An Actually Good Gift Guide For College Students

By me, A College Student

I love gift guides, I really do, but boy do they leave something to be desiredin the college age range. Even on Goop it’s like “here’s some trendy headphones for teenagers, bish bash bosh.” We don’t need trendy headphones. We need headphones that won’t break and earbuds that won’t lose the little ear condom part. We need wireless headphones because the tech world hates 3.5mm jacks, and wireless headphones with a battery that will last from my first class until rehearsal ends at 9.

No, actually, let’s address this. Every gift guide for teenagers lists headphones as their first item. We have headphones! We need headphones in our day to day lives! When we need headphones we don’t say “Oh well, maybe Santa will bring me some.” We buy new headphones!!! How else are we supposed to not bother our sleeping roommates while we listen to the Far Cry 5 soundtrack again??? How else are we supposed to signal to freshman we see on our way to class that no, we don’t want to talk? Please do not buy your college student headphones unless they specifically say “I care about the quality of audio I receive and would appreciate the investment in an expensive piece of equipment.”

See also: wireless speakers.

So I present to you: A Gift Guide For College Students, By A College Student. All of these gifts are readily available and under $100, because for some reason the internet wants us to think we all should be dropping $250 on kids you’re just going to have to buy graduation gifts for eventually.

1. A Candle Warmer

Give your best college acquaintance the gift of getting RAs off your back. Dorm living sucks no matter which way you cut it, but one thing that always really bothered me was that no open flames are allowed. At least, not in most old dorms like mine. Enter this candle warmer, found in the clearance rack at target. I stuck a candle under it, and not only does the candle melt, it doesn’t melt down as quickly so it lasts longer. Consider buying them a few fun scented candles to go with it like The Boyfriend Candle or wax melts scented like literary figures (just stick the melts in a jar under the lamp)!

A Weighted Blanket

Look, you can’t give a college student the gift of fixing the incredibly anxiety-making environment of college education, but you can get them something to help them forget it. Weighted blankets make it hard to get out of bed but we’re college students! Getting out of bed is the hardest part of our day regardless! Also, if you are someone who likes to entertain bed guests, I see no cooler pickup line than “This blanket will make you feel calm it’s on my bed go ahead and try it ouuuuut.”

Always ask for clear confident and enthusiastic consent, friends!

Food. Delivery. Gift. Cards.