These are the funny quotes by George Burns that actually made me laugh, so I though to share it with you!
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1.
Next, you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally, you forget to pull it down.
-- George Burns
2.
Happiness? A fantastic cigar, a fantastic meal, a fantastic cigar, and a fantastic girl -- or a poor girl; it is dependent upon how much happiness you can handle.-- George Burns3.How do I die? I am booked.
-- George Burns
3.
I can not afford to die; I would lose too much money.
-- George Burns
4.
I look to the future because that is where I will devote the remainder of my life.
-- George Burns
5.Â
In my age, I must carry on to something.
-- George Burns
6.
I'd go out with girls my age, however, there are not any girls my age.-- George Burns
7.
I am at the age now where only putting my cigar in its own holder is a joy.
-- George Burns
8.
I'm quite happy to be here. Let us face it, at my age I am very happy to be everywhere.
-- George Burns
9.
If you ask what's the single most important key to longevity, then I would need to say it's avoiding worry, anxiety, and anxiety. And if you did not ask me, I would still need to mention it.
-- George Burns
10.
The problem is, I can not recall if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns
11.
Lovely humorous saying of a retired guy! Retirement at sixty-five is absurd.
-- George Burns
12.
You know you are getting old once you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you are down there.
-- George Burns
13.
I can not know why I flunked American history.
-- George Burns
14.
If you are a smoker, then this Hilarious saying will probably be an fantastic reply. When requested in his late 90s, when his physician knew he smoked, Burns explained,"No... he is dead."
-- George Burns
15.
There are two sorts of cruises -- joy and kids.
-- George Burns
16.
Smartness runs in my loved ones.
-- George Burns
17.
Old age is if you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated since there are fewer posts to see.
-- George Burns
18.
Love is much like a backache; it does not appear on X-rays, but you know that it's there.
-- George Burns
19.
In these days, the very best painkiller was ice; it was not addictive, and it had been especially effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
-- George Burns
20.
I really like to sing, and that I really like to drink scotch.
-- George Burns
21.
You simply need to remember it.
-- George Burns
22.
Everything that goes up has to come down.
-- George Burns