Three sisters, named Flora, Fiona and Fanny lived in the same village in Yorkshire and were renowned for their beauty, although all of them had extra large feet. One evening, Flora and Fiona went to the local village bop and were soon chatting to some lads from the next village. By gum, said one of the lads. Haven't you got big feet! Oh that's nought they replied. You should see our Fannys.

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A man, his wife and daughter are arguing about who should pop down the shops for a pint of milk. Ill tell you what, says the man finally. Whoever speaks first has to go and get the milk. The others agree and silence ensues. Ten minutes later, the girls boyfriend walks in. Hello everyone, he says, but there is no response. How about a cup of tea? Still no one speaks, so he goes over to his girlfriend, gives her a lip smacking kiss and leads her out of the door and up the stairs. Half an hour later he returns looking a little flushed but still no one speaks. He decides to have a bit of fun so he goes up to the wife and gives her a kiss. He cant believe she doesn't say anything, so he takes this as a yes and takes her upstairs as well. Twenty minutes later he returns feeling quite knackered. As he passes the mirror he catches sight of his bedraggled appearance and his hair which is now sticking up in the air. Needing to tidy up, he asks, Anyone got any vaseline? At that, the man jumps up from his chair and rushes to the door. You're right, he says, a cup of tea would be nice, Ill just pop out for the milk.