Government to Act as Pillow Carnage Escalates

Pillow Ban Immanent?

The government has hastily introduced new legislation to ban pillows, with hefty fines for anyone caught in possession and possible gaol terms for people carrying concealed pillows in a public place..

This latest move is in response to a worrying rise in reported casualties occasioned by the increasing use of these dangerous weapons - as exemplified by this latest street gang incident (See video).

The government's "Get Tough on Pillows" stance does however have its critics who claim that its policy on pillows is too soft . They say that it does not go far enough and the ban should be extended to include cushions,

To help the drive to get pillows off the streets, one scheme that is being considered is a pillows-for-guns exchange in which any gang member who hands over his pillow to the authorities will receive a free gun. . . (more nonsense to follow).