The Reality of Indian Marriages

“I would never get an arranged marriage; that sucks.” As Indians, we have heard this a fair few times when other folks talk about Indian arranged marriages. Frankly speaking, not many people here in America understand the current reality of our marriages.

Looking back at history, it is true that decades ago, Indian arranged marriages were true to their definition. They were, in fact, arranged, and they were more centered around the parents'/elderly decisions. Females or even males were forced to marry whoever their parents decreed, and that was that. Arranged marriages were primarily conducted for financial gain, an increase in public status, or, rarely, for love.

Let us now come to reality. What happened all those years ago in India is what everyone first thinks about when discussing arranged marriages. It’s not wrong to believe such, but many simply don’t understand how things have changed. Nowadays, an arranged marriage is more so just a cultural tag that is placed on marriages. Individuals will find other people through matrimonial sites, family members, etc. Once they find someone they like, it is customary for the parents to talk with one another, and then phone numbers will be exchanged of the prospective couple. Then they can talk to each other and find out one another’s interests, goals, dislikes, etc. After all this talking and a mutual understanding is met, they proceed to get married or say they are not interested and move on. Simply put, that is how it works.

The concept of arranged marriages is simply a name tagged on because you are “arranging” a meeting amongst people who find initial interest in one another and have an end goal of getting married. The structure that follows is quite different.

Now I do not want to mislead anyone and say that all Indian people have changed to this new system. Some people still believe those past ways and enforce those on their children, and there is not much we can do to change them because they have grown up during those periods, and they are enforcing what they lived through. In other words, these people are still present in India, but the newer generation of individuals are moving away from this and putting more freedom on their kids.

Overall, the majority of arranged Indian marriages have changed. While there may be some outliers of people, that should not speak for the majority. Communication, choice, and time are all given and available to prospective brides and grooms. When both have agreed, then they have a wedding. That wedding is called an Indian arranged marriage. One last thing, if you have some free time on your hands, take a look at "Indian Matchmaking," it is a series on Netflix that represents just how Indian arranged marriages have changed.

TK & AP