Embedded Files
Printers are people too
Printers are people too
- What is the most common way to murder a printer?
- CYAN-ide poisoning
- What is a Printer's least favorite insect?
- The R-G-Bee
- Where does a mad scientist order his wide format graphics?
- Franken-signs
- A guy walked into a sign shop and ordered a rigid sign that was the size of the whole sheet pf material. A few weeks later he brought the same sheet back and had them print something else on it. Without fail every few weeks he would bring that same sheet of material back and have them reprint it. Eventually the manager had to ask the guy why he kept having them re-print the same sheet.
- He responded, "You know what they say, same sheet different day."
- Why do Prepress make such great astronauts?
- They have lots of experience working in color space
- Why did the prepress designer get a job as a hostage negotiator?
- They always want higher resolutions!
- Why did Skeletor only print full color banners?
- Only He-Man could print "By the power of Gray-scale!"
- What do you call a dog, with one parent in CMYK color space and one parent in RGB color space?
- A Gam-mut
- What type of signs did the founding fathers usually order?
- Sometimes they ordered Amendment-Boards, but usually they just ordered Bill-boards.
- What design software did 12th century monks use?
- Adobe Illuminator
- What design software do Cowboys use?
- Corral Draw
- Why can sales and pre-press never get along?
- They are always getting into Tif's over artwork
- What brand of print products do Buddhists and Hindus prefer?
- 3-oM products
- What is Gold-Finger's favorite materia to print on?
- Die-Bond
- Do you remember the movie with Jim Carey from the 90's where he had a green face and got all crazy? Oh yea it was called "The Mask". Well, not many people heard a bout it, but they made a movie about that same guy before he found the mask and worked in a sign shop.
- It was called "Pre-mask"
- What is the deference between a boat captain and the Pre-press department?
- One wants you to have a PFD and the other prefers PDF's
- Why did the mummy get a job in a sign shop?
- He always wanted to be a vehicle wrapper
- Why did the policeman get fired from pre-press?
- Whenever he saw fonts that were still in text form, he always outlined the body copy, but he only did it in chalk.
- Why did the finishers get kicked out of the amusement park?
- People got mad that they were through cutting all the lines.
- Why did the farmer get hired on in pre-press?
- He had a lot of experience checking crops!
- Most people don't know this, but Blackbeard the pirate had a little brother. Instead of pirating his trade of choice was printing. Unfortunately, the family name struck terror into the local villagers. After thinking long and hard about it he decided to change his name.
- He changed it to K-beard
- Why did Dracula want to get a job in prepress?
- He heard they were always bleeding their files
- What animal usually works at a sign shop?
- A Giraff-ic Designer
- Why did the print file stop working out?
- Because it was already ripped
- Why was the printer so excited after reading their horoscope?
- It said their print heads would finally align.
- What is the most dangerous substrate in Florida?
- Gator Board
Musical Printers
Musical Printers
- Why did Bob Marley hate vector graphics?
- Because he was a Raster Man!
- Once they got really good they went digital, so they changed their name.
- They changed it to the Pan-Tones
Food & Drunks
Food & Drunks
- What is a printers favorite spicy food?
- The Cyan Pepper
- Why did the alcoholic get a job the sign shop?
- He heard they had a really high proof number
- We got a new press at work, but no mater what files we upload it just keeps printing pictures of sandwiches.
- It turns out it was a Panini press
- Why couldn't the low quality image find its lunch?
- Because the pixel ate it.
- Did you hear the one about the offset printer who finally switched to digital? The next day he went to the eye doctor.
- For the first time, he wasn't seeing spots.
- Why did the printer take his UV Ink to the doctor?
He heard it needed to be cured.
Other people make Print Shop jokes too
Other people make Print Shop jokes too
From Re:Print
From Re:Print
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse