Chapter 10

As soon as they left the hunting ground, the emperor dismounted from the horse and climbed onto the palanquin. Kang, who had always been with the emperor, had to ride in the palanquin with him. Perhaps due to the consecutive deaths he had witnessed and heard about, Kang, though still a child, had a rather tired expression. Seating the child on his broad thigh and observing him like a doll, the emperor asked, his chin resting on his hand.

"Why do you wear a face that seems to bear all the worries of the world?"

As if teasing, the emperor poked Kang's cheek with his finger. Whether at 4 or 7 years old, his cheeks were equally plump. They looked like freshly baked flour food from a bakery. Touching the cheek as if it were a sweet bun about to split in half and drip honey, the emperor frowned slightly when the child moved away uncomfortably. Even if the emperor showed a little irritation, the child would cling to him fearfully and snuggle up. Even now, the child nestled voluntarily in the emperor's arms, keeping an eye on the emperor's mood. Only then did the emperor relax his face and gently hold the child's hair between his fingers. He liked how the hair, carefully arranged by the palace maids, flowed down. Kang surrendered everything to the emperor and remained quiet. The emperor untied the neatly tied band around his head and inserted his hand between the child's hair. He gently touched the round back of the head and played with the hair cascading down the back. Kang squirmed at the sensation of the adult-like touch grazing his ear.

"It, it tickles...."

Kang whimpered. The emperor removed his hand and brushed up the cascading hair. The big eyes, shyly lowered, were incredibly large. It was always amazing how all the features fit on such a small face. The emperor couldn't resist the adorable chubby cheeks, tinted with a peachy hue like rouge applied by ladies, so he often kissed them and sometimes even nibbled them. If he nibbled too hard, Kang would burst into tears. His delicate skin quickly reddened, startling the emperor. It was through Kang that he first realized how fragile a child's existence could be. When he summoned the doctor to treat the redness, the doctor laughed it off, saying it was nothing serious. He just advised the emperor gently, "Be careful from now on. Very gently." So, the emperor took the doctor's advice.

Gently nibble. Because children are delicate.

"Ah!"

As he gently nibbled the cheek, the child cried out in pain. Startled, the emperor touched the child's face. Luckily, it seemed the child was only stung, as he was holding onto his cheek. The emperor sighed in relief and hugged the child tightly. Kang, who had suddenly hugged the emperor, hesitated before wrapping his arms around the emperor's neck. The emperor liked it when Kang hugged him himself. The weight that became heavy wasn't bad at all. He could endure this much and more.

However, the regretful thing was the fact that when he grows up, the child wouldn't snuggle up to his chest anymore. The chubby cheeks, the sharp and moist lips, the neck emitting a fragrant spring scent, they would all grow up like an adult. When the child grew up, he would leave his side.

"Abamama?"

As the child turned his tiny face and called himself, the emperor's heart trembled. Unable to resist the emotions surging like waves, the emperor hugged the child tightly.

"It hurts, Abamama."

The child whimpered, but the emperor didn't want to let go. Should he swallow him up? Chew him up? He just wanted to keep him inside and gaze at him. The emperor buried his nose in the child's neck, making a moaning sound, and sucked hard.

There, a flower bloomed. Otherwise, such sweetness couldn't be produced.

"It's sweet."

"What?"

"It means you're sweet."

"I'm not sweet."

The child lifted his head forcefully, but the emperor firmly denied it. He wrapped the child's cheek with both hands. The child's hair fell down, covering the emperor's hands.

"You're so sweet it's insane."

"...Ah."

The child let out a short sigh with a face that knew nothing. The emperor kissed the cheeks, neck, back of the hand, and palms, more solemnly and delicately than when stamping a seal on a letter. Occasionally, the child shivered from the ticklish sensation and the tender affection that stirred his heart. Trying to squirm away, the child exhaled slowly. With half-closed eyes, Kang leaned his face against the emperor's shoulder.

It wasn't bad every time the emperor hugged him. However, knowing that his brothers sometimes sulked or felt jealous, he wanted to keep his distance occasionally. He didn't like how his brothers distanced themselves as the emperor showed affection. Except for Yeon Song, there were no brothers who were friendly to Kang. Even the young servants who used to play together seemed to have disappeared. He missed his mother, who hadn't been seen for a year.

