that’ll help you decide whether you’re ready to swing, as well as some tips to make that first step.
Talk it over beforehand with your partner.
While you may be excited about the prospect of hooking up with other couples, your partner may not be as thrilled about it. It’s important to make sure the two of you are on the same page. Don’t try and strongarm your lover into swinging, as that will only create resentment and jealousy.
Make sure the both of you understand what swinging actually is. Sure, it’s fun to have sex with other people—maybe it’s your kink to have your husband or wife watch you have sex with someone else. But do yourself a favor and educate yourselves on the lifestyle.
Try and find a mentor—someone who lives a swinger lifestyle and can tell you about the pros and cons of it. Be that online or in real life. You’ll be opening yourself up to diseases and you’ll have to place an importance on safe sex once again.
Swinging is not a way to fix a relationship in turmoil. It’s not going to rekindle a burnt-out relationship and it definitely won’t improve your sex life if it’s bad to begin with. That will only create resentment, jealousy, and ultimately, the end of your relationship. On the other hand, swinging is great for confident couples who are able to taper their insecurities. You and your husband or wife may even grow closer as a result of swinging.
This is probably the most important step to follow. It’s also the number one rule that those new to swinging don’t follow, which makes their swinging experience a disaster.
Every couple will have their own rules. It’s important to talk to your partner to find out what they are and aren’t comfortable with and to honor that. If your partner doesn’t want you to kiss anyone else, respect that. Discuss possible scenarios that could happen and make sure you both would handle them the same way. Set boundaries—figure out what’s appropriate and isn’t.
At the end of the day, only you and your spouse can decide what is okay and what isn’t.
Do not get attached or jealous.
You definitely do not want to get attached to anyone that you and your spouse end up having sex with. Keep the act to the physical nature of it. Don’t exchange phone numbers if it isn’t absolutely necessary. If you feel yourself getting attached to one of your playmates, distance yourself from them. Don’t put yourself in situations that could hurt your partner because, at the end of the day, swinging is a couple activity.
Likewise, try not to get angry-jealous. This is why it’s important to set up rules beforehand. If you aren’t comfortable with your husband performing oral sex on another woman, make that known. Limit the possible scenarios that could leave you jealous.
Nowadays, you can find just about anything online. That includes sexual partners who are interested in just about any kink or fetish you can think of. Scoping out potential couples online to swing with is a safe way to discover the scene and narrow down what you and your spouse are looking for. It’s a more inactive approach to swinging than going to a swingers club, but it’s less daunting than the club.
One thing to keep in mind regarding online dating is that you need to make sure you’re safe. Maybe first plan to meet couples at a coffee shop if you’re interested in meeting them beforehand. If you’re not, still meet up somewhere public and walk to where you’re going to play together. Don’t give someone your address over an app.
Try the swingers’ club.
Finally, after meeting up with a few couples online, establishing yourself in the swingers’ scene, and working out the kinks, you and your spouse may feel ready to go to the swingers’ club. If you’re more comfortable doing things online, more power to you, but a club is a totally different experience.
One thing a swinger’s club isn’t is an orgy. Instead, a swinger’s club is more like a bunch of smaller groups having sex. Most clubs have private rooms you can retreat to with whoever you choose, so you don’t have to have sex out in the open if that’s not what you want to do. There’s also swinger’s club etiquette—no one’s going to approach you and just begin to touch you inappropriately. There and signs and signals and people use to signify interest, so do some research on that beforehand.
With all of that said, swinging can be a very liberating experience. It’s a great way to strengthen the bond between you and your spouse while still enjoying the experience of having sex with different people. Successful swingers are known to cheat less and are much happier overall. So, if you and your partner decide you’re interested, establish some rules, start slow, and be safe.