Wedding
[Rough Draft]
Several years back, I attended the wedding of my friend's son. The simplicity, the melodious Hebrew chanting with explanation, and conciseness of that wedding gave me an idea to design a similar Hindu wedding. Usually Indian weddings are long and difficult to follow the chanting of mantras while audience are busy in their own conversations.
I wanted to create a set of rituals which was customized according to the philosophy of the bride and groom as well as their family. Years passed but the idea became reality only when two very special individuals approached me to officiate their wedding.
This was such an honor as well as a huge challenge. Although I have masters degree in Sanskrit and I come from a traditional family of priests in a small town in India, I had no woman role model who performed a wedding. In fact, it was my understanding that performing such rituals was forbidden to a woman. So, I never dreamed of having to officiate a wedding.
The design process started by first understanding their vision. They wanted a short wedding which highlighted the equality and friendship between two souls. After several meetings and skype sessions, here is the final product which includes only rituals selected by them. We modified some meanings and skipped several rituals which may be significant to some other couple.
I consulted several books and actual wedding book used in the north Indian wedding.
The content below is from a wedding that I officiated and designed in collaboration with the bride and groom on August 24, 2019. Here are the different parts (click on link or scroll below):
Part 1: Barat and Arrival
Traditionally indian weddings begin with the Barat. This is when the bride's and groom's families enter and walk down and often both families greet each other.
The four video clips below show different people entering the wedding location including the bride with the sound of Shankha (a conch shell) which is a cosmic sound of creation. The sound removes the negative energy and creates positive vibration in the surrounding.
Part 2: Introduction, Invocation and Oath
The video below shows my introduction followed by the shlokas for invocation, garland (necklace of flowers) exchange and oath. Below the video, I provide more information with the original sanskrit text.
A. Invocation
Hindu weddings typically start with an invocation which is a prayer. Below in sanskrit are the words I recited along with their summary in English.
"The ceremony begins by requesting Ganesha to sweep away obstacles."
गजाननं भूत गणादि सेवितं कपित्थ जम्बू फल चारु भक्षणं; उमा सुतं शोक विनाश कारणं नमामि विघ्नेश्वर पाद पंकजम। एक दंताय विद्महे, वक्र तुण्डाय धीमहि। तन्नो दन्तिः प्रचोदयात। ॐ श्री गणेशाय नमः।""We also pay tribute to nature on earth and in the space. Similarly, parents and elderly in each family are honored in the next mantra because they have paved the way for the bride and groom to be here today."
ॐ माता पितृभ्योह नमः। ईष्टदेवताभ्यो नमः। कुलदेवताभ्यो नमः। ग्राम देवताभ्यो नमः। स्थान देवताभ्यो नमः। वास्तु देवताभ्यो नमः। आदित्यादि नवग्रह देवताभ्यो नमः। सर्वेभ्यो देवेभ्यो नमः।ॐB. Jaymala (garland exchange)
Next, bride and groom welcomed each other using a garland (necklace of flowers) while I recite:
"the mantra describes one as song and other as verse, signifying their complementary nature. This is the moment when divinity would be showering their blessings upon them."
"सोऽहं अस्मि, सा त्वम्। सामअहमस्मि ऋग त्वम् । द्यौ अहम् पृथ्वी त्वम्। ताविह संभवाव प्रजामा जनयावहै। तदेव लग्नं सुदिनं तदेव, तारा बलम चंद्रबलं तदेव, विद्या बलम देव बलम तदेव, लक्ष्मीपते ते अंघ्रियुगम स्मरामि"
C. Sankalpam (oath to perform the wedding ritual properly)
With the next mantra I asked them if they agree to carry out the wedding rituals to the best of their ability.
ॐ गृहस्थाश्रम सिद्ध्यर्थं, चतुर्विध पुरुषार्थ फल सिध्यर्थं, शुभ विवाह विधिं, यथा विहितं कर्म कुरु।
they agree by saying: "यथा ज्ञानं करवाणि।
In addition, they recited their own oaths to each other expressing their readiness to embark on the journey for the next stage of their companionship as a married couple.
