Size Tunes 2017

Music for all sizes

This is only the culmination of years of thoughts about a shrunken man. The idea of stalking my pray, in this case a fetching male, then turning him into a very small human being, only a couple of inches in height, and finally taking that tiny man with me, to live together forever, has been the reason for my writing original songs, and parodying a few that already existed.

Why does any of that have to become a contest?


Many of you are musicians.

And talented ones. A few of you can sing like angels, and play instruments. Does that mean you can write music? Yes, in some cases you know it does. Does it follow that you should, or want to put together a song? Well, as it happens, it does.

Many of you are not musicians.

Maybe you used to be, or never were, and when you sing flowers die and cats weep. It doesn't matter. That's where I find myself. I only received minimal music training, and I can't read (or write notation) to save my life.

Many of you have already done this.

You've already sat down at your computer, and have already recorded yourself singing about a giantess, or a woman that shrinks you, or a very small man. As I've mentioned, I've done it. I've written songs about him, about the dollhouse, about his life with me.

Many of you have expressed a wish to do this.

I asked you if you were interested in a size-related song-writing contest. You said yes. Would you like to see proof? Twitter, have at them!

What do you win?

Nothing but love! Tons of love and fun, and possibly some groupies. This is for fun only. You retain the rights to everything you create, except of course making it known that you wrote which song, but only until the contest is over and voting ends and a winner is chosen, some time in November. Given the nature of this contest, I'm still not entirely persuaded to make every entry anonymous, as I have no idea that I'll receive any!

What is Size Tunes, then?

It's a song-writing contest. A music-and-lyrics contest, with a sub-level of lyrics only, for those that find the prospect of coming up with actual music too daunting, or just not interesting – or simply don't have a way to record the music in their heads. For the rules, follow me to the next section...