Somatic Role Play

How do you talk to women you are attracted to?

Do you speak fast? Ask a lot of questions? Do you lean forward slightly or raise your shoulders? Do you make yourself smaller or are you puffing your chest up? Do you speak with expression and emotions or in a logical way?

And how is it affecting her?

Is she stepping back? Does she feel relaxed or does she become slightly defensive? Does she feel attracted or repelled? What is it that you do that lights her up? What turns her off?

Whatever your patterns are, it is likely that you play them over and over unconsciously and that they greatly affect your success with women.

On top of that those patterns are often the surface of deeper nervous system and attachment patterns: Leaning forward might be the manifestation of an anxious attachment strategy where there is urgency to secure connection.

For example, if someone is talking too fast, getting the woman to close off, we might say with compassion and curiosity “I notice that you have a lot to say, I wonder what kind of energy is behind that? And how does it feel in the body?”

We can then study the energy, access the deeper patterns and start shifting them using Somatic Therapy.

After having identified a pattern and processed the underlying material we can try something new. It might be speaking a little slower. We might notice how different it feels for you and for her, and how this in turns affects the feelings of connection and attraction between the two of you.

This work is informed by Hakomi Somatic Therapy, building on Mindfulness, Non-violence, Organicity and Body-Mind Connection