Hello Salerno! I am Unamedperson222, your lovable citizen, politician, and journalist of Salerno! I am here today to bring the first edition of the Salerno Times, the greatest  Salernian newspaper!* Here at Salerno Times we give you the best national, local, editorial, and economical news you won't see anywhere else!* Today, we will talk about the parliamentary election, new things happening around salerno, and the old-age question of whether we are salernians or salernities. Lets get started!

New Month, New Parliament

Written by Unamedperson222

From the 23rd to the 26th of August, Salerno voted for a new Parliament. In total 11 people ran for Parliament, however only 6 got into office. Those people are their respected party are the following:

Space Is Alive - Reformation Party

Iowa - Moderate Party

Nat_O - Moderate Party

Doole_ - Reformation Party

Rocky - Moderate

Spectro - Independent

We interviewed Salerno Citizen RomanRepublic about his thoughts on the recent election. “I’m happy Salerno is experiencing Democracy. While I’m disappointed my party [Salerno Social Liberty Caucus] could not run, I’m glad that the people’s interests are being represented, and would like to congratulate all who managed to get elected, the moderates in gaining a majority, and the Prime Minister in his appointment... I expected the moderates to win, I did not expect the reform party to gain as much as they did. That was a surprise... While I disagree with the Moderates on many issues, I believe they will rule Salerno with the utmost respect and integrity it and its people deserve.” Unfortunately, I could not interview any Parliament members. With the election behind us, the focus now shifts to the work ahead. The new parliament faces significant challenges, but also the opportunity to steer Salerno towards a brighter future. Their actions in the next few weeks will set the tone for what’s to come.

Victims of Communism Foundation: Rather Dead Than Red

Written by Unamedperson222

Recently, a new organization formed in Salerno: The Victims of Communism Foundation. This foundation was formed to "spread awareness of the dangers of communism, and to pressure the government to take on an anti communist stance in global politics," as the organization states. Their beliefs are that communsim is a dangerous ideology that must be "eradicated," another quote from them. They also believe that the Salerinian government should take hostile actions against communist nations, and that communists inside of Salerno should be "re-educated" or deported. I asked Parliament member Nat_O about what his thoughts on this foundation were. "I believe this movement needlessly alienates our political scene and argues for a potentially destructive change in foreign policy by bringing [real life] politics into Salerno. Socialist states and the Agrarian socialist party have done nothing to harm Salerno and therefore we shouldn't aim to actively harm either." Other citizens were also publicly distraught about this foundation's existence, with one citizen stating at the person who leads this foundation should get pearled. We spoke to the founder of this foundation, Nibistew, who is currently pearled by Alcantara.

Reporter: "What motivated you to found [Victims of Communism Foundation]?"

Nibistew: "Being placed in political prison by the P.S.R. Alcantara."

Reporter: "What do you have to say to the people who don't like this foundation and think you should be pearled?"

Nibistew: "These people are vicious communists that respond to honest criticism with immediate violence."

A citizen stated that "[Nibistew] might use this organization for an attack on Alcantara. He might make Salerno his base of operations for raids in our country...these people [are] a terrorist organization." This foundation could also be a big threat to the Salerno political party, Agrarian Socialist Party.  So, what do you think? Is the Victims of Communism a terrorist organization or people peacefully fighting against communists? 

Opinion: Are we Salernians or Salernites?

Written by Unamedperson222

Ah, the age-old question. The question that has divided Salerno since it was born: Are we Salernians or Salernites? Officially, we are Salernites according to Senator Luminous. However, me and other Salernians/Salernites think we are Salernians. In my opinion, Salernites is just a bad-sounding word that is too hard to spell and keeps getting auto-corrected. So, we did a poll! According to our poll, most people think we are Salernites. Let's get into everyone's favorite thing: Statistics. 71% of "Salernites" like Salernite better, while 29% of "Salernians" think Salernian is best term for us. Out of the 71%, 66.7% were citizens while 33.3% were government officials. Out of the (silent majority!) 29%, 60% were citizens and 40% were government officals. Want to know something cool? Our very own King Antares I thought we were Salernians! (We never said it was anonymous!) If that doesn't change your mind, I don't know what will! We needed a poll, so we decided to add another poll to here. The results will be at the end of next newsletter!

Well, that was our first newsletter! Did you like it? Please send us your feedback by dming raging_coyote/Unamedperson222 on discord! Also, we have a Youtube Channel where we post video form of our newsletters, so check that out! This is Unamedperson222 signing out for the first time, have a good one!

*according to me, unamedperson222