I mean, their only funeral-type tradition is that they get a new portrait made with all of them except for the newly deceased, and I don't think that's a really healthy way of dealing with the loss of a family member.
So when the gang here said that they needed a new portrait done, I said I'd be more than happy to stick around and do it because I had some downtime between the next meeting of the Worldwide Vampiric Council and the two-episode arc I booked on SVU next month.
[S3E10] The Portrait
As Season 3 of What We Do in the Shadows neared its conclusion, there was less of the bawdy humor the show is known for and more attention paid to the vampires' existential crises. Currently, they're dealing with the death of their friend and housemate, Colin Robinson, but Guillermo doesn't think they're dealing with it very well. Rather than process their feelings about the energy vampire's passing, they've hired Donal Logue to paint a new portrait of them. The veteran sitcom actor turned vampire picked up art as a hobby during the second season of Grounded for Life. While Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo, the Baron, the Sire, the Guide, the hellhound and even Guillermo pose for the new painting, Logue -- affable as ever -- bores them with stories about the entertainment industry.
The point of the new portrait is that Colin isn't in it. That way, they can hang it above their fireplace, forget about him forever and heal. But it's clear from their spirited bickering that the healing hasn't begun. Laszlo insists he's over it, even though he can't bring himself to say goodbye to Colin's corpse. Nandor hurls obscenities and accuses Nadja of masking her pain with jokes, to which Nadja fires back that Nandor wouldn't know a punchline if it ran over his scrotum with a penny farthing. Everyone but the Baron and the Sire storm off in different directions.
The housemates reassemble so that Donal Logue can finish their portrait, and Guillermo takes the opportunity to make a case for staying together, but Nadja interrupts him and blurts out the news of her promotion, and Nandor tacks on the news about his upcoming Eat Pray Love journey. Nadja knows about the Sherwood Club, though not the particulars of Laszlo's expulsion, but she thinks Laszlo's being selfish. He finally comes clean with the whole story. The club didn't care about his libertine dalliances or even that he was a vampire, but they drew the line at his marriage to her: a Greek commoner. When Nadja reminds him that she'll be returning to London with a heightened status, Laszlo quickly relents.
As part of vampire tradition, Colin Robinson's roommates, along with the Council guide, Baron Afanas, the Sire and Aspen, all pose for a portrait painted by Donal Logue. Tensions arise during the process and the vampires bicker. Nandor storms off and tells the camera crew that he plans to leave Staten Island. Guillermo overhears and Nandor tells him he will be leaving alone, and that Nadja and Laszlo are likely to also move on soon. Meanwhile, Nadja suggests to Laszlo that they take a trip to England to take their minds off Colin's death, but Laszlo turns it down.
Elimination tattoo: Accuracy was still the name of the game for the elimination tattoo as the artists tackled portraits. One of the canvases wanted to get Dave Navarro tattooed on her and Jime took that one, which seemed like a good choice, until he got some bad advice from Joey, telling him to put highlights in the hair where there were none in the photo. Kyle had a pretty tough tattoo which was an older woman with many wrinkles in her face and although he did the best he could, it looked rough.
I agree with you 100 percent ,jennifer. That portrait looked nothing like that lady. He gave her wrinkles. That lady is beautiful the portrait did no justice, he should have went home. I hope that lady knows she looks beautiful
As for Crane and Jason, they find themselves at Wayne Manor, knowing the Titans would not be there. Crane pokes fun at the decor, opens a bottle of booze, and convinces Jason to take a knife to the portrait of Bruce and his parents. Jason takes all his frustrations out on the painting, cutting it to pieces.
I'm surprised no one really tried to push Guillermo out of the family portrait. It was kind of them, though they always have to complain about his presence. I laughed when Donal Logue ended up hanging around to draw a portrait and talk about his Hollywood experience.
This was not as impactful for me as last season's finale, but it would have been hard to top the massacre and the slayer reveal. I did like the set up that everyone was together for the portrait including the hellhound. I wonder whose idea it was to throw in a Jimmy the MTV cab driver reference in the discussion of Donal Logue's oeuvre. Guillermo's "not panicking" way of panicking is great, and his throw down with Nandor was the highlight. Guillermo dodging, catching, and throwing that knife was pretty epic.
 38c6e68cf9