Both mothers supported and blessed their oath and requested guests to bless and support their children.
Part 3: Hastmilap and Gathbandhan (joining hands and tying the knot)
Hastamilap (joining hands):
In this step, the bride and groom join hands, while being supported by both of their fathers. This is similar to giving away the bride. But for the sake of equality, they wanted both fathers involved. So both fathers held and offered their children's hand to the other. We used a coconut smeared in Kumkum and Haldi (red and yellow powder) signifying the sacrifice and sustenance needed for successful unification of two friends.
The mantra below requests god and goddess to bless this union
ॐ मंगलम भगवानविष्णुः मंगलम गरुणध्वजः मंगलम पुण्डरीकाक्षः मंगलायतनो हरिःसर्वमंगल मांगल्ये शिवेसर्वार्थ साधिके, शरण्ये त्रयम्बिके गौरी नारायणी नमोस्तुतेया देवी सर्व भूतेषु लक्ष्मीरूपेण संस्थिता नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमो नमः विष्णुमायेति, मातृरूपेण
Gathbandhan (Tying of the knot) symbolizes the union of mind and body in love, resources, and responsibility . This was performed by both siblings which symbolizes the unification of their support for the relationship. The following mantra means "The knot ties our minds and hearts together. May your heart be mine and may my heart be yours."
बध्नामि सत्यग्रन्थिना मनश्च हृदयँ च ते। यदेतद हृदयं तव, तदस्तु हृदयँ मम। यदेतद हृदयँ मम, तदस्तु हृदयं तव। बध्नामि सत्यग्रन्थिना मनश्च हृदयँ च ते।
Part 4: Hawan and Mangalfera (fire ritual and 4 circles)
Hawan (fire ritual): is performed to recognize the transient nature of materialistic objects. The bride and groom acknowledge that the material possessions are of little importance to them by offering materials to the fire. Fire is the energy that sustains life on earth. They declared with each mantra that the offerings are not theirs but belongs to Nature.
Laja in the fire also represents burning rag, dwesh,prmad etc.
ॐ अदिते अनुमन्यस्व,ॐ अनुमते अनुमन्यस्व, ॐ सरस्वती अनुमन्यस्व, ॐ देव सवितः प्रसुव ॐ हिरण्यगर्भ समवर्त ताग्रे भूतस्य जातः पतिः एक आसते सा दधारा पृथ्वीं द्यामुतेमां कस्मै देवाय हविषा विधेम ॐ अग्नये स्वाहा। इदं अग्नये इदन्नमम।ॐ प्रजापत्याये स्वाहा। इदं प्रजापतये इदन्नमम।ॐ इन्द्राय स्वाहा इदं इन्द्राय इदन्नममॐ सोमाय स्वाहा इदं सोमाय इदन्नममॐ प्राणाय स्वाहा इदं प्राणाय इदन्नममॐ भूः स्वाहा। इदं भूरग्नये इदन्नममॐ भुवः स्वाहा। इदं भुवःवायवे इदन्नममॐ सुवः स्वाहा। इदं सुवःआदित्याये इदन्नमम।ॐ भूः भुवः सुवः तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गोदेवस्य धीमहि धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात स्वाहा। इदं आदित्याये इदन्नमम।
Mangalfera (4 circles of life): vedic philosophy describes the purpose of human life to accomplish dharma, artha, kama, and moksha. For the sake of the goal of human life, they encircled the fire four times while promising to support each other in accomplishing these goals. Here is the description of each of these aspects of life in the words of the bride and groom.
Dharma is to strive for and live life in a way that reflects their collective moral code
ॐ विश्वानि देव सवितर्दुरितानि परासुव यद्भद्रं तन्न आसुव, स्वाहा इदं dharmaay इदन्नमम।Artha is the recognition that attainment of resources is needed to live a successful life.