Despite the overwhelming longing, drowsiness crept in. Beyond the firmness of the emperor's embrace, its warmth overflowed with tenderness, lulling Kang to sleep. He gradually relaxed and dozed off. The emperor felt Kang's arm, which had been wrapped around his neck, gently fall away. Soft, steady breathing sounded very close.

Throughout the journey to the consort’s palace, the emperor pondered. Since the child had fallen asleep, should he go to Cheonggeum Palace? He wanted to take the child to bed and put him to sleep for the first time in a long time. It would startle the palace attendants, but the emperor wanted to hold the child in his arms and fall asleep together. The cute sleeping figure would disappear as he grew older, so he wanted to engrave it in his memory even a little.

He thought about calling a servant but decided against it. It was determined that Hyeon-bi should come first. He was reminded of the palanquin that was behind Hyeonbi, rather than the one that wept at the funeral a few years ago.It was time to bend the will of the tiger without teeth. If he made Hyeonbi, whose father was a sedan bearer, his consort, it was clear that the court would lean heavily in the direction Hyeonbi wanted.

Hyeonbi was a person given to him by his mother, but now that his power had grown, it was useless. Among those given by the empress dowager, only his brother, King Jihong, and the chamberlain were useful, along with a few others.

"Your Majesty, we have arrived. Shall we lower the palanquin?"

The attendants lowered the palanquin slowly, trying to ensure the emperor didn't feel discomfort. Carrying Kang himself, the emperor descended from the palanquin and walked towards Hyeon-bi's palace. The chamberlain, the chief eunuch who always served by the emperor's side, gave the emperor a complicated look. It seemed too cruel to carry another child while Hyeon-bi mourned the loss of their own. Moreover, the rumors he had secretly heard troubled him. The rumor circulating was that Hyeon-bi was cursing Kang and the concubine to death.

Was it to my benefit or detriment to bring this up? The chamberlain pondered briefly during the short walk to the palace, then closed his mouth and covered it with his sleeve. He hid his body in the shadow cast by the leaning emperor, only able to see his toes.

As they entered Hyeon-bi's palace, what struck the emperor's ears was Hyeon-bi's loud sobbing. There was a deep sorrow in his pitiful cries. Kang also seemed to hear the crying as he lifted his head hesitantly. The emperor chuckled as he looked at his son, blinking dumbly. Kang tilted his head, as if bothered by his tousled hair.

"Abamama, you can let me down now."

Though Kang regained his composure and spoke, the emperor entered the palace while still holding the child. The palace attendants, including the nanny who took care of Princess Jae-rin, came out and bowed. The emperor called for the maid. She approached with hesitant steps and bowed as if she were about to kneel to the ground.

"Your Majesty, Your Highness! I will accept the guilt of not curing Princess Jae-rin's illness with my life!"

According to the law, she had to reveal her name and affiliation, but the nanny was the first to confess her guilt. If the prince or princess couldn't be cured and died, not only the maid but also her family would be punished. She couldn't protect the princess, but she wanted to protect her family. Trembling with sweat and tears, she shook uncontrollably.

Seeing her demeanor that seemed ready to collapse even with a simple word, the emperor clicked his tongue.

Princess Jae-rin's death was not the fault of the nanny. She had been frail since birth, always carrying an unknown illness. Her heart was weak too; whenever the emperor held her, she would tremble and cry inconsolably. Hyeon-bi would awkwardly smile and say, "Jae-rin cannot sleep peacefully," but the emperor knew better.

Jae-rin wasn't particularly endearing, nor was she detestable. There were always many children, some thriving while others perished every year. It felt almost obligatory.

"You must have many children, Your Majesty. The more you have, the better your chances of choosing a prince who can rule Yeon wisely. Do not bestow affection on children who depart for the heavens early. The child you bestow affection upon must be only one."

The consort's whispered words echoed clearly in his ears. "Only one, the crown prince."

In the face of the emperor's first experience with a child's death, the empress dowager was unusually affectionate.

"Think of when you become the king and rise to the position of crown prince. How many princes have died? But none of them have resented you. It's natural. Sacrificing their lives for such a noble position is only to be expected. So, do not give affection to the already deceased princes and children. Their deaths are part of nature's plan. Look forward."

The empress dowager made him look forward. There, a vast ceremonial hall where servants should stand stretched out before him. Stairs led from the hall, flanked by sturdy wolf statues. The wolves gazed skyward with wide-open eyes, howling.

"Isn't it beautiful? To bestow this beauty upon you, I even killed your brothers."

The empress dowager, who had once loved the concubine's child, also killed her own children to eliminate suspicion and ensure her own child's succession.

But he doesn't remember what they looked like, or their voices. The dead children were the same. Death repeated itself, time passed, and the Emperor was becoming numb. His position was too high to be shattered by someone's death. He had to remain firm. His power as Emperor was too tough to be disturbed by such personal deaths.

"Why did Princess Jae-rin go to heaven?"

The Emperor asked softly before entering the consort’s chamber. Prostrate on the floor, the physician couldn't easily open his mouth. The Emperor couldn't bear it and let out a low grunt.

"Can't you just tell the truth?"

"Y-Your Majesty, it's because... even before the medicine arrived, the Princess had already gone to heaven. The medicine brought from Saga was faulty..."

"What?"

The palace fell silent as if cold water had been poured over his confession. The Emperor's face, weary from putting the child to sleep, now bore a fierce anger. Startled, the child in his arms buried his face in the Emperor's shoulder. The Emperor's gaze swept over the palace maids and guards who were prostrate on the ground. They cried out, "We have sinned! Please forgive us!" But the Emperor's eyes were colder than ever. He gave short orders to the soldiers and guards who protected him.

"Arrest all the palace maids and guards here right now."

Those who naturally died while serving faced no consequence, but those who were responsible for the Princess's incorrect treatment or faulty medicine were executed. The Emperor had made up his mind to follow the law.

"I accept your command, Your Majesty!"

The golden soldiers[1] stormed into the palace. The palace maids resisted being dragged away but were forcibly removed by the strong hands of the soldiers. Those officials who wet themselves in fear were grabbed by the scruff of their necks and thrown onto the ground.

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty! We didn't know! W-We really didn't know that the consort had brought in the medicine! Please, Your Majesty, please forgive us!"

With some courage, the eunuch stepped forward to beg for forgiveness, but he was killed by the soldiers under the Emperor's command. Two swords pierced his neck, opening it to spill blood. He couldn't even make a sound, only twisting in agony. His gruesome death, with urine and blood flowing, made some palace maids faint. Other officials cried with faces pale as paper.

"Abamama... I'm scared."

Seeing the gruesome sight of someone dying with a hole in their throat, Kang pitifully clung to the Emperor. The Emperor hurriedly carried Kang towards Hyeon-bi’s chamber. Kang shook uncontrollably, pressing his face against the Emperor's collarbone. Witnessing consecutive deaths was too terrifying, especially seeing someone die with a hole in their throat while still alive. Kang couldn't even speak properly due to fear engulfing his body.

Receiving the medicine from Saga was a grave sin, but if the princess died because of it, it was unforgivable, as it meant killing the imperial family's seed. If the consort didn't know about the medicine, she wouldn't have died. However, if she knew and remained silent, she deserved to die as punishment for her sin. There was no discrimination before the law.

Even though the Emperor entered the consort's chamber with his soldiers, the consort remained motionless, holding the dead child in her arms. The chamber was dark as the consort had covered all the windows. "Should I light the fire?" the Chief Eunuch asked. The Emperor replied, "Yes."

"Your Majesty."

The chamberlain was about to light the fire when Hyeon-bi, who had been silent, called out to the emperor in a weak voice. It was remarkable in itself that she could muster the strength to speak after all the sobbing she had done. Holding the deceased Princess Jae-rin tightly in her arms, Hyeon-bi gently brushed her cheek against the child's, sharing warmth as she spoke.

"You're finally here. I thought the messenger wouldn't ever bring you back."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is."

The consort closed her eyes, letting tears of accumulated grief for her three children fall. She cried like an animal. Tears fell like raindrops on the corpse. When they touched the child's eyelids and streamed down, it almost seemed as if the deceased Princess Jae-rin was crying.

"Your Majesty, please hold Jae-rin just once. She's the poor child of a humble consort who has never been warmly embraced by Your Majesty even once. Just hold her once, for the departing child."

With all her dignity and honor cast aside, Hyeon-bi knelt before the emperor, offering the child. At that moment, the chamberlain lit the fire. Slowly, the chamber brightened from the east. The emperor, holding Kang, who was trembling in fear after witnessing the deaths of both animals and humans, looked at his deceased daughter's face.

Jae-rin seemed as if she were just sleeping, with her eyes tightly closed, surrounded by blankets. It almost seemed beautiful that she was sleeping so peacefully. If only her lips weren't tinged blue. Only after seeing the smooth lips that had once suckled her mother's milk turned blue did the emperor realize for certain. Princess Jae-rin was dead. She was already a corpse. The body without a soul had no significance.

The emperor didn't want to hold the body. Kang, held in his arms now, was more precious than the cold child. Perhaps he had hugged Kang too tightly, for Kang opened his mouth.

"Abamama, it hurts."

At the sound of his voice, Hyeon-bi raised her head as if entranced. Her brown eyes were empty. In her eyes, it was Kang, held in the emperor's arms, that she saw more clearly than the emperor himself. As Kang whimpered, the emperor was seen patting his back and saying, "There, there, baby." She looked at her child, who seemed too light in her arms.

The sight of her sleeping with her eyes closed was so beautiful, still so lovable, yet it seemed the emperor couldn't see such things. Three children died without ever receiving their father's love. If even one had been loved, Kang wouldn't have been hated to the point of being cursed to burned alive and buried in the ground. Each of them died without ever receiving the emperor's love, and they were burned in fire and buried in the ground.

"Your Majesty..."

Hyeon-bi called the emperor like a white heron. The emperor frowned. She lifted the dead child onto her lap, brushing away the flowing silver hair as she murmured.

"Why did the children of your concubine never receive Your Majesty's love?"

"The Emperor gave love to all his children."

"No!"

Hyeon-bi stood up abruptly and shouted. Her finger pointed towards the emperor, but her gaze was directed at Kang, who shivered under her intense gaze. It was a look he had never seen before. Was she a ghost from the underworld? Thoughts of the ghost stories her mother used to tell him flashed through his mind, and he broke out in a cold sweat. Hyeon-bi’s eyes were too terrifying. If the emperor let go, he felt like she would attack and kill him.

"A-Abamama... I'm scared...!"

Kang burst into tears, clinging tightly to the emperor, trembling so much it was incomparable to when he saw prey. The emperor held onto the child tightly, never intending to let go.

What was so easy for Kang was so difficult for Jae-rin and the other children. Hyeon-bi’s eyes were bloodshot. Her anger was building up and spilling out uncontrollably.

"Your Majesty. You say the children of your concubines were loved? No. You have never loved the children of your concubines even once. You never embraced them so affectionately! Why didn't you love the children of your concubine?"

"Do you really want an answer to that?"

The emperor asked calmly. Hyeon-bi kneeled again on the ground and sobbed. After looking at her pitifully for a moment, the emperor sighed and murmured.

"They were children who wouldn't even become crowned anyway. Even if they were alive, the Emperor would not have made them into crown prince."

Hyeon-bi forced a smile through her tears.

"Because you hated the concubine... Was that it?"

The emperor reached out and touched the head of Hyeon-bi, who had become unrecognizable whether she was crying or smiling. His body involuntarily leaned forward. His hand moved down to touch her tear-stained cheek and chin. Holding her face in place, the emperor smiled and said,

"I neither love nor hate."

Hearing his inner thoughts, her face became blank. In contrast, the emperor smiled brightly like a ray of light.

"That's just how it is. Of course, it applies to your children too. In fact, it means nothing to the Emperor. Whether they live or die, what's the point?"

The emperor quickly removed his hand from her face. His gesture conveyed reluctance, quite different from when he held her hand. The emperor looked at her, who was only holding onto her child, with an indifferent gaze. Meeting her eyes, the emperor gave a short smile and then addressed the remaining people in the chamber.

"The cruel mother who killed the princess with medicine brought from Saga. Lock her up in the cold palace immediately."

Now she could only leave the cold palace after death. It was a miserable decree.

[1] Geumgun.

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