ॐ प्रजापते न त्वदेतान अन्यो विश्वजातानि परिताबभूव यत्कामास्ते जुहुमस्तन्नो अस्तु वयं स्याम पतयोः रयीणां, स्वाहा इदं arthaay इदन्नममKama is to have each other’s company in realizing the joys and closeness of human life.
ॐ अग्नि:र्ज्योतिः ज्योतिरग्निः स्वाहा इदं kaamaay इदन्नमम।Moksha is to leave behind a legacy that reflects their goal of leaving the world in a better place than they found it.
ॐ अग्निः वर्चो ज्योतिh वर्च्चh स्वाहा इदं mokshaay इदन्नमम।Final offerings to fire. We will finish and complete Hawan with following mantra which means all is perfect and complete. May the perfection in this ritual make me perfect.
ॐ पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात्पूर्णमुदच्यते। पूर्णस्य पूर्णमादाय पूर्णमेवावशिष्यते। ॐ सर्वं वै पूर्णं dh स्वाहा। ३Four fera is also for the four elements (panch mahabhoot)
Part 5: Saptapadi and Asheerwad (seven steps and blessings)
Saptapadi (seven steps of commitment): is the climax of a vedic wedding. The bride and groom's wanted to give a meaning to the steps. So some of the meaning of mantra was adjusted accordingly.
ॐ ईशे एक पदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु - इति प्रथमं।
The first step is to personify our promise to nourish each other on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
ॐ ऊर्जे द्वि पदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु -इति द्वितीयं।
The second step is to promise to strengthen each other in moments of need.
ॐ व्रताय त्रि पदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु इति तृतीयं। Third step is to help each other stay true to our own self.ॐ मायोभवाय चतुष्पदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु इति चतुर्थं।
Fourth step is to love each other unconditionally.
ॐ पशुभ्यो पंच पदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु इति पञ्चमं।
Fifth step is to promise to put our collective interests above individual ones.
ॐ रायस्पोषाय षट्पदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु इति षष्ठं।
Sixth step is to encourage each other in our ability to live life to our fullest potential.
ॐ होत्रेभ्यो सप्तपदी भव, विष्णुस्त्वा नयतु इति सप्तमं।
Seventh and final one is to work together to make an impact that extends beyond ourselves. Sheena can exit after this recitation
सखा सप्तपदी भव, सख्यं ते गमेयं, सख्यं ते मायोषः, सख्यं ते मयोष्टah –
With these 7 steps, you have become my eternal friend. May I deserve your friendship. May my friendship make me one with you and may your friendship make you one with me.
Ashirvad (Blessings)
A. I ask protection for you from known and unknown threats. May You lead a life surrounded by happiness and positivity.
ॐ अभयं मित्रात, अभयं अमित्रात, अभयं ज्ञातात, अभयं परोक्षात . अभयं नक्तं, अभयं दिवा नः, सर्वा आशा taw मित्रं भवन्तु।B. I ask the audience to wish you everlasting companionship, success, health, longevity, prosperity and a hundred years of life span. Please bless them.
Om पश्येम शरदः शतम, जीवेम शरदः शतं, शृणुयाम शरदः शतम ।प्रब्रवाम शरदः शतम, अदीनाः स्याम शरदः शतम, भूयश्च शरदः शतात ।C. I will end this Vedic ceremony with the blessing for peace in your lives and in your surroundings
ॐ द्यौ शान्तिरन्तरिक्ष, शांतिः पृथ्वीः, शांतिः आपः, शांतिः ओषधयः शांतिः वनस्पतयः, शांतिः विश्वेदेवाः, शांतिः ब्रह्म शांतिः सर्व शांतिः शान्तिरेव शांतिः, सा मा शान्तिः एधि । ॐ शांतिः शांतिः शांतिः .May your friendship grow stronger everyday. God bless you. Thank you. Namaste.